Leave the Rat Alone…

Ok, so it’s a groundhog. Not a Rat but still a rodent. So some are Freaking Out that their ridiculous ceremony of harrassing the little beast on one of the days he stirs from hibernation, comes out of the burrow to take a leak, stretch the ol’ legs a bit and head back in… has drawn criticism from PETA.
“How DARE those Socialist TERRORISTS say something against an AMERICAN tradition of harrassing some poor critter when he wakes up to use the restroom, even though it’s a bullshit tradition?”
What a bunch of reactionary crybabies. PETA happens to be spot-on with the criticism.
A few questions:

Did anybody stop to ASK the rat whether if it’s his alleged fear of his own shadow that makes him go back in his hole, or the crowd of very Large meat-eaters standing around waiting for him?

Remembering that groundhogs are Prey animals?
How would YOU feel if you wake up, go to the bathroom, and meet a large group of People?

Whether or not they appear, from your perspective, to be Cannibals who might kill and eat you.

If he doesn’t wake up on an arbitrarily assigned date, do they send in a search party?

Maybe a groundhog-sized tazer in his den to force him to wake up?

Why would a Creature of Nature be afraid of his shadow?
Is he afraid of his shadow on any OTHER day?

What about midway between Summer solstice and Autumnal equinox?

Would he wake up on August 5th, walk out, see his shadow and return to his den, would that mean 6 more weeks of Summer?
Hint: the answer is Yes. And it would be if it’s a cloudy day too.
What if next winter, while they’re gathering for the Annual Harrass the Rat Day, somebody comes up and starts telling the kids that rodents even in captivity don’t live 5 years so there’s a very real chance the “Pete” they saw last time is quite likely DEAD?
Why do they blame the Indians for White People Acting Dumb?
Our relatives who had calendars live down in the Tropics, where they don’t have groundhogs or for that matter Winter.
How would people who didn’t have a Calendar, much less a Roman Church Calendar, know or care about one particular day directly in the middle of winter?
And which tribe, exactly, do they blame for this Annual DumbAssery?
The measles and smallpox “gifts of Columbus” had killed off a frightening majority of the Northeast tribes far ahead of the European conque errr “Explorers” who brought them.
Does anybody mention THAT to the kids?
The question answers itself, really.

Hell no they don’t bother mentioning it.
I would bet they start telling the kids now that if they don’t be good then the PETA boogyman will get them.

God knows, the “liberal” Boogyman got their parents.

Brother Jonah

About Brother Jonah

Recovering Texan. Christian while and at the same time Anarchist. (like Tolstoy only without the beard, for now) Constantly on the lookout for things which have relevance to things I already know. Autistic. Proud to be Ex- air force. Out of the killing machine for 27 years 4 months and 5 days woohoo!
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2 Responses to Leave the Rat Alone…

  1. Avatar ohwilleke says:

    It is also one of the only pagan holidays widely celebrated without having been given a Christian gloss. Happy Midwinter’s Day.

  2. Avatar Brother Jonah says:

    I got the glorified Guinea Pigs name wrong, it’s “Phil” instead of “Pete”. Not that he would care. His name in his own language would consist of squeals and grunts, a good percentage of which would be outside the realm of normal human hearing.

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