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Dear President Obama, your email MailMerge function needs tweaking

When a Codepink blogger offered her public reply to President Obama’s “This Fourth of July” email, I thought I’d poke my own fun at passages like “as America comes ever closer to achieving the perfect Union our founders dreamed.” But when I examined the email Obama sent me, that laugh line had been scrubbed. Did you know our personal notes from the president were indeed personal?

It surprises no one I’m sure, to imagine that mass emails would be personalized to address the recipient. “Dear Eric, how’s the weather in Colorado, etc.” It’s no great leap then to customize each theme according to subjects of concern to me more than others.

Obama knows apparently that I’m not likely to buy “today is a day to reflect on our independence, and the sacrifice of our troops standing in harms way to preserve and protect it.” In fact I do not give a rat’s ass for a single one of our soldiers standing in harm’s way. Although we have only guesstimated body counts to go on, obviously 99% of that harm flows the other way.

Soldiers who resist orders to keep heaping harm on innocents is who I care about.

Fighting for America’s freedom begins at home. Let any citizen try to petition his government for redress and he’ll see exactly whose side the soldiers are on.

My personal 4th of July email from the president does mention our soldiers and their sacrifice, but adds another emphasis:

That sacrifice is shared with husbands and wives, with sons and daughters, with fathers and mothers, who are asked to wait at home as their loved ones protect our nation. Their heroism, too, has helped pave the path of our freedom.

Now where did the White House Mail Merge function get its wires crossed on that one? If there are Americans about whom I care less than the GIs, it’s the parents who couldn’t give them better advice. Theirs was no heroism at all, it was go with the flow. Stuck hoping their child escapes unscathed is their just due. Mothers who raised their boy to be a soldier, did it for Charles Darwin.

Neither do I care to honor those military wives furiously praying for stateside widowhood and a $100,000 insurance payoff.

Clearly my Obama message was intended to inspire a flag-drapper. How many variation of the Obama 4th of July email do you suppose went around?

I hesitate to wonder what my personal email from Obama would look like if indeed he had my number. I am hoping to avoid “I’m Gonna Git You Sucka!”

18 thoughts on “Dear President Obama, your email MailMerge function needs tweaking

  1. How can you look at yourself in the mirror every morning? Your hypocrisy is amazing – enjoying a high standard of living in this country, making money selling t-shirts made by slave labor in Nicaragua, selling your faux activism by insulting citizens who ensure your right to free speech.

  2. Patch, we’d be enjoying a much higher standard of life if the Capitalist Overlords had, instead of foisting off on us such resource-intensive marketing scams as (subsidized) development of Oil and Coal technologies to the exclusion of all others, and of course the Amoral Murderous WARS that are “necessary” to support that kind of criminal misbehavior. You know, like the Current Wars that are benefiting the Very Richest Individuals on the face of the planet, and kicking the bottom from under OUR economy? The Working People, you remember us, don’t you? The ones who didn’t make vast fortunes from the Wars of Aggression that have benefited the Parasite Class, like Real Estate Brokers, Oil Tycoons and the manufacturers of Weapons Systems. Yeah, THESE workers.

    Not a lot of benefit to US from those Wars of Conquest. We get to pay the bills and the Beneficiaries get the goodies, in many cases absolutely Tax-Free like Exxon-Mobil did last year.

    While the Corporate Congress denied any assistance to those Americans who lost their jobs and their homes and what little health insurance they had to a Ponzi Scheme perpetrated by Real Estate Investors, coupled with the Banks, who sold mortgages to the Working Class, most of us had never held a Financial Instrument in our lives yet WE are somehow to blame because we didn’t read every line of the contract, while the Real Estate Brokers and the Bankers, knowing that these mortgages were doomed to fail, sold them as though they were real Cash.

    It’s called “derivatives” and I’m certain that an astute student of Capital such as yourself is familiar with it. You might even have made money off it.

    When Other, Not-Quite-As-Rich Criminals do that it’s called Fraud and the offenders, when caught, are imprisoned and fined.

