Just as you thought it couldn’t get any worse, NORAD is running a Department of ‘Homeland Security Studies’ over at UCCS (The University of Colorado at Colorado Springs). The Pentagon has begun its Minerva Consortium, a program to help the Pentagon destroy and bomb to oblivion all university level Social Science Departments around the country!
 
The Pentagon is out to nuke American academia! Run to the bomb shelters NOW, Graduate Students!

Can you see it now? The Department of General Pinochet International Studies Center? The General Francisco Franco Spanish Studies Department? The General MacArthur Asian Studies Department? I’m really looking for a very liberal university environment in the days ahead! Students will be demonstrating to get the military off campus Directly inside the class room soon. Professor, your class really is a Five Star failure.

I hear that Professor General Petraeus’s courses are really easy to pass, but Professor General Colin Towel will give it to you right up the Rear Admiral! What courses are you going to take, Dwight? This will open up more Academic General Gates!