You are here
Home > Perspective >

Hummer DEAD! “Proud Conservative” driving the Ultimate Welfare Cadillac

Yep, the gas guzzling (6 miles to the gallon) Replacement Penis is no longer being manufactured! Marketed to people who feel cheated, abused, picked upon, bullied, IMPOTENT, ridiculed… “Pay $50,000 (base price) for our Worthless Piece of Shit and Become An Instant Bad-Ass, who people will look up to, people will respect you and stop making fun of you just because you’re a Pathetic Wimp!”

Actually, what it does is make you a Pathetic Wimp with a lot less money… $50,000 (base price)

And people STILL don’t worship you or think that you’re a “swords” man. You might as well buy a tee-shirt for a couple of dollars and a sharpie pen and write

“I have a tiny Penis and a persecution complex”

and save yourself $49,997 dollars.

And people won’t disrespect you any more or less than if you blow all that bread for stupidity.

American Soldiers and Iraqi and Afghan civilians are DYING for the gas pumped into these Waste Machines.

And, there’s this really retarded bumper sticker people put on them, several in fact, “support the troops” (by having them kill and be killed to fill my gas tank) “God Bless America” (even though the American Regime sends soldiers to kill and be killed to fill my tank of gas) and

Proud Conservative

(even though I waste huge amounts of oil, formerly breathable air and drinkable water, blood and the HUGE amounts of money necessary to finance Filling My Gas Tank {so I can pretend I have a normal sized penis})

The Corporate Welfare Queens who drive these things not only get their Gasoline Fix subsidized by Taxpayer Financed Wars of Conquest, they also get a Tax Deduction for their gas, maintenance and even in some cases get their “work vehicle” payments… Paid in full with Taxpayer money.

Then drive them to “conservative” Tea Party rallies. Where they can find the ONLY group in America stupid enough to actually be impressed with how Macho their car pretends to be.

Brother Jonah
Brother Jonah
Recovering Texan. Christian while and at the same time Anarchist. (like Tolstoy only without the beard, for now) Constantly on the lookout for things which have relevance to things I already know. Autistic. Proud to be Ex- air force. Out of the killing machine for 27 years 4 months and 5 days woohoo!

2 thoughts on “Hummer DEAD! “Proud Conservative” driving the Ultimate Welfare Cadillac

  1. Hmmm… Hummers don’t always mean a small piece or a lack of self confidence. They do however waste a lot of gas and money on a symbol of status that few respect. Actually, most people only envy hummer drivers because they simply have enough money to buy a hummer. It’s not even the car itself!

    My 16 year old cousin was given a hummer for Christmas. I really don’t think it was necesary.

  2. 3 years ago somebody was trying to trade one and a couple thousand dollars for a Subaru wagon.

    Were you stateside then? They had an ad campaign didn’t last losg, one of the ads was a lady and her young kid getting pushed around on the playground, Until She Bought One. And a guy buying tofu and health food at the grocery store and this guy behind him with a basketful of steaks smirking, Until He Bought one.

    They were blatantly selling them on the basis of a feeling of helplessness. My nephew keeps getting sent back over, started in communications but now he’s a greenie-beanie.

    Hasn’t been deployed to AfPak yet but that’s coming. It’s not like the war’s going to end before he gets his chance.

    His mom, ex-Air Force, and really far far to the Right of me… has a shit-fit when she sees those things. SUVs with one occupant too. Add in a “support the troops” bumper sticker and it’s a perfect storm. Not just because her son is fixin’ to be mixed into it.

    It’s because she sees it as being an in-your-face insult, a luxury that’s tax supported and financed by blood. I don’t know for sure if she has any feelings for Iraqis and Afghans as PEOPLE, but she does for “our” soldiers.

    I see the Mark of Cain on all of it, every day I make less and less distinction between “us” and “them”.

    You know what the goofiest part of it is? The ones who make money from your blood and Iraqi blood and Afghani blood, they don’t do it from hate.

    They will, however, incite inflame and indefinitely prolong that hate in everybody they can, because they profit from it.

    They don’t make any differentiation in their minds of who gets killed either, Afghan or American or any other person on Earth. They get their money, they’re “happy” or as close as you can get to happy when you’re under the money spell.

    They guarantee that they’ll not be thrown into the meat-grinder too. Bush’s daughters and Cheney’s didn’t go to the war. Like fathers like daughters.

    By the way, no, I don’t respect them on any count, ever. They’ll sell us Death, with no remorse. If they had remorse they might stop doing it.

    Instead they don’t do a very good job disguising their pleasure at it. Most times it seems like they don’t try.

Leave a Reply

Top