    But the people who were victimized by this fraud, first by having a load of debt sold to them by your Capitalist Comrades, they don’t get any relief, and the Wall Street and Real Estate criminals DID. Oh, and the reason that this particular Ponzi Scheme did so much damage to the economy, the second prong of the fork on which we, the Workers, find ourselves, unlike your Friends and Heroes the Parasite Class, was that very War which you seem to believe benefits us with a “high standard of living”.

    Did Somebody say “Hypocrisy”?

    Say, patch, this is just a stray thought to the side, but since y’all Right Wingers like to say, you know, “eye for an eye” even though like in Afghanistan they’re taking hundreds of thousands of Human Lives (probably doesn’t bother you that a substantial percentage of them are CHILDREN so I won’t mention it) to avenge 3000 deaths that the American Government had a lot more to answer for than the Taliban do….

    But how about a REAL eye-for-an-eye, real proportional Justice, instead of taking a life for an eye or several thousand lives for a tooth… Like what you’re defending on the grounds that it makes YOU wealthy.

    How about, since it was Richard Cheney’s corporation that busted up my foot, with no compensation, why not allow me to take a sledgehammer to Cheney’s foot? Of course, to make it a TRUE eye-for-an-eye event I would have to have enormous power with the government so I could prevent HIM from getting any meaningful health care for 14 YEARS.

    Oh, and have the Republicans teach their kids to call him a “bum” for not being able to put money into their pockets. Like you teach YOUR kids.

    Just, you know, a stray thought to the side as it were.

  3. But, then, the War isn’t presenting US with a high standard of living, any more than the freshly enslaved nations of Afghanistan and Iraq. Just the Corporate Masters.

    The rest of get a rather low standard of dying.

  4. You enjoy a higher standard of living – even as your pathetic, self-loathing existence unfolds – than 99% of the people that have walked the face of this planet. You know it, and I know it. Stop whining about all your perceived injustices and actually do something… anything… productive. Run for office, vote for someone… do something…be part of the solution…. oh wait – I forgot…. it’s easier to cast stones than actually do something… rock on.

  5. “Do something”? Oh, but I DO. I remind Capitalists that the “workers Paradise” you portray America and American Capitalism to be ISN’T. When YOUR favorite capitalists, like Mr Cheney, break the workers the workers are then cast aside, and people like YOU cast stones against them. Remember your feeling of being personally insulted when we tried to stop your Capitalist steamrolling of the basic definition of People who happen to be homeless, stripping them of any rights or even definition of these PEOPLE as being human?

    YOU called (in a very whiny fashion) anybody who is unemployed and or Homeless for any reason Bums. I believe the term you used was “sinners” for being disabled and poor?
    YOU teach your nasty little Piglets to do the same thing. Talk about YOUR basic hypocrisy.

    YOUR Capitalist Wars For Profit, You LYING pukes call it War for Freedom? YOU were one of the Hypocritical Coward Bastards who had YOUR capitalist Lapdog Colorado Springs Gestapo Department attack Human Beings, YOUR fellow Americans, (whether YOU or YOUR Capitalist “heroes” acknowledge that fact, we ARE Americans) and YOU and YOUR so called Freedom Fighters who YOU demand we worship and be grateful to, for “giving us Freedom of Speech”, YOU as a group and as individuals sat on your hands while the C.S. PIG Department beat down elderly and disabled Americans.

    For using that “Free” speech YOU say the cops and soldiers and Other PIGS fought for, not even free in the monetary sense because there was a license fee involved, at the St Paddy’s Parade.

    People like (right wing freaks) YOU actually applauded and some of them even insisted that the PIGS should not stop at just depriving us of our right to free speech, but that we should be KILLED for daring to oppose YOUR so-called “free” government.

    YOU lie every time YOU say that YOU or YOUR soldiers or Cops or Other PIGS ever fought for Free Speech.

    The only Freedom of Speech we’ve had was freedom WE stood for, and YOU and YOUR cabal of PIGS stood against, and forcibly.

    YOU, Stephen, are a not only a Liar but you’re a boot-licking PIG suck. Slurp that Police Shoe Polish, boy! Slurp it down and ask for more.

    By the way, Stephen, I would say the same thing to you even if YOU were bold enough, and emotionally capable of trying to physically suppress MY freedom on your own.

