A friend of mine asked on another forum what could possibly be done with the cannibalistic practices of Wall Street Speculators.

The answer is simple: make a meal of the issue.

When the airborne fecal material violently contacts the rotary air circulation device..

The dumb bunny speculators wouldn’t even be able to find their way to the Subway.

They’ll be wandering around lost for a couple of hours or more, desperately wondering where all the taxis have gone…

When they’re good and tired, the sun is setting and the streetlights aren’t coming back on, ever,…

That’s when The C.H.U.D. attack.

(Cannibalistic… Humanoid… Underground… Dwellers…

really sick flick and you would have to see it for yourself to understand.)

The stock thieves who had spent time working out at the gym, you know, Paying to work, because work keeps your body functioning.. and if they were serious about it, well, the meat will be pretty tough.

On the other hand, with fewer fat reserves, no insulating value besides their retarded looking Wall Street jackets, plus they don’t smoke and therefore won’t have matches or lighters, to light a campfire, and probably wouldn’t be able to figure out how a match works in the first place… they’ll weaken more quickly and start to succumb to the hypothermia.

The lazier, fatter ones would still have to be harvested fairly quickly, a couple of days of wandering and just not eating will run all the calories and other potential nutritional value off of them.

The dumbest and therefore easiest to harvest will be standing on the street corner waving their arms frantically trying to signal one of the non-existent Taxis.

Stealing a cab would be a quick way to harvest them.

The doors even lock when they get in. How perfect is that?

Some Tabasco sauce would be a wise investment …