Tag Archives: Gay

Two years ago they said the dude was murdered

To silence him, of course. Now the Murdoch-owned (maybe just affiliated) tabloid The Globe reports that “Obama’s gay lover tries to commit suicide”.
Call the Pope! it’s a Miracle! Man dead for two years tries to commit suicide!
Other headlines in this bizarre series, “Oprah Gay!” “Obama has affair with Oprah!”
“Michelle has affair with Oprah!”
“Michelle tells Oprah: Stay away from MY man!”

So, which is it, is he gay, his wife and Oprah also gay, are they straight, or what?
Why don’t they come out against his expansion of the Afghan and Iraqi and Libyan and Pakistan and insert_Target_Nation_Here war, or perhaps get on his case about repeatedly doing exactly what their bosses tell him to do, cave on Health Care, Cave on taxes, Cave on this Cave on that.
Dude has so many caves he ought to change his name to Carlsbad.
But they want to portray him to their Demented TeaBag Loser Shock-troops as being an unstoppable dictator, Antichrist, who they have to stop.

John Travolta caught cheating uh, fans

By all appearances, a traditional paparazzi scoop. Wanna bet Brand Travolta has calculated that being “unmasked as a cheating spouse” will be outweighed by positive inferences of the shifty Scientologist’s virility? The photo on the tabloid cover appears to have caught Travolta mid-tryst, half-toweled, before he could dress and flee. Except his hairpiece isn’t the least ruffled, and the headline implies that Travolta’s adulteress is a woman. Travolta being bald and gay must be taking a toll on the star’s billing. No doubt this product placement will play in Peoria where moviegoers haven’t read about Travolta’s refrigerated wig vault, or that Team Travolta has final approval over every photo shoot to certify that his fake hair passes muster, or his industry-celebrated status as alpha queen of the set. If Hollywood would stop behaving like there’s something wrong with that, there wouldn’t be anything wrong with that.

Gender Respect in Tabloids & Wrestling

So I figured a way to tie a few concepts into one on the subject of two headlines on Gossip Tabloids in the supermarket check-out lane. National Enquirer headline “Roy, of Siegfried and Roy caught on video soliciting GAY sex!” My out-loud reaction was “Oh My GOD! Siegfried and Roy are GAY? I haven’t been this disillusioned since I found out Pro Wrestling was Fixed!” The Enquirer and every other “news” pooper similar thereto, you see, have been publicizing the non-secret that they have a love-love thing going on. So what would be a more Man-bites-dog type of real shocker headline would be if Roy had solicited sex from a woman. I mean, they’ve been so far out of the closet that I doubt they could find the closet or maybe don’t even have one.

The next one is from a paper owned by a Far Right person who has an avowed hatred of Liberals, meaning everybody to the Left of Vlad the Impaler. “Obama dumps Oprah”, which shows their basic confusion.

Because they’ve been publishing crap like Obama GAY, Oprah GAY, Oprah having a marriage with TWO Gay Women and so forth and so on. They’re still pissed off that they couldn’t successfully sue her for Libel when she had a guest on her show who dared to mention the Dreaded Anti-Meat Industry “myth” about Mad Cow disease. How DARE those liberals have Free Speech! Don’t they know that Ronald McDonald fought and DIED for their Freedom? What a Ray Kroc of shit.

So which is it, is Obama GAY, is Oprah GAY, are either of them GAY, how did they find time to explore the Hetero side of life, when, where, who? They’re serving up a line of crap that’s been slurped down and more requested from people who have no IDEA of what it would feel like to actually think for themselves for a change.

All they have to do is mention the GAY word and the morons who buy into it will say “Obama teletubby. Teletubby GAY… All Obama Secret-Muslim Gay Liberal… think too hard, head hurt, must watch Fox… beeep beeep beeep”

Homophobes like the ones who watch Pro-Wrestling, enjoy seeing two large men simulating Man-Rape on each other and think it’s REAL. And also will strongly deny that it has any Homoerotic pornography working.

In other words, people who are easily confused.

They probably don’t have any idea that the entire mess is filled with contradiction.

“Gender Identity, what’s THAT? Gender Respect, say, isn’t that some of that P.C. crap Glenn Beck warned us not to listen to? PC GAY… PC Spongebob… must not think, think hurt head too much, must watch Fox beep beep beeeeeeeeeeep!

Queers Against Israeli Apartheid undaunted by Zionist intimidation

Organizers of the 2010 gay pride parade in Toronto have relented to allow the participation of QUEERS AGAINST ISRAELI APARTHEID. At first it was declared that the two words “Israeli Apartheid” would jeopardize their city subsidy and summon a perfect storm of angry Canadian Jews. Faced with queers determined to parade for their social cause in spite of the ban, Toronto Pride opted to honor their members’ freedom of expression.

Remember the horrendous scandal and the Media Blitz(es) That followed?

Mark Sanford, Governor of South Carolina… Used government money to finance Argentine Tryst. A full Seven Hours every day for a month analyzing the story and berating him…. woops didn’t happen… Sorry.

Senator Larry Craig, (R) Idaho (I da pimp! bad joke) practicing the unsafest of all Sex Acts, random anonymous sex, in a Mens Room at the Minneapolis Airport, Married, family man, cheating on his wife.

They followed him everywhere, then when he disappeared they staked out his boat, his house, his mom’s house and his kids school trying to get pictures of him… ooopsie… That didn’t happen either.

