Why are we promoting dorks like Texas Ranger and Conan O’Brian as centers of attention on television? Is this Hollywood’s idea of the accessible every-man? Somebody’s got to be laughing their head off behind the scene.
 
Clearly the standard for leading men is otherwise high. Consider that the Oceans 11 frat pack have no peers to cast in competing blockbusters. There have always been Ralph Kramdens and Ed Nortons, re King of Queens et al, or flat out queens and eunuchs, but where does medialand come off casting Chuck Norris as any kind of Tommy Lee Jones ranger? Norris looks as absurd as the stereotype he pioneered, the white man in Eastern man’s pajamas, where they don’t tuck 45-Magnums under their judo belts.

And where does Conan O’Brian embody anything more than the wiseacre comedy writer’s idiot kid brother (Eddie Haskell minus Dennis the Menace), who was visiting the set but had to step into frame because everyone even remotely qualified was throwing up. We all know how competitive comedy is, comics don’t grow on trees but they crowd the stand-up circuit.

Acts like Chuck and Conan are onscreen to insult us. Like miserable quiz-show contestants, they give every-man a sense he’s not the dumbest, dumbest-looking loser in TV-viewer-land. The beer ads don’t have to be so clever by comparison.