The president’s alleged plain talk

With 935 instances of Bush Administration lies, documented by the Center for Public Integrity, you’d think the press could raise a little skepticism when officials make their pronouncements. Bush’s conspirators have lied about everything from 1 Pet Goat to Zyklon-B, isn’t it time, wouldn’t it be appropriate, to append “alleged” to every damn thing they say?

Detainees newly released from Guantanamo, complaining of their ill treatment, suffer their accusations being tempered with “alleged” simply because it’s their lone word against their torturers. Even after we have the tapes, the pictures and the testimonials, we have the nerve to disbelieve the victim.

Remember the fortune cookie exercise where you append “in bed” after each Confucius Say? Try putting “allegedly” after George W’s phrases. He gives you the time, between his five word utterances. While his ear piece is prompting the next line, you interject a qualifier and see how the pronouncements come across.

1 thought on “The president’s alleged plain talk

  1. Allegedly, there’s a $5 Trillion (Terabuck) deficit, when there was allegedly a projection, at the end of Bill Clinton’s presidency, of a 5 TeraBuck SURPLUS by this year.

    That’s a 10 TeraBuck difference.

    Allegedly, a mosquito weighs a tenth of a gram (even if it’s a hundredth of a gram, and the decimal point gets moved one place to the left, it wouldn’t make too much difference)

    A Trillion is a Million times a Million, a Million Squared.

    To count to a Trillion using a calculator, you need to first program the calculator to display 13 digits.
    Let’s use our calculator, now, shall we?

    and that mosquito, it’s important.

    A Trillion could also be a billion times 1,000.

    That’s a little easier.

    A kilogram = 1,000 grams or 10,000 mosquitoes.
    A metric Tonne = 1,000 Kilograms or ten million mosquitoes.
    One million tonnes = 1 Billion Kilograms
    Ten Million Tonnes = 10 billion Kilograms
    10 Billion Kilograms = 10 Trillion grams.
    which would be 100 Trillion Mosquitoes
    Still with me? good…

    divide each by 10, 1 billion Kilograms, 1 million tonnes = 10 trillion mosquitoes.

    That’s one fuckuvalotta mosquito meat there.

    Now, if you couldn’t possibly, you know, lose 10 trillion mosquitoes, because there would be a huge stinking rotting pile of them, how would one misplace $10,000,000,000,000?

    If you had that in the largest denomination of American Currency, the $100 bill, at a gram apiece, the resulting pile of money would weigh more than the white house.

    Oh, Mr Bush did cut a very important (for him) $10 million from the budget.

    It was a .gov website where you could look at federal spending, deficits and the general economic chaos that’s resulting.

    Allegedly, this saves money. Somehow.

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