    Even with YOUR soldiers, Cops and other PIGS backing YOU up on that, you wouldn’t. Because YOU are content to whine about people talking back to YOUR Fascist PIG cops and soldiers.

    Why don’t YOU, personally, take some kind of action about ME saying that, instead of, in the Perfect Republican Fashion, hiding behind your PIG “heroes”?

    You tell me how standing up to your Heavily Armed Uniformed Thugs isn’t doing anything, how about YOUR cowardly hiding behind them?

    What do they give you for your subservient attitude and words, Patch? Do they allow you to lick the blood off their jackboots when they Violently Suppress that “freedom of speech” YOU and your fellow bootlickers say they “gave” us?

    They “gave” YOU the freedom to agree with their actions at every turn, that’s the ONLY freedom I can see coming from your Capitalist Slavery System and their Wars of Conquest.

    Do YOU happen to own stock in Wackenhut? You know Wackenhut, right? Mercenary Private PIG Cops who run the county Slave Labor program you’re urging all the homeless PEOPLE, the “bums and sinners” be rounded up and forced to work for The Wackenhut Slave Labor Corporation? Yeah, THAT Wackenhut… Since you never once protested that particular aspect of your Capitalist Slave Labor System, instead praising the pigs and working for more ordinances to force more PEOPLE into slavery for the so-called “crime” and “sin” of poverty, I think it’s a very good chance that you DO own stock in their Rolling Slave Plantation.

    Meanwhile, standing against Pukes like you and your thug PIG enforcers, that IS doing something, something YOU would never consider doing, Stephen Patch.

    Taking a stand, in the face of a very real threat of Police Violence, violence instigated and urged by Pukes like YOU, Stephen. You know what I look like, Stephen, why don’t you come get in my face about what you consider to be “whining”?

    See if you’d do it without your Pigs protecting your Freedom To Comply With Their System. I don’t think you or any of the other Capitalist Pukes would do so, Stephen.

  6. Coincidentally, Patch, your lies about them “fighting to defend our freedom” are just one in a long series of LIES used to supposedly “justify” sending the Publicly Funded Army to foreign lands, lands where neither They nor You nor We collectively actually have any sovereignty, to take THEIR natural resources and KILL any of the peoples of those nations who object. Some of the wars, like the Corporation-instigated, U.S. State sponsored “revolutions” in just any of the Banana Republics surrounding Nicaragua, or Near Nicaragua, and Kyrgystan, and ____ fill in the blanks, trying to Publicly Fund a private takeover of Venezuela for the Same Purpose as taking over Iraq and soon, Iran…

    That purpose being the Corporations like Exxon-Mobil and BP claim ownership of every drop of oil on the planet… and the places that don’t have a lot of oil, like Costa Rica and Nicaragua and Grenada and Afghanistan, have geographic locations from which the United States Air Force, at the request of the Oil Corporations, (whose investors are common to every other corporation on earth) can strike down any Peasant Uprising against their Corporate Overlords.

    Patch, you pretend to be a Christian, and your political/slash/pseudo-religious stance sounds a whole lot like Dominionism, where you believe that the Rich somehow became rich through the blessings of God Almighty, instead of for instance Corporate Slavery where the workers can be broken then abandoned, like Cheney’s corporation did to me…. AND LITERALLY COUNTLESS OTHERS… the OTHERS who you are perfectly content to lump into the category of “whiners” if we don’t simply accept the judgment of YOUR corporate heroes and THEIR privately owned, Publicly Funded enforcers like the Police, courts and MILITARY…

    See, you don’t even have the cojones to speak against that From Within The System Which Owns You.

    You urge me to run for political office, yet YOU, who have the paid off ear of every literally Son of a Bitch on the Colorado Springs City Council, have done absolutely nothing to right any of those wrongs, or to oppose them.

    By the way, that’s how I know you’re a Rich Bitch, because the Corruption Springs City Council only listens to Rich Bitches.
    “Freedom of Speech” but only for those who have money and plenty of it. All others need not apply.

