Taps for Larry Craig? Maybe not.

Officer Dave Karsnia
My 9-year-old twins learned about stereotypes in school last week. Ever eager to share social messages they receive while in the hands of the state, knowing that hours of rollicking fun will result, they vomited the latest rhetoric gleefully into my lap.

This is a picture of Dave Karsnia, the Minneapolis cop who took down Larry Craig. He received the Officer of the Year award in 2003 from none other than Dick Cheney, which somehow seems appropriate. Karsnia has, based on my limited exposure to all things gay, the look of a cute young, uh, gay guy. Without the adorable personality no doubt. I wonder what would’ve transpired if the officer had resembled Dennis Franz in NYPD Blue?

Why isn’t the gay community outraged that the state has hijacked its image and used it for nefarious purposes against them? Aren’t we shielded from self-incrimination by the Constitution? Perhaps the Constitution was what Larry Craig was reaching for on the floor of the bathroom stall. To wipe his lyin’ heinie. Thank god he didn’t flush. Whatever.

I actually wanted to post the transcript of a call made, before the big press conference announcing the intended resignation, by Craig to his attorney Billy Martin. Craig accidentally left the message on a complete stranger’s phone. Mother of God. If I were his wife I would be so pissed. Larry! Good Lord, pull your head out now and then!

“Yes, Billy, this is Larry Craig calling. You can reach me on my cell. Arlen Specter is now willing to come out in my defense, arguing that it appears by all that he knows that I have been railroaded and all that.

“Having all of that, we have reshaped my statement a little bit to say it is my intent to resign on Sept. 30. I think it is important for you to make as bold a statement as you are comfortable with this afternoon, and I would hope you could make it in front of the cameras.

“I think it would help drive the story that I’m willing to fight, that I’ve got quality people out there fighting in my defense, and that this thing could take a new turn or a new shape, it has that potential. Anyway, give me a buzz or give Mike a buzz on that. We’re headed to my press conference now. “Thank you. Bye.”

Go figure. I can’t imagine that Arlen Specter is supporting Larry Craig for altruistic reasons. It certainly can’t be indignation about civil liberties under fire, nor state-sponsored stereotyping. It must have something to do with partisan House politics. As usual. I’m sure we’ll find out soon enough.

5 thoughts on “Taps for Larry Craig? Maybe not.

  1. AvatarThe 13th

    Maybe Arlen wants to do a little soft shoe with Larry’s Crag.

    “You put your right leg in. You pull your right leg out…”

    Whatever the excuse for resigning or not, Craig obviously is keen on stalls. They say he’s hung like a, hors d’oeuvres anyone?, jury.

  2. AvatarTony Logan

    The fact is, Senator Larry Craig committed no real criminal violation. In fact, the police department did do so, though, and it should be denounced for trying to make criminal violators out of people doing nothing. This police department should be sued for violating people’s civil rights, and not in any way encouraged to continue its own current criminal practices.

    Our tax monies go towards this constant police nonsense of jailing and criminalizing people for victimless crimes. We have a huge national, state, and local bureaucracy who get their pay checks from daily humiliating and degrading innocent people. Our entire legal system is a total joke, a disgusting injustice, and an affront to all humanity. Larry Craig is a prominent supporter of keeping it just that way, too. One can’t really feel tears for such a PRICK. He needs to go, but this whole charade is disgusting. The police officer should be cited and dismissed from his job, as well as the Chief of Police.

  3. AvatarJacques Poirier

    I feel for that officer. At the Seminary of the Oblates of the Immaculate Conception back in 1954, I was just 11 and was chosen by my peers to visit each of the 26 priests and find out who was a pedophile…or I would get whipped silly. Since we had an oath of blood, I could not pull out of that secret mission. The score was 19 out of 26. The Seminary has been closed a few years later but guess what, I still got whipped by one of our gang, albeit for looking at him with contempt since he had guessed 10 out of 26. He was an ugly moron. His name, Pierre Sevigny I think. If you see him tell him he did not have the stuff to bring out the beast from those flowing black robes. I did.

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