Is there an energy drink that’s safe or nutritious or worth drinking? A look at Lost, Bawls, Bing, Reed’s and Pimpjuice

 
Lost Energy, not found in Bawls, Petey's Bing, Reed's Elixir, or Pimp Juice
Short answer, not really. But we’re feeling left out of the excitement, even if it’s addled. Reed’s Natural Energy Elixir is probably the most interesting (sparkling filtered water, cane sugar, pineapple juice, honey, fresh ginger root, lemon juice, lime juice, green tea leaf, ginseng, goji, acai, camu camu, jiaogulan & L-theanine) but won’t deliver the jitters to suit energy drink junkies. It’s sort of like Herbal-X was to Ecstasy. Colorado local Petey’s Bing is a “natural” concoction with bing cherries, ginkgo biloba, ginseng, acai & flax seed extract (plus caffeine, taurine & guarana for the obligatory heart palpitations), but cuts its cane sugar with Sucralose to reduce the calories, so until they consider natural stevia, shelve Bing with Tab/Fresca. Pimpjuice has acai juice, grape extract, green tea extract, pomegranate juice, pear juice & yerba mate to supplement the usual suspect stimulants. The legendary Bawls ties with …Lost for best taste in popular polls. But doesn’t “Lost Energy” say it all? Our serotonin-leaking masses are being pitched caffeinated supplements to make up for what’s gone missing from their dead processed food.

2 thoughts on “Is there an energy drink that’s safe or nutritious or worth drinking? A look at Lost, Bawls, Bing, Reed’s and Pimpjuice

  1. AvatarEd Billings

    OK Eric, you’ve busted me I am guilty of drinking Energy Drinks like this upon occassion! You’re right Eric, I shouldn’t be doing that.

  2. Brother JonahBrother Jonah

    There’s my favorite name but wouldn’t drink it, “Venom”.
    Yes, friends, they make a drink with a synonym for “poison” and American people actually drink it.
    It’s a literacy problem as far as I can see.
    If people bothered to read the label, the big cans have something written on them to the effect that 1 serving is half a can. Not the whole can.

    We are SO conditioned. Which is a synonym itself, shortened from “Pavlovian Conditioning” and has us slobbering every time the Good Doctor rings that stupid bell.

    They don’t use words like “small” in labeling either, what used to be called “small” eggs are now labeled “medium”, medium has become “large” and large has become “extra large”.

    So, like, supersize me. Or something like that. There was a drink called “mello yello” but I haven’t actually seen it in a while. Guess words like calm and mellow and mild don’t grab the frontal lobe and hang on like an alligator.

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