Tree Killers, Rejoice!

Yes, in keeping with a made-up tradition that has NOTHING to do with Christ, wherein the Timber/Lumber companies can sell pines that are a) Too small to sell as construction material and b) grown using Public Funds on Public Lands, you can buy a permit for TWO Christmas trees per household. 2. As in, double the One tree that the made-up tradition prescribes.

The translation of O, Tannenbaum! calls it “Oh Christmas Trees” maybe? No? Or the family getting together to desecrate the Trees… or is it TREE?

Why two per household? Ah, that’s right, Profiteering. One for your household, one to re-sell to a hapless and not very observant neighbor, friend, relative or Rank Stranger off the internet, which will pay the gas money for your gas guzzler to go all the way up into the mountains and “hunt” trees, which will be tagged the same way a deer, elk or other forest creature would be when you KILL it.

You know, end its life. Here’s a better idea. Grow a Tree. Put lights on it. A pine tree grows enough to be visible from the street, especially if you put a light or two on it, in its first year.

Doesn’t even have to be a pine tree, or even an actual Tree, a bush or three would work as well. I mean, it’s a Made-Up Tradition, right? Made-Up traditions can be modified or abandoned at the whim of the users thereof.

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Brother Jonah

About Brother Jonah

Recovering Texan. Christian while and at the same time Anarchist. (like Tolstoy only without the beard, for now) Constantly on the lookout for things which have relevance to things I already know. Autistic. Proud to be Ex- air force. Out of the killing machine for 27 years 4 months and 5 days woohoo!
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