Oompah Loompahs meet Jackass

Willy Wonka Oompah LoompahsBy all accounts, Seinfeld was a ground-breaking comedy. Purporting to be a show about nothing, it was in reality a pretty big something.

Unlike typical formulaic sitcoms, Seinfeld’s main characters had no roots, vague identities and a conscious indifference to morals. They also lacked any semblance of couth, which was key to the show’s success.

Seinfeld was funny not because it was about nothing, but because nothing was off the table. Racial stereotyping, anti-Semitism, masturbation, impotence, faked orgasms, personal hygiene issues, birth control — everything was comedic fodder. Jerry and the gang bulldozed political correctness into the dust and made us laugh, if uncomfortably, in the process.

I shouldn’t have been surprised when last week’s decade-old episode featured 6-foot-3-inch Kramer and his new midget friend, Mickey. I’m sure the relationship was funny at the time, but in today’s Hollywood diminutive actors are commonplace. I don’t know if the dwarf population has increased, or if “little people” are simply willing to be exploited by reality show dimwits. In any case, the bloom is off the mini rosebush.

All that said, I’ll bet Jerry Seinfeld would find something funny about ubiquitous midgets.

Midgets pulling a plane

Will the levees fail once again with Hurricane Dolly?

Social drinkers In the US it’s all money all the time for war and big business bailouts, but what about the bailouts the little people have to do when American levee systems fail from lack of proper maintenance? Hurricane Dolly is due to come ashore in the next few days and the lower Rio Grande Valley may well go under water just like what happened in New Orleans and the upper Mississippi region. Dolly Bears Down on Texas, Mexico

How many strikes like this are Americans prepared to let go by? This is not nature alone responsible here because it is not nature that maintains protective levees but your government that does.

Though it is the US military that will be mobilized if failure of these levees occurs, this time it is not the US Corps of Engineers directly in charge of maintaining the levee system, but an agency called The International Boundary and Water Commission with another Bush appointee in charge there. Good luck, People, you will need it.

G8 Summit presides over the world’s growing economic collapse

G8 Big Guy So what’s going on over in Japan at the G8 summit? What are the big shots doing over there? Few follow these mysterious proceedings in the press because it all seems so inscrutable. Besides, we are taught to believe, the rich and powerful kind fathers that they be know what they are doing and all will certainly be worked out for the rest of us for the best.

So let’s cut through some of this crap for a sec and think about it a little, why don’t we? It is not that hard to see what’s really going on, since all one has to do is occasionally look at the business sections of the press and there we see an increasing panic setting in. Will there be a CRASH is the big question? And the business press increasingly is aware that YES, there will be. Why is that?

The G8 has 3 major problems it is dealing with, and they haven’t a clue in how to successfully manage any of the 3 crises! Let’s list the BIG 3 problem areas then…

1) Declining world energy supplies in oil, with resulting rise in prices (including food items) due to this. Energy is needed for movement. 2) Impending world ecological collapse due to centuries of over exploitation of natural resources. Ecological stability is necessary for life. 3) Economic Bubble due to be burst soon. Markets do not have any relation now to economic activity actually necessary for human well being. Two big examples are the US ‘health system’ and the Pentagon managed military industrial welfare system for the big corporations. Two gigantic overgrown leeches on world economic activity.

So what will the G8 predictably do to deal with these 3 areas of crisis? Will they do anything different? The answer is simply NO, they will not, and that is precisely why the business sectors themselves are beginning to panic. They see it as simply that there is nothing that they can do, and they are right. Under their guidance, or lack of it, the world will simply begin to collapse big time. It is up to the little people (who the big people have total contempt for despite having no answers for anything themselves) to do something about it, or we will all perish.

Meanwhile, go shopping (while you still can) or watch some more TV. It beats being thrown in jail.

