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NE Patriots are serial cheaters, so are their namesakes. The unfair advantage is an essential of Capitalism.

First the New England Patriots got caught spying on their adversaries, now they've been tweaking the air-pressure of their game balls to sneak a ballistic handling advantage. Rules be damned, Patriot quarterback Tom Brady prefers his ordnance two pounds psi shy, hollow-points --if you will-- which are also against regulation. For how long have the Patriots been manipulating advantages? And how else? They weren't satisfied with the home field advantage on Sunday. Maybe officials should bring protractors to investigate the Boston gridiron. A level playing field doesn't likely suit the Patriots either. 41721

Super Bowl 2013 commemorates American warrior culture minus wounded vets

TV NATION- Can Americans no longer embarrass themselves? This year's pregame holiday extended to Super Bowl Eve with an un-ironic commemoration ceremony, an all-star gala tribute to football, acclaiming it a venerated touchstone of the American character, the public mob like drunken monks feasting the humanitarian contributions of the Spanish Inquisition. Football celebrates America's cultural blood lust, a surrogate for our preemptive senseless war making, whose shared cartoon violence is expunged of its real antisocial inhumanity. Probably owing to this season's pre pregame homophobia scandal, where collegiate casualty Manti Teo showed signs of early onset Mohammed Ali's disease, fans learned about the concealed football side effect of compounded concussions, akin to IED survivors' collateral brain damage. Next we'll probably hear that footballers' home lives spread PTSD. As football injuries become more difficult to hide from battle-weary audiences, fans will be calling for more Kevlar and then of course commensurate armor piercing anti-Kevlar. I already think football offensive lines look spectacularly under equipped without drones. Or would that position be pretended to play defense?

Manti Te’o mistery phone paramour is a live person whose name is not Lennay Kekua. That is not the hoax

You'd think that Notre Dame linebacker Manti Te'o would be overjoyed to learn his internet girlfriend's death was a hoax, that the person with whom he spent days and nights on the phone is alive and well, even if her name isn't Lennay Kekua. If it's true the NFL hot-property had never met this posthumous paramour, but fell in love with her over the course of years on the phone, you'd think the bond would be super-ordinary and he'd be on the first plane to meet his miraculously restored Ophelia. The death "hoax" could have a fairytale ending! 38206

The Hail Mary pass still would need an Immaculate Reception.

So, in the spirit of Code Duello, trial by combat, Might Makes Right and all that stupid crap, what happens when Texas Christian U., Southern Methodist University, Brigham Young and Notre Dame square off in a four way winner take all? Will GOD Almighty choose the leaders of His Creation from a trial by combat amongst colleges representing the seminaries of American Christendom? Would He toss in a "ringer" like the New Orleans Saints? What if He uses the hole in the roof of the Cowboys Stadium to barf on "His" Team? Sound ridiculous? How much more so the notion that He really cares who wins a football game? Or that a victory on the battlefield of Real War means that your own country is far more righteous and beloved than The Other Side?

Update on the Vuvuzela ban in British Soccer

I mentioned the cheaply made plastic horns being banned on the ridiculous "public safety-homeland security" excuse that they could be a weapon. Now, I've a passing familiarity with weapons and the scars and record to prove it. If you could possibly use a vuvuzela as a weapon, if you have that skill level, then you would do a far quicker job of it with your bare hands. I also mentioned that the Soccer Football clubs don't ban drunken rowdies, and the existence of beer so strong it's properly measured in "proof" the way distilled spirits would be, 40% alcohol = 80 proof. The usual strength of distilled spirits in the U.S. Anything over 100 proof, is considered "overproof". This is not from direct experience, I don't drink. I do have a steadily decreasing number of friends who do. One of the many Reaganite approved ways of offing yourself with a little help from the Corporate Empire. Like this example. 55% 110 Proof BEER. It's a microbrew, sure. Most English beer that's a mere 25% alcohol (they call American beer "piss") isn't micro-brew, it's commercial grade toxins. This stuff is called "The End of History", they made like 12 bottles for sale, at