    The long series of LIES used to “justify” the Hostile Takeover of Afghanistan and Iraq and soon, if your corporate Whoremasters have their nasty way, Iran, Venezuela and Cuba, and North Korea, Syria, and any other state whose representatives defy the will of Your Corporate New World Order…. include “liberating the people” meaning, making the People “free” to work for YOUR slave-corporations either semi-willingly as wage slaves, or forced labor in the Wackenhut and Halliburton Concentration Camps, like the ones you’re advocating the homeless PEOPLE be placed into, right here in Colorado Springs. “Freedom of Speech” unless that speech involves telling their fellow Slaves that they actually have a right to own THEIR nation and THEIR resources, and to band together and demand at the very least Fair prices for THEIR labor and other resources.

    If they do that they’re labeled as “Terrorists” and placed in torture centers, all with your willing compliance and consent.

    Then there were the “weapons of mass destruction” which Tony Blair and Gordon Brown already not only admitted but BOASTED were a lie from the beginning. They also boasted that Freedom for the Iraqi and Afghan people isn’t a concern of theirs either, which puts the LIE to another of YOUR assertions, that your Army is defending the “freedom” of YOUR Corporate Subjects in Iraq and Afghanistan.

    Blair and Brown boasted that the real reason was they had to Remove Saddam Hussein, because he “defied their New World Order”. Which looks surprisingly like the Old World Order, where the Empire controls everything and everybody for the benefit of a select few.

    Very “Godly” men there, eh, Patch? Maranatha THAT, thou Hypocrite!

    And you’re in league with them and criticize US for not being in league with YOUR Satanic New World Order.

    What a piece of Cowardly Work you are.

  7. Correction of self… The Corruption Springs Shitty Council and their PIG minions do actually listen to poor people…
    IF the poor person is displaying a sufficient level of subservience, agreeing with the Rich Bitches in every word and if the C.S.S.C can use the subservience of the Poor Person as propaganda.

    “Look, not ALL poor people reject the Reign of Terror and Corporate Slavery we impose on them, some of them can be bought for a sandwich and will publicly lick our Pig Jackboots! Why oh why can the others not willingly accept our Mastery”?

    That would be called, in Ebonics, “sorry sell out boot-lickin’ uncle tom-ass white man’s House Negroes”

    Although it can be used effectively to describe any person of any skin tone who exhibits that level of subservience. Like the “pet homeless” people that Janis and Patch enlisted to run a counter-demonstration over the Camping Ordinance.

    Equally, it can be used to describe those Iraqi and Afghan people who willingly whore themselves, and sell out their entire nations, to the American and NATO Empire.

    Freedom of speech, as long as you say what the Government “authorities” tell you to say.

    “why not run for office?” Because government including ‘free’ elections are a Rich Bitch Playground. Poor people need not apply.

    but Judas, also called Iscariot, who was to betray Him, was angry, and said, “why was this ointment not sold for 300 pennies, (a years wages) and the money given to the poor?”
    This he said, not because he cared for the poor, but because he was a thief, and held the bag, and that which was placed therein

    Strange how so many of my fellow “Christians” forget that part and only quote the part where Jesus said “The poor ye will always have with thee”.

    Not strange, really, because in Rich Bitch propaganda that gives them a (albeit very abbreviated and out-of-context) justification to keep the poor in poverty through Publicly Funded Private Military and Police exploitation and repression of any attempts by the poor to rise above poverty.

  8. You will be judged for your actions… or lack thereof.. of that I am certain… go sell another t-shirt with Eric

  9. Yeah, you’ll be judged by YOUR actions, pig-lover.

    Like Direct Persecution of the poor. Playing an active hand in having American PEOPLE arrested for the so-called “crime” of not being Rich and Well Connected like YOU and the rest of the Smarmy, smug rich-Bitches who passed that ordinance.

    The ones who make money directly from War Industries, from the blood of CHILDREN shed in pursuit of YOUR corporate masters enslaving their nations and taking all the available resources from THEM and THEIR nation.

    YOU didn’t once stand against the Reagan-ordered SLAUGHTER, direct MURDER, of CHILDREN in Nicaragua, did you, puke-a-saurus Rex?

    Yet you hypocritically claim that you give three quarters of a damn about the poor, and you do it in Christ’s name, to try to wash the blood of those PEOPLE who YOU and other Smug Cowards have sent the U.S. Army to MURDER and rob.