Horton Hears Your Fetus

Horton Hears a Who
Do you remember the lesson of Horton Hears a Who? No matter how small, everyone matters. Fox has brought the theme to the animated screen and not-unlikely bedfellows are seizing on the message. Under the revival tents, the anti-abortion preachers want you to glean something further from Horton: that the very life of a tiny embryo could depend on you, if only your inner elephant can be persuaded you hear its call.

Although, they’re are not talking about the embryos deliberately created en vitro by fertility clinics, terminated when too many have taken to the uterine wall. Nor babies miscarried, nor still-born. Do the pro-life Hortons not hear them?

Let’s agree that abortion is tragic, and shouldn’t be bandied about as a lifestyle choice like a Brazilian wax or a boob job. Personally I’d prefer our culture wasn’t so enthralled with promiscuity. Don’t encourage drinking if you can’t live with the car wrecks. Don’t paint sex as the ultimate of fulfillments if your society has set as acceptable norm a procreative age over a dozen years later than we are biological capable.

Fighting Fifth Avenue and mankind’s propensity to hedonism is doubtless harder than bringing the hammer down on a pregnant teen. Shouldn’t the church come down on immorality instead of its victims? Abortion is a hard choice, like any harsh dilemma. We euthanize cats and dogs when there become too many. A “domestic” animal designates those in man’s care, which live to serve us, and die according to our dinner plan. We ride our horses but leave them to the French to eat. To our credit we show a reluctance to face nature’s difficult choices.

Religious beliefs have been the ultimate causes of war, justifying killings in fanatical number, to this present day. Religion is always behind genocide. What is it about pre-infanticide that’s got zealots so indignant?

Is this about an egg and sperm’s right to wed? Or about the church’s prerogative to mandate pregnancy? I think to a large extent, it’s about enforcing puritanism, the better to reserve the sex drive for manipulating people. You can’t have your masses contentedly debauched, they must be repressed and thwarted, being lured by sex to get married and pregnant to breed the next batch of easily motivated worker/consumer drones.

I admire the Right to Life credo that all life is sacred. But is it? Right to Lifers remind me of pedigree animal rescue outfits, only THEIR breed is sacred enough worth saving. What about other forms of life? Owls? Whales, small fish? Are these pious folks practicing vegans, concerned not to exploit any living being? Do they feed themselves like the Buddhists monks who consume liquids through a strainer, careful not to swallow even a flea?

The pro-lifer’s concern is not for the human being small person, it’s only for the unborn baby. And it’s only for the unborn of their likeness, and more than likely from their neighborhood. Other cultures’ offspring are mere driving factors of overpopulation, unless they are our colonial suppliers of cheap labor.

And what about already born babies? Or babies -or tiny children- belonging to foreigners, right now being shot at by our troops? Where is the Right to Life alarm about people we are depriving of life? Horton’s lesson was that others matter, regardless of size. Would that mean not just little people? What of adult people being exploited, tortured or condemned to death, who is concerned for their right to life?

One of the charms of Dr. Seuss is that his myriad creatures represent an incalculable gamut of fantasy beings. Horton does not hear a baby elephant for example, he hears a WHO. The Whos of Whoville are not of his world at all, and might well inhabit a forth dimensional anthill as far as Horton can figure. Would this not be quite the humanitarian message for religious nuts preoccupied only for their own? Miserably too, they are not obsessed with precisely their own, but about YOUR own, whom they claim as theirs to save. Their daughters are having abortions, to the last, I can assure you that.

The your-baby demagogues are motivated by penance, for deed past or to come, but instead of flagellating themselves, they’re beating on your daughter. They are concerned for the right to life of her baby, to be conceived unprepared for and un-afforded. They stand for that baby’s right to the unending cycle of ill-parenting, vocational training, indebtedness, and life of servitude.

Dr. Seuss lived long enough to see the Religious Right’s interest in exploiting the Horton Hears a Sinner theme. Both Theodor Geisel and his widow publicly repudiated the holier-than-thou interpretation being used to agitate against abortion. But now his earthly voice is extinguished, and we can see Pro-Lifers don’t respect the dead either.