Inspired by Lance Armstrong confession, dope George W. Bush comes clean on Iraq WMDs


Lance Armstrong appeared on Oprah Winfrey’s Confessional TV franchise to admit he doped and lied. If Oprah polled her television audience for who should be next episode’s guest star, it might have to be Manti Te’o explaining that his dead fake internet girlfriend was a beard. Imagine the ratings if Oprah could book ex-dope-in-chief George W. Bush minus his minder Dick Cheney. Iraq’s fake WMDs would be the least of it.

Lance Armstrong setback for Team America, retroactive, so totally unfair


You can see why Lance Armstrong fans are upset. Even President Obama is satisfied not to look back, why should the sports-doping authority? Lance Armstrong beat their drug tests fair and square, what right have they to retest his blood and urine samples, based on the probable cause of mounting witness testimonies, and now that superior tests can detect his workarounds? IF Team America ever cheated, it was fair and square. All our ducks in a row. If US proof of Saddam Hussein’s Weapons of Mass Destruction turned out to be fabricated, it was fabricated to the standards required by veracity tests of the time. No fair revisiting spilt lives. If Barack Obama took the USADA’s lead, he could rid American politics of all the Neocon cheats who still dominate the airwaves today. If Obama wanted to get lying, cheating, or taking unfair advantage out of the system. But breaking the rules, international law for example, the disproportionate use of force being a cherished national specialty, is the American Way.

The emperor has no clothes goddamnit

Lance Armstrong rides with Bush

In Hans Christian Andersen’s THE EMPEROR’S NEW CLOTHES, a little boy is finally able to say what no one else would: the emperor had no clothes! The key element which Andersen left out of the fable was this: access!

Everywhere you turn today you can find people frothing at the mouth for the chance to say “the president has no clothes!” But no one can hear it. Television reporters can look at you with a cynical smile, even offer their agreement, but the message goes no further than their camera lens.

People with access to those in power don’t seem up to making a peep. What about their friends? Doesn’t anyone chide whoever is above them on the food chain for not stating the obvious? What do White House minions say to their relatives over the holidays? Do they fear something from speaking out about which we don’t?

Would a danger to their persons or livelihood be relevant? Many of those people are our elected representatives. Wouldn’t it be their job to cry out? And what about our cultural heroes? They owe their popularity to the largess of the people. Where are they to speak out?

Lance Armstrong can beat seven seasons of Frenchmen, he can beat cancer, but he doesn’t dare face off our little emperor in his skivvies?

Not a peep from Bono

This president has no clothes! Before we get caught up arguing with those who would take the accusation literally, let’s say that by no clothes we mean no brain, and he absolutely has no heart. Both of these observations are unimpeachable. We see it everyday on TV. The president is a moron. And we see what he is doing. Heartless.

Or do you stand among those in Andersen’s fable who would have said “nonsense, little boy, your heart is simply not pure enough for you to be able to see his clothes.” Any child reading along with you would put you in your place. Unless he was resigned already that you were deceiving him for some reason, he’d call you a fool.

And he’d be right, because this emperor does not have a stitch of anything on!

I have nothing against naked loony psychopaths, but it’s fairly accepted that they are best kept in institutions where they will not harm the rest of us. Those who would prop a rampaging mentally disabled lunatic into the president’s office, declining to comment on his quite visible impairments, instead declaring him “the best man for the job” so they might continue to line their own pockets, those people must be put into prison.

This emperor’s courtiers: the influence peddlers, opportunists, crooks and stooges are the true danger. They maintain the barricade over which the little boy’s voice cannot be heard.

But on our side of the barricade, in the free speech zone, we hear him.