I need help buying the Wachovia building downtown…

I’ve got like 50¢ American, a couple of 20 peso notes and a Canadian quarter, I need about a dollar more… If I wait until next week when CitiGroup goes under I can probably get it for standing outside singing until they flip the deed my way and of course the keys.

My plans for it are either to offer a free shelter, aka Flophouse, got the idea from the notion that their executives have already flopped there…

OR,

Turn it into a Capitalist Re-Education Center. I wouldn’t call it that, of course, I would simply put an advertisement in the Gag-zette, offering a Commissions Only job for Experienced Stockbrokers.

Then have the Keyboards on the computers hotwired, also the mouse, the coffee cups, the Executive Plush High Back Office Chairs with armrests and cupholders, so that every time they try to complete a trade on Short or on Margin or any other form of “hey, I ain’t got the bread to cover this byotch if it don’t pay off right, but I’m betting all my money and yours too on it paying off” bullshit…

They get a painful electric shock in randomized places, and subliminals on the screen telling them not to do it again.

Of course, so many of them are Masochists that they’ll get a freaky little thrill out of it, and ALL of them are so damned greedy they would last a couple weeks before figuring out that something isn’t quite normal…

Brother Jonah

About Brother Jonah

Recovering Texan. Christian while and at the same time Anarchist. (like Tolstoy only without the beard, for now) Constantly on the lookout for things which have relevance to things I already know. Autistic. Proud to be Ex- air force. Out of the killing machine for 27 years 4 months and 5 days woohoo!
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