Today, Barack Obama announced that he was changing the name of the US Department of Homeland Insecurity to the Department for Homeland Slaughters. The impetus for this initiative came about due to today’s terrorist weather alerting that Three police officers have just been killed by a gunman in Pittsburgh – the second mass shooting in the US in 24 hours.

In a related matter, Barack Obama says that he will increase the military and policing budgets yet more to help fund more breeding grounds for this All American violence. Thus the name of this Federal Agency, originally called the US Department of Homeland Stupidity, continues to devolve.