Futbol or Football, it’s all about us

Americans already have a "football" and so come into conflict with a majority of the world when our television broadcasters have to say "soccer" and assuage the confusion of US viewers when confronted by everyone else's "football." And ironic too, the sportscasters like to explain, compounding their error, because it's about the foot and the ball, unlike domestic football which is about using your hands to carry an un-spherical bladder. But this humor presumes another American overreach: "Futbol" incorporates "foot" and "ball" only if you speak English. 19129

Tim Tebow here’s your sign

Football evangelist Tim Tebow is at it again, proselytizing with his sportsman mascara. This time it's Ephesians, something about how you're saved by your belief in Jesus, regardless your deeds. It's the same mentality that has Americans crusading against the Islamic world, desecrating humanity with an impunity sanctioned by blind faith. It's the same mindless arrogance that emboldens Brit Hume to call Tiger Woods to Christianity, whose American tradition has it that all your mother killing and father raping will be forgiven. In Hume's world, Tokyo Rose was tried for inciting war crimes. Hume doesn't recognize that he's guilty of worse. In Hume's Christianity, apparently only Buddhists reap what they sow. 13564

Race for the cure, race to the source

I'm seeing a sea of pink gloves as receivers and defensive backs vie for the long bomb; on the sidelines, pink shoes, pink caps, pink jerseys and pennants; on the players' helmets, pink ribbon decals next to the other patriotic flair. Have you seen the breast cancer awareness t-shirt which reads "Save the Ta-Tas?" When childbearing-age ta-tas are threatened, maybe American men will do more than commemorate cancer. Then we'll see pink smokestacks, pink chemical tankers, and pink mammogram machines. This industrial pink-wash is as unfunny as pinkeye.

White Flight from football to assault rifle

Ryan dons the rest of his gear in the car. Pads, armor, helmet, even mouth guard. I adjust the rearview mirror downward until I see his small frame in the backseat. We're only halfway to practice and he's already biting down, breathing through his nose, focused straight ahead. It's the same routine for football, except today he's got a lacrosse stick across his knees. In his grip, I should say. When we pull the car to the edge of the parking lot, he jumps and literally hits the ground running. From my height he gives me the sense I'm a helicopter pilot who's dropped soldier reinforcements to join the team on the pitch. There's a steep hillock between Ryan and the field, but his charge never slows, he ascends like a Cavalry of One, his stick brandished like an assault rifle. 3478

Is there a sumo in your future?

I used to avert my imagination on the subject of Sumo Wrestling. Probably I still do, visualization wise. But the bigger than grotesque spectacle has suddenly fascinated me, as a historic predecessor of the wide world of sport of our future. 6452

Veggie Love

"Veggie Love" Banned Super Bowl Ad ...Do vegetarians have better sex as PETA alleges, or in fact do beer guzzling Super Bowl fans have it more and better? Carrots versus Beer? Which is it? And youtube and the National Football League both want to know if you are mature enough to deal with this issue?

The Lysol toilet bowl game

You probably know that I'm a big sports fan. I grew up watching football with my dad and cut my teeth on the traditions, the rivalries, the pageantry of college football. Some of my fondest memories are of college bowl games that were played during the holiday season. Bowl games presented matchups that were not seen in the regular season. From the weary television console came team histories, funny mascots, famous coaches, bright college colors, and excited pennant-waving crowds. It seemed to me that life came to a halt while the entire world focused on football for a few days. 2379

Nike tags more advertizing surface

Oh my goodness look at the Swooshes TM! Nike strikes again with its branding of the Minnesota Vikings. How many not so subliminal Nike trademarks do you see in this picture? The Viking uniforms sport the same torso swoosh as the Broncos but there's more! Above the shoulders, behind the arms, and the refashioned horns. 2164

Nike swoosh the new uniform

My lover won't talk to me if I refer to the garments of professional athletes as "outfits." She doesn't appreciate "costumes" either. Both terms fit to me, considering the theatricality of the performances and outcomes, involving rivalries that could not matter less.   The new Bronco look is distinguished by a curvy flank stripe, designed by the uniform's manufacturer... NIKE! Bronco fans still argue it's not product placement of the trademark Nike Swoosh. That's a Bronco fan for you. 1787

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