Tag Archives: Retardican Party

Problems Per Perry’s Precipitation Petition? Perhaps…

There’s a failsafe in the rainmaker/faith healer scam that lets the thief off the ol’ hook so that either way he gets paid. If the sufferer is healed, even if say, he was “laid hands on” on the 6th day of a 7 day cold and was much better the next day, like that, then the scamster wins. Takes the money and splits. If the sufferer dies, or just doesn’t get better, the sufferer himself is to blame for not having enough faith. Scamster still gets paid.
Same with the rainmaking game, you get paid if you “make” rain or if the “doubters in the audience prevented it”.
So what happens when you get more than you expected? There’s a pretty widespread tropical storm in the Gulf right now, hitting Lousy Anna with a projected two feet of rainfall. All the low pressure is drawing high pressure down from the north and west in a pretty snappy cold front. At noon Dallas time the temperature was 86. That’s a full 20 degrees lower than they were getting all summer. All measurements non-metric, though, because Americans have sabotaged the Public Education in many ways including rejection of the Metric System as being “socialism”. They still depend on it without once knowing what the freak they’re using to keep their cars running, their computers computing, their phones phoning, even the barbecue grills are designed by people using Metric then converting back to SAE.
But the cooler weather and even, dare I say RAIN, while good for Texas and Texans, doesn’t match the exact specifications Perry’s preposterous pirate partners proposed.
Seems that God, in answering the prayers literally, has effectively shut down 60% of the petroleum extraction operations in the Gulf. How? By causing worries that Katrina might repeat. It wasn’t the hurricane which did the worst damage, it was (at the time) 25 YEARS of Republican neglect of the levees which collapsed under the extra weight from the extra water.
Seems the oil “recovery” (as though Exxon-Mobil, BP, Shell, Texaco etc merely misplaced the oil under the ocean the way they misplaced “THEIR” oil under the sands of Iraq)

requires on-shore coordination that, withdrawn in an evacuation, cuts production more drastically than any moratorium could have. So what are the Lying Thief Bastards at the “Americans For Prosperity” going to blame the next gas price spike on? They’re making a pretense of piety so they can’t very well blame God.
Are they going to say that President Obama has full control over the weather? If he were that powerful, and unstoppable, how could they really rally votes and most important (they are thieves, remember) donations for their cause?

They can’t blame SUVs and other luxury “status symbols” for people who have no Status and Penis Extensions for people who have tiny di…..

No, they have to blame somebody who isn’t putting money in their greedy bloody hands.
One person in a car made for eight, multiplied millions of times every day, that couldn’t possibly upset the ol’ Supply and Demand equation they taught me in third grade to explain Capitalism. People using more oil than we have or ever will? Impossible, and to suggest so it’s “CRAZY” socialism.
GoodHair needs to step in front of a runaway train, for the blessing and benefit of the entire world.

A real sacrifice made by somebody who has more reason than anybody to atone. His blasphemous rejection of the conditions laid out in the Law of Moses, the responsibility to tell truth for instance… that would be a start.
He’s perfectly willing to gloat and hog credit from God when his policies accidentally succeed, Let him hog the blame when his policies have destroyed his end of the Imperial Backwater that IS Texas and Louisiana.

Rick GoodHair, latest actor in the insane RNC puppet show

Aside from the constant pain in my destroyed feet ankle and left knee being a minute by minute reminder of the “Texas Miracle” economic program… There’s the fact that the Reddest of the Red States are net debtors to the Federal Government they claim to despise. Corporate Warfare Welfare being the worst offender but also the massive amount of people who are eligible for food stamps (such as it is) AFDC and utilities assistance even though they’re working two jobs at slave wages. Keep the workers broke, in debt, and if they’re broken on the job, like myself, we’re told that we should have squeezed insurance money and “down time” money out of the wage which isn’t enough to pay our bills.

The net effect is we’re paying the corporations for the privilege of being their slaves.

Then the stoopit bastard said, many times, that he could and would secede from the United States. Groovy, GoodHair, tres groovie. You can catch the bus to Guatemala or some other banana republic any time you want.

One thing, the three other times Texas actually seceded, 1821 from Spain, 1836 from Mexico and 1861 from the United States the cause was an exaggerated view of Property Rights, and the constitutional prohibition against removing (amongst other things) property without due process. Only the “property” they were talking about was owning the lives and labor of human beings.

Funny thing about that clause, so Noble a Cause when the Confederacy of Dunces pulled that shit…

Now, the PEOPLE they were so worried about no longer being allowed to unlawfully remove their liberty from said PEOPLE, without any more than a pretense of Due Process, before they were born and for the duration of their lives and their childrens lives, well, they’re no longer considered property.

If Ricky the Republitard actually wanted to take Texas out of the Union, it would have to be a UNANIMOUS vote by every person in the state.

To forcibly evict any dissidents from Texas would deprive them of their freedoms and their property without due process.

Gentlemen and Ladies of Colour in Texas are now the majority, and, it’s our family history, we know how “kindly” and with what measure of respect for their rights our ancestors were treated the last three secession sessions.

Maybe his retarded ass should go door-to-door in South Oak Cliff soliciting votes for his Return To The Glory of the (slave plantation) Old South campaign.

And of course kiss some huge military installations goodbye, which was his next trick to balance the Texas Budget. Fat chance.

So now he’s hoping to follow the footsteps of his Thief Mentor GWBush, go to Washing Tundy Sea in order to pull of similar robbery of the U.S. treasury. Why settle for comparatively Petty Theft crimes when they could go straight for the jugular?

