Army men

Just following ordersYou might call it unfair to label those who go into the military as from the bottom of the barrel, but even at the top of the Pentagon’s barrel the mental qualifications appear pretty damn loose.
Our military’s options in Iraq have been summarized as this: go long, go big, or go home. Explained, these choices mean either decrease the troop levels and dig in for a protracted occupation, or increase US forces to attempt a definitive coup, or withdraw and bring the boys home. Defense Department heads are said to be favoring a combination of the three.

Sorry boys, for breakfast you get either Lucky Charms, oatmeal or donuts. Not all three.

Who else but the idiot at the back of the classroom could conceive of this synthesis: go big AND long, THEN you can go home? We’re not talking Gomer Pyle or Forrest Gump. We’re talking Larry’s brother Daryl and his other brother Daryl, awoken on the wrong side of the bed, armed, on Viagra. Keep those boys away from the heavy equipment!

Addendum: Am I saying that all Army men are idiots? Of course not. But let them come forward! All non-idiot soldiers please speak up about the war, refuse to fight it, show us what you’ve got upstairs.

Addendum 2: At the protest today, a middle aged gentleman drove by slowly with his window down, frowning and giving us a protracted thumbs down. I shouted from the side of my mouth so the others wouldn’t hear: “IDIOT!” He nearly leapt out of his expensive SUV to yell back to me “FUCK YOU!”

Does supporting the war in Iraq automatically make you an idiot? Damn straight. What a stupid question.

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Eric Verlo

About Eric Verlo

On sabbatical
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2 Responses to Army men

  1. Avatar Marie Walden says:

    Viagra. Lucky Charms. Oatmeal. Doughnuts. Maybe you’re kidding. Hard to tell.

  2. Avatar Tony says:

    That still leaves out bagels with cream cheese, toaster waffles with strawberries on top, and breakfast taquitos, of which there are more quite a few varieties.

    Iraq being what it is with America being what it is, what I think we will get is a pancake with too much cheap margarine and phoney maple syrup smothering it down below.

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