    PEOPLE, Patch. Your Retarded assertion that this is somehow beneficial to every American is just another Putrid Lie told by the War-mongers and repeated by YOU. I wish I could say that you were somehow too stupid or ignorant to know better, but you’re not. That leaves only the guilt.

    And, from the way you keep pushing that tee-shirt angle, in lieu of any REAL accusation, or any REAL defense of YOUR actions and those of YOUR military and police, I’d say the complicity goes much deeper than sucking the tit of the Corporate Cow.

    Not reaping benefits Indirectly, but DIRECTLY.

    What’s your Portfolio like, Patch? Halliburton, GE, Blackwater, Wackenhut, Exxon, BP? Which so-called “defense” contractors do you get a dividend from every quarter?

    But you insist that it’s about “freedom” even when YOUR corporate masters have boastfully admitted otherwise. YOUR “freedom loving” Army are now prosecuting a soldier who came forward with the TRUTH about a mass-murder committed against CHILDREN in Afghanistan, and you still spew that crap about “freedom”. Are you a trained professional Liar or just a talented amateur?

    I’m not even going to invoke that “may God have mercy on your soul.”

  10. From the NMT website store:

    “Bright lime 100% cotton Beefy-Ts with white peace symbols printed on both front and back. Available in a ladys cut too. Buy through Paypal for US$19.95 each postage paid.”

    Made in Nicaragua, by workers making $200 a year…you, Marie and Eric should be ashamed to call yourselves activists… your actions speak volumes…your credibility is non-existent…

  11. Ah, still resentful that I refuse to bow to your masters. Or is it “Master”? and by that I don’t mean God.

    You lick enough Rich Bitch boots for both of us. I know from previous “conversations” that you feel the PIGS are right in arresting and then beating people who challenge your system, that people who “talk back” deserve anything that happens to them. Typical subservient attitude you got going there.

    What are you going to do about me saying it, Punk? Call your Pigs and tell them a “marxist” is talking naughtily about your common masters?

    I mean, you believe that people deserve to be beaten and arrested for doing exactly that, so you obviously don’t have feel any moral or legal obligations to allow actual Freedom of Speech. So I guess the real and only reason you’re not physically attacking us for “talking back” is that you’re just not brave enough.

    Your PIGS have done it without word one of reproach from you or any of your fellow Bootlickers. In fact, you’ve posted four times on this very subject that your Military and Police and other PIGS are actually “fighting for Freedom of Speech” and you refuse to acknowledge that neither you nor your PIGS actually tolerate such freedom of speech.

    Tell us, Patch, were YOU personally the one, or was it Janis? You know, which of you was the Pigsucking Bitch that called the PIGS on Rita when she was passing out fliers at the Soup Kitchen? You both applauded that action, like the good little fascist punks you truly are. What kind of “freedom of speech” were your Military, Police and Other Pigs fighting for in that incident, Patch?

    Freedom to say whatever your Pig Boss tells us we can say or must say?

  12. Truth be told, Rita has managed, on her own, due to her own behavior, to get herself banned from the Marion House property – so no one had to call anyone to get her evicted – once, again – for trespassing on private property… the same private property you rail about as being stolen… but wait, they’re helping the poor and down-trodden… but wait, they’re banning Rita… but wait, oh it’s getting too confusing…

    Go sell another t-shirt and exploit Nigaraguan workers…like the true Capitalists you and Eric have proven yourselves to be…

  13. So did you deliberately lie when you said the war was about “freedom of speech” or did you mistakenly slip up when you admitted it was a war-for-profit? Or was it D: All of the above?

    Mene, Mene, Tekel Upharsim.

    By the way, I stopped actually reading your crap before replying a few posts back. You slide into a rut, and don’t even try to get out of it.

    Happy Babykilling to you. Since you tend, along with your Army and Police, to hunt the physically or politically helpless. Your Freedom Fighting Army is prosecuting Specialist Manning and wanting to sentence him to 60 years in prison for telling the truth about the War. That would be, you know, publishing information about two separate incidents when the U.S. Military fired on Civilians, the second incident was 120 people and most of them children.

    Freedom of Whatever Speech Your Military deigns to allow us Peasants, right? That’s not freedom, that’s a slightly longer chain held by Uniformed Thugs who can tighten the chain at any time. With your full cooperation of course.

