The National Dumbshit List

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The 2004 election provided an invaluable opportunity to identify the Republican support base. Progressive grassroots organizations were able to record which houses in their neighborhoods put up Bush/Cheney lawn signs. AMERICANS FOR ACCOUNTABILITY has solicited those names and addresses to gather into a national list. This information comprises not just who voted for Bush, but who was enthusiastic about the idea. Thus the National Dumbshit List!


The National Dumbshit List will be used to raise funds for anti-Republican causes such as education, health and the environment. The list will be sold to telemarketers, lotto commissioners, real estate speculators, military recruiters and others who thrive on exploiting the less intelligent. The draft board for example is looking for gung-ho Republican families with teenagers, as they are running fresh out.

The yard sign locations will be cross-referenced with County Clerk records to reveal accurate property owner names. Residences valued at over $750,000 will be footnoted because their owners may not have acted against their own self-interests in supporting Bush. But if not necessarily dumb, those Republicans were certainly shits.

If you suspect you may be included in the latter group and you do not feel that your name belongs on the shit list, you may rehearse the case you will have to make with your maker. It is our sincere hope that you can be reconsidered to have been merely a dumbshit.

Wasn’t there a hayseed comic, darlings of Republicans, who used to ask “where’s your sign?” Thank you to all Republicans who came through.

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