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The difference between GOP and a pig? Lipstick.

Alaska governor Sarah Palin hunts wildlife from a plane doorIn her speech last night at the RNC, Alaska Governor Sarah Palin riddled us: What’s the difference between a HOCKEY MOM and a PIT BULL? LIPSTICK. Maybe those of us who aren’t Alaskans or Canadians don’t know what “hockey moms” are. The raised placards at the RNC would have us think, and the cheering response would have us believe, that this is an appeal to homemaker feminists. We’re meant to confuse “hockey moms” -I’m sure- with “soccer moms,” a term which has nothing to do with tenacious blood-lust / sports advocacy.

“Soccer Moms” is about multitasking mothers overtaxed by the myriad after-school activities which excuse their driving Subarus or SUVs. The lexicographic link must be “soccer hooligan” from which we can derive the disproportionate competitive fervor shown by Little League parents. (Soccer Mom — Soccer Hooligan — Hockey Mom?) Would that explain the pit bull comparison? Or are Alaskan pit bulls beasts of burden on the dog sled teams?

No. VP candidate Sarah Palin is a pit bull alright, with the lies she’s pulling her children into, and the bold faced misrepresentations she’s making about her political record as a reformer and corruption cop, which she is everything but. But where Palin really needs the lipstick is to disguise her pit bull blood lust. Palin shoots moose and wolves from airplanes. lipstick She championed a ballot initiative to protect the rights of “Safari” outfits to take “hunters” like herself aloft where they can spot wild animals against the bare snow, stalk them until they are out of wind, then fire at them with high power rifles until they splatter dead. No need even to land the plane.

Pit bulls are outlawed in many civilized municipalities and Human Societies throughout the lower forty-eight won’t let people re-adopt them, choosing rather to euthanize pit bulls sooner than expose more would be pet owners to the genetically malignant brutes. Pit bull skulls shrink in on their brains as they age. Ever since the Budweiser pitchdog, people think they’re cute, and owners will insist they are friendly just like any other dog, yada yada yada. Except they are the preferred pets of meth dealers to guard the stash while they are replenishing ingredients at Wal-mart. Pit bulls were bred to have heads like anvils and vice-like jaws. They look like steel-toothed pot-bellied pigs.

I’m surprised the GOP wants to remind TV viewers about an analogy whose punchline is lipstick.

Lipstick cannot disguise a pig, and it’s not going to disguise Sarah Palin.

10 thoughts on “The difference between GOP and a pig? Lipstick.

  1. MoveOn talking points:

    Palin recently said that the war in Iraq is “God’s task.” She’s even admitted she hasn’t thought about the war much—just last year she was quoted saying, “I’ve been so focused on state government, I haven’t really focused much on the war in Iraq.”

    Palin has actively sought the support of the fringe Alaska Independence Party. Six months ago, Palin told members of the group—who advocate for a vote on secession from the union—to “keep up the good work” and “wished the party luck on what she called its ‘inspiring convention.'”

    Palin wants to teach creationism in public schools. She hasn’t made clear whether she thinks evolution is a fact.

    Palin doesn’t believe that humans contribute to global warming. Speaking about climate change, she said, “I’m not one though who would attribute it to being manmade.”

    Palin has close ties to Big Oil. Her inauguration was even sponsored by BP. 6

    Palin is extremely anti-choice. She doesn’t even support abortion in the case of rape or incest.

    Palin opposes comprehensive sex-ed in public schools. She’s said she will only support abstinence-only approaches.

    As mayor, Palin tried to ban books from the library. Palin asked the library how she might go about banning books because some had inappropriate language in them—shocking the librarian, Mary Ellen Baker. According to Time, “news reports from the time show that Palin had threatened to fire Baker for not giving “full support” to the mayor.”

    She DID support the Bridge to Nowhere (before she opposed it). Palin claimed that she said “thanks, but no thanks” to the infamous Bridge to Nowhere. But in 2006, Palin supported the project repeatedly, saying that Alaska should take advantage of earmarks “while our congressional delegation is in a strong position to assist.”

  2. Now if Move On would just give its membership liberals some pointers on why Joe Biden totally sucks that would be just great. But they won’t and they really should re-name themselves Stuck In The Same Old Place.

  3. Joe Biden…yeah!…what a vain little man. I dont know about Obama’s great judgment. Let big oil win in 2008 and then properly destroy any credibility they have left before 2012. And then what? Boy do you Americans have your work cut up! Nice to see that some of you are starting early.

  4. Obama’s lip stick / pig remark … and, Biden’s unsavory children with special needs remarks show us what a couple of creeps these two candidates are. In lieu of Sarah Palin’s comment about hockey moms, pit bulls and lip stick, Obama’s lip stick/ pig remark was extremely demeaning. Even though I am not an Obama supporter, at least I thought he had some degree of class and sophistication. He can try to cover his tracks by saying that the lip stick remark was not directed towards Governor Palin, but anyone with half a brain knows that’s exactly what he meant. I think Obama knows his campaign is in real trouble, and that’s why he’s stooping to such desperate, insulting and distasteful attacks. Obama is definitely not Presidential material.

  5. Gee, I thought McCain knew his campaign was in real trouble when he picked a corrupt, know-nothing, right-wing dolt to be his running mate.

    I can hardly wait for the debates. If her ignorant comments about Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac are any indication, Sarah Palin will soon become an international laughingstock.

    Biden must be licking his chops….

  6. fuck off democrats Obama is putting our soilders in Afganistan where they are getting killed fuck you obama cock suckers

  7. And McCain said there should be a larger commitment of troops to Afghanistan.
    McCain is still only famous for being such a very bad pilot that he crashed his plane in a lake near Hanoi and got captured. He’s also infamous for being a jailhouse SnitchBitch for the DRVN army captors, for flogging a non-existent POWs supposedly being held either in Russia or Hanoi (Non-Existent, the DRVN released all the POWS… except for those who defected)
    Infamous for being a fellator of Lobbyists while denying that he sucks lobbyist wee-wee.

    Sarah Palin is still an ignorant Racist bitch and so are her followers.

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