Bob Allen of Florida, State Representative, (R) in a men’s room repeatedly, so afraid of Black Dudes raping and robbing him that he followed them into the John and paid them 20 a piece to fellate them…
Married, Cheating on his wife…
When he went in to Sex Rehab the National Enquirer poked cameras into every opening in the fence looking to catch a picture of him. Nope, not that either…
My favorite, Vitter of Louisiana getting caught with his diapers down… He of “Family Values” and Unimpeachable Morals fame.
All of them, when they apologized, did so clearly, succinctly and humbly, then submitted themselves to the questions of the repor…

Wait a minute. None of them apologized, at all, ever. Since they were all members of the Bu’ush Regime and active supporters of the War Of Terror, their actions DID affect more than just their families and thus, they DID owe America an apology. Not merely for being Sexual Hypocrites, but for the God-Damn 8 year killing Spree “their” troops have been engaged in. That’s pretty damn major. All of them made a big hoo-hah over criminalizing Sex between Consenting Adults and de-criminalizing Hate Crimes. (not just the Hate Crimes against gay People either)

None of them bothered with Rehab, none of them hounded and their families hounded for what’s now 3 Freakin’ Months, mon… nothing at all like what a guy who plays the dorkiest game in existence for a living is subjected to.

People PAY the government officials for leadership and for being Role Models for their kids. It’s one of the Job REQUIREMENTS for Christ’s Sake.

But a guy who plays a game for a living, is really required to do nothing but smack a very small ball with a very crooked stick into a very small hole that’s anywhere between 75 and 200 yards away.

And do it consistently. It doesn’t matter if they have a messed up politicial, social or personal life. Some of the courses he plays on had never had a Black golfer in any of their tournaments EVER when he started. Some of them at the time still forbad blacks to actually play there, pay to play there, with no chance at winning money. So why the anger? Are they really such shitty parents that they need a middle aged black man who they’ve never met to be a Role Model for their piglets?

Since WHEN? Would they walk into the Midnight Rose or the Brass Ass (for our international audience, those are local casino establishments) and march up to the Penny Slots machines, demand that in order to win (more like, LOSE) money at the One Armed Bandit they first have to pledge to be Morally Superior, saints in fact, and to raise the children of Millions of really lazy parents who don’t have the skill or ambition to do it themselves?

Shit, they don’t even do it for Professional Leaders like Politicians and Preachers (I bet Haggard thought he was sliding on this score)

P.S. all of them, except the Golf Player, are back at their chosen professions. And probably their favorite hobbies. The only one else who had a serious chance of losing his career is the preacher.

Pride Fest a good place to avoid crackers

Pride FestCOLORADO SPRINGS-
Time for Pride Fest 2008, Sunday July 20 in Acacia Park. Its summer fair atmosphere is what Springs Spree used to be, reinforcing a fun, intimate sense of community. What’s Pride got that Springs Spree or Territory Days do not?
I have a theory. Homophobia.

It’s the same reason a gay bar has the best dance scene. Fewer idiots afraid of caching the gay bug. Bigotry, idiocy, poverty, obesity, fit a socio-economic profile that tends to be uneducated, uncultured and I’ll say it, lousy company. Homosexuality may cut across the same proportional demographic sample, but at least at the annual Pride Fest the conversationally-challenged are outnumbered by the heterosexual social-minded participants. My true colors.

Cuba is a gayer place today than it was yesterday

Such a repressive place, Cuba! Hateful and nasty communists run the island. They are hateful and nasty that is, unless you happen to be Gay! That’s right, Cuba is a gayer place today than it was yesterday.

And I’m hoping that John Weiss, publisher of The Colorado Springs Independent, will run a piece about how Gay Havana can be! What about it, John? The Castros are gayer than the Teletubbies are even! Gayer than the teachers of Harry Potter! Gayer than Ted Haggard! Yes ! Castro champions gay rights in Cuba Got to love it!

Coming out at the Manitou Carnivale

My favorite moment at this year’s Carnivale Parade in Manitou was a friend’s gay subversion of the spotlight. Did anyone get a picture?

We were watching the parade beside the flatbed truck upon which two radio jocks were announcing the entries. In between discussing their intentions to drink to excess, they’d describe each parade entry, egg on the participants, and whenever they deemed it appropriate, they’d suggest that ladies bare their breasts. The two seemed to think that the masked girls were supposed to both throw the beads and show their boobs instead of the reciprocal tat for tit.

The two hired jocks got plenty of beads thrown their way, and nothing more –it satisfies me to say– until my friend Larry came parading by.

Larry was not part of the parade, and was in fact walking the other direction along the sidewalk, but was showing off his Mardi Gras finery, a flowing silk cape decorated with a hand painted, life sized nude. It was a fully nude figure, androgynous from the backside, with long locks of hair and facial features in profile. The DJs may be forgiven, since they didn’t know Larry, nor had they maybe fully assessed his parading stride, for having mistaken all that skin for a woman’s. But they went on and on about “that’s what we’re talking about, hubba, hubba” etc, having Larry stop and pose repeatedly the better to acknowledge their construction worker catcalls.

Then one of the DJs thought to ask Larry to bend over, to which Larry obliged, and the bare backside bent with him, which left the DJ really pleased with himself. “I’ll bet you didn’t think of that” he chided Larry, as if the Jock had snuck an indiscretion past him. The crowd was presumed to be laughing along as Larry was being cuckolded by the clever jock’s too easy conquest of the “girl” on the cape. But Larry was eating it up.

Certain they could milk this for a bigger laugh, the DJs asked their mark to repeat his bow in the middle of the street and Larry ceremoniously complied. The figure on his back mooned us all, or beckoned us with its beguiling bare bottom, depending on how you saw it. Larry addressed all sides before standing erect, beaming. Read that as you will, it’s only conjecture. The Manitou crowd clapped and clapped, nothing lost on them. Then Larry gave us a wink before parading back whence he had come, all parties immensely pleased with the encounter.