    You can sell that “freedom” crap to Yo Momma. She might be stupid enough to believe you.

  14. Wow…you are even more incoherent than usual… which is saying alot… is there any rhyme or reason for your RANdom uSE of CaPs?

  15. Awww… poor little Right Wingnut gets caught lying and says it’s “incoherent” to point out his lies.
    Freedom of speech, when and where? hmm?
    Even your little “oopsie” moment of saying that somehow we all as Americans benefit economically from the U.S. Military spending more money than we can ever repay to benefit a very few, very rich Corporate Citizens, who out of the goodness of their Invisible Hand actually (not really, but then, you don’t understand sarcasm, it’s “incoherent” to you) actually pay back in exactly what manner of taxes any of their ill-gotten blood money.

    The million dollars per year that it costs to keep each individual (redundant, man, that’s ReAllY InCOHerenT) soldier in Afghanistan or Iraq on the Baby-killing For Economic Gain Mission, could fund 20 real jobs in America, rebuilding our infrastructure.

    I suspect that the reason you find actually conservative thought to be “incoherent” is that you’re either really stupid or, more likely, depend for your livelihood on people blindly accepting your dogma. Kind of like a priest without any of, you know, the actually morally superior mission.

    I think that your blatant lies like “they’re fighting for your freedom” being challenged is what you find “incoherent”.
    AttACk sTylE instead of the actual substance. Hey, that’s a real winner of an argument you have there.
    I’ll capitalize, place in quotations, add an ellipsis…
    …on either end of a phrase, and deliberately use colloquial speech, colloquial spelling and colloquial punctuation, largely because Some People have a hard time understanding anything without the emphatic structuring of phrases.

    You might want to break out a dictionary, a thesaurus and a style manual to understand all that.
    Incidentally, Patch, the criticism of my writing style vis-a-vis (that’s French for “facing against face” literally, a drastic method of comparison) punctuation or Capitalization anomalies is not yours. It was plagiarized, probably in collusion with the original critic, c’est-a?

    I also get criticized for using “foreign” phrases in my text, as though English isn’t a foreign language (I’m learning Tsalagi, aka Cherokee, which ISN’T a foreign language, but that wouldn’t help you very much) and for some reason French phrases offend the right wing lunatic fringe more than any other.

    Maybe it was because the French government chose not to back George Bush and Tony Blair in their Invasion and Occupati oopsies I mean “Liberation” of Iraq. Based on much the same lies you keep spewing. Like “freedom of speech”.

    That’s what some of the Loser-Ass Redneck Warmongers in the crowd were chanting, sheep-like, from the safety of the crowd while your comrades in the C.S. Gestapo Department were assaulting us at the St. Paddy’s parade 3 years ago.

    “you fucking hippie freaks, don’t you know they’re fighting for your fucking freedom of speech? Operation Iraqi Freedom forever, you fucktards!

    So much for both the notion of “freedom of speech” and the notion that your pig buddies were attacking us over the use of the F word. But, sure, Patch, carry on with the lie that they’re fighting for our freedom or anybody else’s freedom “over there”.

    And mAKe DOubLe cERTaiN to attack style over substance.

    You might as well attack Moses or St Paul on that score, both of them stammered (something y’all pigs and pig sympathizers consider a sign of mental weakness) and Paul had a writing style that would drive you up the wall… if, that is, you took the time to actually read it. Check it out if you disbelieve me, or feel that such a defense of Substance over Style is somehow “incoherent”. Since you’re not the only one who reads this, (remember your friend who gave you the exact phrase about random capitalization? He has a blog associated with the Independent) perhaps you’d do the wise thing for a change and actually check out the Moses and Paul reference before denouncing me as “crazy” in any form for mentioning it.

    Moses had Aaron speak for him because he was “halt of speech” and Paul had Silas and Timothy speak for him, same reason.

    Guess that makes them “inferior” to you in logic, yes?

  16. BLah, blAH, bLaH… your verbose attempts to cloak your lack of logical thought, by peddling your pathetic lies, are transparent.

    Go sell another t-shirt, exploit a Nicaraguan worker and count your ill-gotten gains.

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