Why golfers wear goofy clothes and other nonsense
By Brother Jonah
NOT MY TRIBE - 4/21/2017 12:49AM MDT
They wear gaudy and mismatched clothes so you can easily find their bodies after a lightning strike. The largest occurrence of lightning deaths are on golf courses, yet every set of clubs contains an umbrella. That makes a whole lot of sense, doesn’t it? Stand out in a thunderstorm with a metal rod in your hands? This has nothing to do with the Masters and Colonial golf extravaganzas which I think are soon to be, and if they aren’t then who cares anyway. But the God-awful stupid looking clothes, I call them Dork Suits, are done in screaming colors and patterns and they’re not found in nature. Perfect for spotting the bodies of dead rich idiots before they start to rot, and you wouldn’t want that to happen, right? But this isn’t about Golf, really. Millionaires running around on grassy fields chasing each others’ balls, like every pro sport, BORING. Then there’s the continual freak show in Washing Tundy Sea, just as stupid but this could affect your life, maybe even end it. Jefferson Sessions has once more done a ventriloquist act where his ass actually spoke, this time saying something really stupid about how does a Judge on a “island in the middle of the pacific” could hold up his precious fascist Travel Ban for racial and religious harassment. The island being a U.S. state made up of islands, similar to Alabama in conglomerate size and the methods of taking the lands from Native people. It’s called Hawaii. His mastery of geography is surpassed only by his mastery of socially acceptable behavior. He can’t, simply, for the life of him, figure out why it’s not legal to hang people without a trial based on the people being lynched, like those denied visas, simply because they are of a different skin tone or religious persuasion. Thus is the Cult of the Donald. If it were only one stupid redneck animated penis, it would be unbearable. But there’s more. oh God there’s more. Their whole Cult is chock full of stupid and/or purely evil persons.