Inspired by Lance Armstrong confession, dope George W. Bush comes clean on Iraq WMDs


Lance Armstrong appeared on Oprah Winfrey’s Confessional TV franchise to admit he doped and lied. If Oprah polled her television audience for who should be next episode’s guest star, it might have to be Manti Te’o explaining that his dead fake internet girlfriend was a beard. Imagine the ratings if Oprah could book ex-dope-in-chief George W. Bush minus his minder Dick Cheney. Iraq’s fake WMDs would be the least of it.

Case of curious cellphone, bandana and Greyson Chance’s perfect microphone

Oprah Winfrey records own show on cellphonePT Barnum would have been a terror on Youtube –I’m certainly sobered to see what fools America every time. Is sudden-tween-throb Greyson Chance’s talent for real? Too soon to say. But the 6th grade sound man at Cheyenne School of Edmond, Oklahoma has unlikely genius. * What’s hard to believe about doctors bandaging Bret Michaels’ massive brain hemorrhage with his signature headband? * And my favorite, Oprah Winfrey recording a show performance with her cellphone to attest to her surprise at “the coolest thing ever!”

Oprah
It happened ages ago (in blog-years) but television talk shows bind these three example together. Do you remember Oprah’s anniversary whatsit, taped like a big tailgate party in downtown Chicago? Oprah stood there on the outdoor stage beside the Black Eyed Peas and held her cellphone up, aimed at the audience, as if the dozen or more cameras on cranes, wires and rails weren’t going to be enough. And the crowd erupted in spontaneous dance, although it was choreographed, and a concept swiped from a European video. But Oprah’s deal went viral because, OMG would you believe it, and there was Oprah, OMG’ding herself, careful to record it to show her friends in case they wouldn’t have believe her, or watched the show.

Now how many of you believe the media diva even has her own phone, much less carries it or knows how it works?

Watching the video again, an establishing shot before the music begins shows someone in the audience (who later would turn out to be a dancer) aiming their cellphone like a camera, in case the audience at home needed a reminder that’s what normal people do today, and that’s what Oprah would be doing, to confound your awe with hers. Compound.

After the video had done its viral thing, Oprah had all the crowdsourced uploads removed, being unlicensed and all. I think it was really because her feigned incredulity wasn’t going to pass muster. Better a memory gone viral than video evidence of Oprah taking her viewers for fools.

Bret
Bret Michael’s blue bandana as he reclined on the hospital bed on the cover of People Magazine was just too silly for words. No doubt America wouldn’t know him without his bandana wig, so it was definitely an art director’s call.

Alright, it wasn’t a video, but the internet rumors went viral. Fans started to twitter about an oddly fortuitous recovery which put him back on the Celebrity Apprentice season finale, so now poor Bret is back in the hospital to prove it wasn’t a PR stunt, this time for a hole-in-the-heart, probably something to do with a tatoo, in any case nothing to interfere with his headband.

Chance Michael Grayson plays Cheyenne School 6th Grade show at Edmond, OklahomaGreyson
Brand-spanking-fresh-phenom Greyson Michael Chance wowed everyone on Youtube, and Ellen’s people, reportedly before his views had even hit five-digits –are talent scouts that grassroots? He encored with the same brilliant performance on her show, thus certifying his authentic talent, based on the law that lightening can’t be fixed twice. Although the equalizer setting, for lack of a technical term, was remarkably identical, wasn’t it? Same tweaked toning, same very attentive fader, especially if it wasn’t the same microphone.

Seriously, SNL, of the notoriously bad music soundboard, should hire whoever miked that primary school performance.

On the subject of expensive equipment, how often do you see a shiny grand piano at a public school choir concert?

Although the camera work was shaky, the cameraman kept an interesting crop on Greyson, framed by the waiting choir girls. It reminded me of the soldier backdrop they used to give President Bush. Authenticity came of the development that none of the girls were compelled to look too interested, I’m guessing that was sheer fortuity. The result was that Young Mr. Chance was strangely placed off-center, the better to feature the girls. An actual parent would have framed their son to show his feet at the pedals, I guarantee you.

The close crop remained even as Greyson finished and the school emcee offered her remarks, her head off camera. The lens never zoomed, fitting for a digital still camera which cannot zoom in video mode, or because appearances of homemade authenticity be damned, broadcast editors will not abide zoom.

