Fairy Tales and Other Capitalisms

First story on the Post Financial section, tooth fairy leaving less money. Average payout less than three bucks per tooth. Get it? “buck” and “teeth”? I slay me. More kids getting $0.00, 10%, just a tragic footnote to an otherwise fucked up story. Some Kids getting $5 a piece And Gift Cards. WTF? Kid already knows how to use a Gift Card and you still insist on telling him/her about a tooth fairy?

Never mind the long term psych management you’ll be paying out.

And the kids DO tell each other how much the get / WAY TO GO!!

There exists a web page www.therealtoothfairies.com that offers advice on how to tell your kids why their school friends get more bread for the same product. My suggestion is to tell the kid “Tooth Fairy ain’t real, here’s a couple bucks, you can keep the tooth.”

Don’t spend five years teaching your kid that Rich Kids are more valuable than Poor Kids.

“Ye shall know the tooth, and the tooth shall set you free.”

The Truth, obviously, is a luxury only the Poor can afford.

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Brother Jonah

About Brother Jonah

Recovering Texan. Christian while and at the same time Anarchist. (like Tolstoy only without the beard, for now) Constantly on the lookout for things which have relevance to things I already know. Autistic. Proud to be Ex- air force. Out of the killing machine for 27 years 4 months and 5 days woohoo!
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1 Response to Fairy Tales and Other Capitalisms

  1. Avatar Marie says:

    Love this, Jonah! I never did know how to handle the tooth thing …

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