Tom Jefferson, Founding Father and Serial Rapist

Hu-wi. That’s Cherokee for “hu-wi”. The Silly Season is on us.  Every election year we get bombarded (“we” defined as anybody trying to get information to process and mold our separate opinions) by something called The Expressed Original Intent of The Founding Fathers, with both the Founding Fathers and any coherent shared-by-all-or-even-most Americans beliefs at the time of the revolution being as elusive as the majick unicorn who bears the faerie who guards the Holy Grail. And almost as easy to catch.          One opinion artist put the number of F.F. persons as 3 (THREE) being Ben Franklin, G. Washington and T. Jefferson. Out of the 4 million humans counted in the first U.S. Census. Three. Two of whom were slaveowners. Franklin didn’t have slaves, Washington didn’t write in his diary every or any instance of screwing his slaves but Jefferson did, at least on one particular victim. The “serial” part is the long term multiple times the self-made bastard abused one victim in particular, Sally Hemings, aged 14 at the time of the first assault. He would have gotten a life sentence for it today. This muddies the pool of Founding Fathers and the interpretation of just any of the Divine Precepts by which, according to some, every act of the US and state governments must be measured.       In shorter terms, bullshit.

A great steaming pile equal to or greater  than =/> the annual output of the Great State of Texas. For all or even any of the Original Intents of the Foun… eh, whatever to be relevant or even known or opined by modern Americans, every psychic wannabee in the world would have to (coordinated with all the others) hold daily seance sessions.

Which would be a more productive use of their time than the usual activities.

Recap: Slavery being a hot issue at the time with more than any two or even few interpretations of what constitutes slavery being as elusive as the Majick Unicorn and all the rest of my snarky first paragraph, and that only one issue on which the so-called founding fathers violently disagreed.  See Alexander Hamilton and Aaron Burr Duel on wiki or google. I’m not going to make a link on that. Except for a mental link, free for the taking by any and all.

You’re welcome.

To finish out the beginnings of that paragraph, slavery was just one of the Original Intent bullshit questions we’re supposed to answer by just grabbing the answer out of the æphemera or maybe just your momma’s rectal orifice, voting rights, (originally denied to 90% of Americans at the time), conscription, definition of Common Defense, public welfare, citizenship issues great and small…

And we’re supposed to make election of quote “our” quote “leaders” based on that. Aaron Burr and Jefferson would be in prison for life if they were majickly reincarnated and pulled their bullshit crimes today. And that’s just the start.

Another number, contested of course, approximately 80,000 free white Militia and Continental Army at the most At One Time in the revolution, 20 thousand mercenaries fighting for the US, 25K privateers (pirates and other outlaws just doin’ their little ol’ thang, meaning murder and robbery, baptized by War as being legitimate) on the American side. The British and their allies were outnumbered. And that will be rightly challenged. However, before barking, please consider that no pinpoint accuracy exists as to numbers. There’s not even a consensus as to the vast number of Amateur Historians doing the counting. You’re on your own, kid. The estimate of casualties is that more American soldiers died of disease and malnutrition than by bullets, sword, cannon or rope.

In the immortal words of K-TEL marketing, Now How Much Would You Pay? But Wait, THERE”S MORE.  More than I’m going to put into this treatise.

Again, you’re welcome. History is so blatantly arbitrary and the individual historians, those with doctorates as well as the dufus on the next barstool, will never agree on each and every point. Please consider that the next time you feel like spouting out the OPINION that another Historian, like for instance in the Ward Churchill controversy, should be hanged for not agreeing with your OPINION.

or when some politico tells you that the ghost of Jefferson told him to tell you (in a dream of course) to vote for his agenda… just before he got back onto the Majick Unicorn and rode away into the mist. You can ponder how this effects the War Agenda and the decisions on who must die. On a daily basis.

And don’t go raping your slaves. It just ain’t cool, yo.