MARADONA! has just given an autographed soccer jersey to the Iranian people, in care of their president Mahmud Ahmadinejad. The number ten shirt is inscribed: “With all my affection to Iranian people.” While Google News lists only FARS and AGI carrying the story, the Argentinian soccer legend has triangulated the axis of our empire’s last nemesis.

Call them SPECTRE, call them KAOS, or The Other Evil Empire, they’re the last rebel leaders defying our Death Star. In a ceremony with the Iranian ambassador to Argentina, Diego “Hand of God” Maradona explained: “I have already met Fidel, Chavez, now I just want to meet your president, Ahmadinejad.”