Lacrosse fought & equipped by warriors

Warrior Sports
Need another tipoff that the sport of lacrosse is early combat training? The leading equipment purveyor is Warrior Sports.

This photo was taken at the 2009 Jamboree in Denver Colorado, where teams of little white boys converged to declare state champions. The sea of white was interrupted by a single black team, a girls team, I conjecture because women’s lacrosse is played more like field hockey, necessitating much less protective gear. From sticks to heads, to helmet, to Kevlar, every element of Lacrosse gear had a starting price of $120, going up.

Schools don’t have budgets to support both football and lacrosse armature. Lacrosse leagues are sort of the charter schools of youth sports: only those with disposable incomes need apply. If African American youth dominate you school sport programs, why not take you Anglo-Saxon tykes to fields where they can dominate each other without a challenger’s interruption? But I digress.

Lacrosse is for tots who already harbor an innate itch to thrust handguns forward, but have to be taught that, in every useful gunfight save those of James Bond, standard issue is an assault rifle, which necessitates both hands, and best represented in early boot camp as its earliest belligerent incarnation: the stick.

Kids like lacrosse because they get to swing their sticks at others with wild abandon. It’s especially fun, I’m told, when you really hate your opponents.

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Eric Verlo

About Eric Verlo

On sabbatical
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3 Responses to Lacrosse fought & equipped by warriors

  1. Avatar surro says:

    before i start making comments on this site, and i’ve been wanting to for a very long time…, i must ask and must recieve in all seriousness a response to my question. Do you seriously think -and i don’t ask with any sarcasm or jest- that playing lacrosse is really some early boot camp, or made for children who just want to thrust forward hand guns?

  2. Eric Eric says:

    Clearly. Lacrosse is what archery was for the Welsh peasants needed as the King’s long-bowman in wartime. See my earlier post.

    Football inures young men to violence, and lacrosse adds a further element: it accustoms them to wield a weapon.

  3. Avatar copy cat says:

    i see nothing wrong with rough sports. I see nothing wrong with mutually agreed-upon aggression. I do see a problem with one collection of individuals using coercion to force others to think, or act in a certain way. The individuals engaged in these pastimes obviously enjoy the sport, of they would not play. I pass no judgment upon them , so long as they do not harm me.

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