You are here
Home > Author: Marveline

A favorite joke

Marvin is working in his store when he hears a booming voice from above: "Marvin, sell your business." He ignores it. It goes on for days. "Marvin, sell your business for $3 million." After weeks of this, Marvin relents, sells his store. The voice says ‘Marvin, go to Las Vegas." 47611

HOW TO GET OUT OF JURY DUTY

[Disclaimer: Jury duty is a service we owe our fellow citizens. It is a critical community responsibility. That said. If you really absolutely can't. This instructional allows you to make an alternative civic contribution.]   Here's how to get out of jury duty. GUARANTEED to work. I just did it and you can too, without getting into trouble, without feeling like you're not being a responsible member of society, and while providing a laudable service to other prospective jurors in the courtroom, not least of all to the defendant. 46877

Bananagrams true lowercase scrabble

SNL's Weekend Update poked fun at a tragic development in the world of word games. SCRABBLE rescinded its famous prohibition on proper names and places, leaving SNL to suggest that JENGA should let us use glue. Was traditional Scrabble (let's call it Scrabble Classic) becoming too difficult for today's wordsmiths? Maybe conjuring anagrams from a modern vocabulary has became too hard a scrabble. The timing of this generous handicap would seem to take aim at viral rival BANANAGRAMS, a faster but no looser crossword game. I think the focus playgroup missed a larger no-child-left-behind incompatibility, math. To square off with Bananagrams, Scrabble needs to dumb down the arithmetic. 15951

The Famous burger not most famous

Once again COLORADO SPRINGS STYLE nominates THE FAMOUS for the city's best burger. It ran against the usual lineup of respectable dining establishments plus King's Chef, the token dive, but there were notable omissions worth pointing out. At the crux, The Famous grinds their own hamburger from bits trimmed from nonpareil $40 steaks, but we're talking Iowa corn-fed variety, not prairie grass fed beef. You can find a free-range burger at Adams Mountain, which is listed, and Manitou's The Keg, which is not. The health aspect is a first omission that might have informed local diners immeasurably. 14396

Simple American breakfast no longer

My ideal breakfast is served at a diner: coffee, eggs, hash browns and toast. But can you feel healthy about it --as your conscience (n) --> vegan? You could pack in sugar in the raw, sea salt, and organic peppercorns in the requisite grinders; likewise from a cooler you could pull jars of rBGH-free half and half, real butter, and organic ketchup if you're inclined. But what about what's served on the plate? 13705

Americanface, ground floor

Remember Spiders On Drugs, of the 23 million views on Youtube? Victoria filmmaker Andrew Struthers, aka First Church of Christ, has followed it up with a series called AMERICANFACE, "an epic comedy adventure serial about a pilgrimage I once made to Tibet by mistake." Struthers is digital age James Burke. Texts are published at The Tyee. 12847

Little East district of Colorado Springs

I'm already months late in mentioning a new addition to downtown's ethnic fare. It's an Afghan restaurant called RUMI'S KABOB, in the location of the old Persian Grill. Rumi's joins the Everest Nepal Restaurant, the Taste of Jerusalem Cafe, the Pita Pit, Everest Tibet Imports, and the Hookah King, to define Bijou Street's LITTLE EAST. 9508

Bobcat

COLO. SPRINGS- We've seen mule deer in the dozen, two bears wrestling, and fox triplets at play, but this was the first wild cat Marie had seen on Cheyenne Mountain. Did it escape the zoo? It's a Bobcat, aka Lynx Rufus, halted momentarily for the camera. This cat stood 22 inches or so tall at the shoulders, with a paw print 2.5 inches wide, and moved with a stealthy nonchalance across the properties, but you could plot its progress by the loud consternation of the birds. Wildlife management was not alerted. 11834

Simplifying the Omnivore’s Dilemma

The author of The Omnivore's Dilemma put together a list of eating rules for the New York Times. From 2,500 submissions made by his readers, Michael Pollan gleaned 20. If I lob cheap laughs off the top, like "Don't eat egg salad from a vending machine" and other home-spun wisdoms which help NYT editors trivialize critiques of consumerism, I'm left with eight tips to spark constructive rethinking of our eating patterns. For starters: 1. If you are not hungry enough to eat an apple, then you’re not hungry. 11002

Honeybees were dying because?

Non-Bing-ers know the net is about the journey, not the destination. My search yesterday became the acquisition: from a Posterous tweet, to revisiting OK Go's 2006 treadmill video, to their backyard dance gone-viral, to choreographer sister Trish Sie in LOLLIPOP (new tab: Mika's highschool anthem WE ARE GOLDEN), to Sie's PSA for Saatchie & Saatchie: HELP THE HONEY BEES. When the worry was climate change or pesticides: poor bees. Then the suspect was GMOs. 9611

Starbucks customers know their coffee

Okay this is the obligatory coffee house post. Starbucks is betting its customers can't tell fresh brewed from instant. Choose X or Y -- the two are separated by gender apparently. Results could prove V, their space-age "VIA" instant product improves on Folgers, or W, their customers can't tell good coffee from WORSE. I tried it. 9568

Federer finds sweet spot below the belt

Tennis Grand Slam tournaments are for fans of Lexus, Chase, Netjets and JP Morgan, apparently. JP Morgan executive Mary Callahan Erdoes was even on hand during a commercial break to "thank the fans."   But at today's US Open, Roger Federer showed that Heineken drinkers aren't above circus hijinks. Federer scored the second to last point of the men's semifinal round with a swing between the legs. Note he is looking at neither the ball, nor the court, making not just a save, but placing a return beyond the reach his opponent. Physical intuition.

Top 10 Westerns, if you ask the French

  Are you a fan of the American Western? How do you think your taste might match a survey of French film critics? Though we mock their high regard for Jerry Lewis, let's allow that France has a film history that predates ours, and a legacy of critical journals beyond the reach of our Hollywood shills. Besides which, the golden age of the movie western lies well between the brothers Lumiére and the Nouvelle Vague. Perusing John Cawelti's The Six-Gun Mystique published in 1976, I found a list of the TOP TEN GREATEST WESTERNS. Think any of your favorites made the list? 8481

You know you’re in Texas when

--when the bas relief of the Dumas TX motel waffle iron is oddly asymmetric. You study the strange edges in the dim light of the breakfast area with a growing suspicion, but flipping the heated iron over, following the instructions, you see someone's presumed you wanted a waffle the image of Texas.

Top