But the fact that the Moron, along with similarly morally challenged freaks who make up the “leadership” pool of the RepubliKlan and TeaPotty candidates, actually has a chance of being offered up as a serious candidate for the office of the President of The United States, leads me to conclude that they’re a sideshow distraction.

In circus parlance, “Send in the clowns” meant they had to clean up a particularly untidy mess in one part of the show, so they would darken the area around the dead trapeze artists, or lions contentedly feasting on their suddenly former trainer, bring up the spotlight on another area of the floor and “send in the clowns” to divert attention.

There’s another saying, “I wouldn’t follow him into a whorehouse if he was paying”.

Such as any of the Morally Challenged Congenital Liars the RNC is trotting out as their candidate field.

Operation Chaos Backfired (also the TeaTard action in Wisconsin)

So, the DumFox leaders became so frightened of the hordes of non-white-anglo-saxons having the majority of the votes, if the representative districts were counted correctly, they thought of a brilliant (in their opinion) plan to skew the results of the census by getting the more ignorant of the White Anglo Saxon Protestant DumFox to boycott the Census, thereby giving them an excuse. Mind you, they’re still operating under the fiction that the Republican and Tea parties are somehow separate entities from each other and that NewsCorp is a separate entity from both. The most hard-core TeaBag morons know this, but prefer to lie about it.
Now, Bush’s anointed replacement as Governor of Texas, Tom DeLay and his ventriloquist dummy Rick GoodHair Perry, forced a redistricting 8 years early after the last census, to insure more Republican dominated districts. They did skew that census, really hard, by spreading a terroristic rumor in minority (but now combined MAJORITY) communities similar to the retarded ones they spread in the Redneck Hoam Skewl Ignorant communities with the current census. GoodHair and Co. ain’t barkin’ real loudly about redistricting almost a decade early this time. Instead, they’re going to make the motion that the Census be disregarded because they themselves broke it. Oh, yeah, that’s right, they’re still pretending that Fox News and Rush Limbaugh don’t actually work for them and Fox is saying they’re fair, balanced and have no agenda.

They’re using the same flawed interpretation of The Pottery Barn Rule “you broke it you bought it” that they used when they “suddenly realized” that their wars against the people of Iraq and Afghanistan were destroying their nations.
OOPSIE..

Problem with that is, the rule they cite isn’t “you broke it, you can now force other people to pay for it AND force them to pay to fix it and then you can have it for the small price of breaking it”.
With the Retardican “justices” on the Supreme Court, like Scalia and Clarence “uncle” Thomas, loyal like only really stupid people can be, subservient to the Korporate Klan Kartel, they might have a chance to get it “legally” approved.

But that assumes that the victims of their crimes, the American people, will tolerate it and meekly submit.
And the stupid bastards often make statements wondering why people would throw airplanes at their Temples to their god Mammon.
“Why don’t those peasants simply agree with our assessment of them as being Inferior Beings, and bow before our (non-elitist non-Racist) White Supremacy?”

Apparently, too, they couldn’t get enough TeaBags and other White Wing Freaks (but only in a non-racist non-elitist sense of White Supremacy)
to actually go and face the very angry Union workers who they’re trying to screw through legislation. Maybe they suddenly pulled their heads out of their collective Arse and realized that they miscalculated how far their Astroturf roots don’t really go.

Maybe DumFox News didn’t plan ahead and rent a fleet of Greyhounds to bus them in.
Or D) all of the above.

Birther Soldier contesting orders based on Stupidity

Army Doctor from Greeley Colorado is contesting his orders to Greater VietRaquiStan based on the Retarded conspiracy theory advanced by Fox news and everybody else who is upset that a Black man is president of the United States.
People who protested being sent into the meat-grinder based on the very real fact that Killing Babies and Other Humans is inherently immoral, no such media adulation. Gee, I wonder what makes the Kolorado Klan Kolonel so special? Couldn’t be any inherent racism among “conservatives” right?
Hey, I don’t have MY original birth certificate either. If the birthers wish to question MY citizenship they can goddamn do it at gunpoint.
…on their way to kissing my ass. They’d have to do it five or six on one, too, because that’s the level of their courage.
When they say they’re not Racists they lie. Seems they do a whole lot of lying. A characteristic trait of cowards.
They didn’t question McCain on the issue of HIS birth circumstances. McCain is obviously white.

But to concoct their corny conspiracy they would have to ignore their other Racist Anti-Immigrant rhetoric about how terrible it is that a (non-white) child born to an American Citizen is himself an American Citizen. They bitch whine and snivel about it so much, they even call it “Invasion in the womb”, they must either believe it’s Gospel Truth or they’re deliberate liars. Their leaders at Fox know the difference.
So why would an American seek to hide the circumstances of her American Citizen childs birth? There’s only 2 jobs in the entire United States government that demand you be born on American soil, and in 1961 NEITHER of those jobs were available to anybody “of color”. It was before the Civil Rights and Voting Rights Acts, which the Birthers (in a non-racist manner of course) also bitch whine and snivel about.
In every one of the states of the Former Confederacy and several other states “colored” people were restricted from voting by every unconstitutional means possible. The parents and grandparents of the BirtherTards were having episodes of hysteria because the recently inaugurated President was a Catholic.

In most of those states Momma Obama would have been prosecuted for “miscegenation”. But somehow in 1961 a plot was hatched to put a black man in the office of the President of the United States.

No Sale. The Klan and their related TeaBag and Minuteman sucks lose another one.