It could have been Doctor Strangelove. The photograph I wish I had taken was of the Tom Warren, the representative of Fort Carson, assigned to ride over the public outcry about the Army’s plans to annex more land, Pinon Canyon and beyond, for a training ground eventually to extend over the entire corner of Southeast Colorado.

I’m left to describe the picture I wish I’d taken of Mr. Warren. Unbelievable. I sat in the front row of the Mesa Ridge High School auditorium last night as he paced back and forth spewing bureaucratic mumbo for the assembled concerned residents. He walked with a limp, and when his microphone boomed with feedback, he joked about it coming from the metal [inside his leg, presumably].

He stood over six feet tall, long hair, grey and black, brushed straight to his shoulders, full bangs, a large half-trimed beard, and large thick-lensed aviator glasses. The effect was that you couldn’t make out any exposed face. Had he been with black-ops and now fears being recognized? Was he in the Federal Witness Protection Plan? Had he suffered horrendous scars? Mr. Warren loomed larger in a blue blazer with padded shoulders, and lurched about in blue blue-jeans over what must have been motorcycle boots. Cowboy boots with reinforced steel toes perhaps.

I wondered, as Fort Carson’s PR person, to whom was he supposed to appeal? To the ranchers in their wide brimmed hats? To the hippy peaceniks? Mr. Warren didn’t behave like a soldier. He was more like the guy whose eye you didn’t want to catch at the bar. Scarry dude.

His mission, at last night’s meeting, seemed to be to ward off any protest about the future expansion plans. The Army is seeking approval of an expanded training range at Fort Carson and Pinon Canyon, but documents have been leaked showing the Defense Department’s ultimate aim. Most of the public wanted to argue against expansion in light of where it is leading.

Mr. Warren was attempting to preempt that discussion by clarrifying that the leaked plans were only at preliminary stages of approval. He spewed bureaucratic jargon, laughed at himself for being a bureaucrat, but kept right on spewing. He pointed to a slide showing the approval process, and that the matter on the table tonight, the permitted subject tonight, was at step five of the eight step process.

What Mr. Warren failed to point out, as he referenced the approval process diagram, was a fact apparent to everyone else in the auditorium. The current Army plans had been able to get to step five without public scrutiny. Admonishing us to stay off the subject of plans in the earlier stages is precisely how bad deeds are moved along by bureaucrats.