But Greyson gave the game away when he took his bow, aimed not at the audience, but directly at the camera. You’d figure he already had countless home recordings of his Lady Gaga cover, both practice and dinner guest performances. On this stage the camerawork was let to look improvised, like a parent’s afterthought, while Cherub Gaga sang the performance straight ahead, in the same direction to which the emcee addressed the audience. So to whom was Mr. Chance taking his bow?

Ted Haggard is less shifty than New Life Church

COLORADO SPRINGS- Ted Haggard’s inconvenient sex life surfaces again! And this time the scandal is all New Life’s. Ted Haggard’s PR talk show onslaught to remake his image has prompted an altar boy to go public. But it seems this violates an agreement the young man made with New Life in the aftermath of the Haggard prostitute meth-habit scandal.

According to the Colorado Springs Gazette, New Life Church leader Brady “Boyd said the church reached a legal settlement to pay the man for counseling and college tuition, with one condition being that none of the parties involved discuss the matter publicly.”

First let’s clarify what New Life has failed to make clear. The young man was in his “early twenties” when he approached the church about the relations between he and Haggard. According to Boyd, the “inappropriate, consensual sexual relationship” had gone on for “a long period of time.” The church denies that the young man might have been a minor when it began.

Second, according to a letter sent to its congregation members as a result of the new revelations, New Life Church admits now that it has “received reports of a number of incidents of inappropriate behavior.”

In light of Ted Haggard trying to repaint himself as a victim in an HBO documetary, and on Oprah Winfrey, and an upcoming Larry King Live, the New Life ex-volunteer now wants to go public with his story.

While the church told the public, and its congregation, that Haggard’s impropriety did not extend beyond the Denver prostitute, it looks like New Life Church deliberately kept this story under wraps, despite an “overwhelming pool of evidence” to indicate otherwise. In the face of the hush-up coming to light, their official response is even more duplicitous.

“It wasn’t at all a settlement to make him be quiet or not tell his story,” Boyd said. “Our desire was to help him. Here was a young man who wanted to get on with his life. We considered it more compassionate assistance – certainly not hush money. I know that’s what everyone will want to say because that’s the most salacious thing to say, but that’s not at all what it was.”

An agreement to keep quiet appears to have been what New Life Church thought “it was.” Asked whether the church will pursue legal procedures against the young man, Boyd replied:

“We have legal standing to do that, but not the desire to.”

The new book club at the Colorado Springs Justice and Peace Center

I did a quick google and came across probably a good 15 book clubs in the Colorado Springs area. That is a surprise to me, since I, like many, only think book clubs when I think Oprah Winfrey Show.

I always thought that at least this was one good thing Oprah actually was doing, trying to interest people in reading some again. Lord knows they need to read a little bit more in the US, as most everywhere else, too. So when the peace group PPJPC decided to start one, I thought it a good idea, though the selection of Jimmy Carter’s new book, Palestine: Peace Not Apartheid, seemed to me at first to be an unfortunate choice. I was mistaken.

I almost didn’t go since I didn’t want to waste my money on Jimmy Carter’s nonsense, but then I thought well why the hell not go and read some of the book in the bookstore instead of buying it? I am glad I did, because I thought our discussions of this book on the three different nights the club has been going were all quite interesting. What was great was the way Steve Saint, organizer of the club, allowed for everyone to participate so well. This was quite a contrast to how much of the affairs at the PPJPC ‘teach’ and preach at people more than allow everyone to give their input.

More than Jimmy Carter’s writings, the discussion was more about the Middle East itself and the current political situation in Israel/ Palestine. We need more opportunities where people can just talk to each other about current political issues in a relaxed manner, and this is what I think will make the PPJPC book club a lot different than the other myriad book clubs around town.

Next book up for discussion is not yet determined, but it will probably provoke a good political discussion, too. I would recommend on checking it out, though the next meeting might well be 2 weeks from now, on Monday’s more than likely. It’s a good opportunity to just be able to sit around and talk, without having to drink or hustle. All ages can attend, and that’s part of what made the Carter Apartheid book discussion so interesting.

Keep up the good work, PPJPC, and I hope that when we get a working dvd player, that the political film club can get itself going, too. Got an old unused one around the house? Then think about donating it and watching some movies at the Justice and Peace Center with others. What movie would you like to see? What book would you like to discuss? I voted for ‘Johnny Got His Gun’ next. It’s short and a classic.