Tag Archives: Balloon Boy

Balloon boy, Osama Hunter, now… Crocodile Sitting…

From the “boy trapped in runaway balloon” but actually with full knowledge of his parents hiding in the garage, to Faulkner taking his Gweat Big Scawy Wifle to Pakistan ’cause on account of he was gonna shoot him a Rag-Head, wouldn’t matter which one because even the U.S. Government doesn’t have a real picture of him, he wuz jes’ gonna pop a cap in some Sand-nigger…
and now, Man bitten while attempting to sit on a crocodile…
Some people will do anything to try to force their 15 minutes.
According to the story, the 36 year old Australian man was ejected from a pub for “being too drunk”
SAYYYYY WHUT? Somebody tossed from an AUSSIE bar for being drunk? It’s a sure sign of the Impending Apocalypse.

He then scaled the fence around the Crocodile Park in Perth, because he wanted to “give Fatso a pat”. Sat on Fatso’s back, Fatso objected and bit him on the leg. Then for some reason let the guy go.

Faulkner is crazy, the people who encourage such are just plain evil

And just why does an idiot like that get to own guns unsupervised? His “friends” are encouraging others to have a hand at it.
I don’t know why I missed this the first go-round.
Must be the novocaine from the tooth extraction wearing off.
Greeley, Colorado. Ahem. “Balloon Boy” anyone? Not that they could enlist the governments of Pakistan and the United States in this, but some “reality show” producers might see or have seen a profit margin in promoting this story. Now with a call to arms from his equally goofball friends and family, they’re almost guaranteed a steady stream of dumbasses who can each afford a gun and a plane ticket to Pakistan to try to jump on the bandwagon.
Maybe, too, the Yankee Gubmint done seen the light, and have found a way to “hunt for bin Laden” without using any expensive Predator Drones or any kind of other gear or personnel. Wouldn’t bother bin Laden much either, even if he IS still alive. How the HELL would Faulkner even know if he was aiming at the right Ay-Rab?
The FBI doesn’t even know what he would look like. They FAKED an age progression picture on us that used the face of a Spanish Member of Parliament. Nobody IN AMERICA noticed the fraud, somebody in Spain did

But, hey, all them thar Swarthy Mediterrannean types looks alike.

Falcon Heene is going to be a star

Colorado balloon boyThe Heene family takes the high road, pleading guilty to false reporting, to the surprise I’m sure of the poor-parazzi planting their tent stakes for a courtroom circus feeding frenzy. For his parents stepping up to tell the truth, Balloon Boy is going to emerge a hero, even at school. Who can fault the Heenes for taking the predatory media for a ride? They entertained, they became the butt of jokes, but they harmed no one and exposed the television media’s thinning credibility. The media is showing its vindictiveness, by explaining that the guilty plea was made to avoid Mrs. Heene’s deportation, but parents know this decision was about the kids, and I predict the Heene family’s star will rise. The media may never forgive them, but it’s too competitive to pass on this enterprising bunch.

How culpable was the media? There was not a single possibility that a child was being carried aloft by that mylar balloon. The media willfully played along and knew the story’s unraveling would make for even better ratings.

The prevailing opinion has it that the Heene parents committed an obvious error in judgment to plan this fraud and make the children their accomplices. I’d even agree. But in today’s scheme of things, isn’t seeking fortune and fame a matter of calculating what you have to compromise? It’s too early for mere television viewers to know if the Heenes actually miscalculated. Lots of ordinary people have launched themselves into the celebrity firmament on gambits which would embarrass the rest of us.

Was the Heene gambit much worse than taking your family to sail around the world, or any other foolhardy adventure? They sow the wind, and reap the whirlwind. In this godless age, that is no longer a warning. It’s become an adage to define the fast track for social climbers.

We can second guess to what risks parents should or shouldn’t expose their children, but I don’t know who can say that a grab at the brass ring is ultimately out of bounds.

The fraudulent child-abducted-by-balloon story could almost pass for tongue-in-cheek, really. Just how stupid are the reporters and law enforcement? If you called them to complain of an elephant stuck in your toilet, and they came, my first thought is not going to be to accuse you of fraud.

I don’t care how many search and rescue emergency vehicles were expended on the balloon chase. They’re salaried, and the fuel and equipment hours can be expensed as training exercise. Giving chase is what those personnel are for.

I’m much more concerned about the media teams, fully prepared to build media events from fabricated premises. But it’s what they do with the big stories, like war, and politics. Balloon Boy exposed it.

Balloon Boy parents know Must See TV

balloonboy falcon ft collins colorado
In defense of Balloon Boy’s parents not looking too hard for him in the garage, can you imagine their eyes weren’t riveted like everyone’s on the television images of the soaring balloon? The spectacle was not a mere stray weather balloon, but a 6-year-old aeronaut aloft. Theirs.
If viewers have cause to suspect a hoax, it’s the corporate news and whatever their owners/sponsors would rather us not be pointing at.

Of course little Falcon Heene’s prime-time onscreen debriefing revealed he’d concealed himself, or wasn’t answering his parent’s calls, or thought his parents might have been play-acting, “for the show.” No doubt taping two episodes of reality TV for “Swapping Wives” had taught the Heene household about stage-managed reality. I can imagine there were lots of scenes where the kids had to learn to stay out of the shot until the cameras were ready for their closeup.

America, this is reality TV, the play at home game.

Perhaps we’ll learn later if network producers were in the house today making sure their footage, the entirety of it, from action to personal interest, would make good television. Little Falcon grinning from under a box in the garage would render the aerial footage about nothing but a runaway Chipotle float. A child’s escaped balloon is something you see everyday at the state fair, hardly TV Worth Watching. Not to mention the anti-climax for the rescue posse chasing on the ground for the big payoff reveal, the Mystery of Al Capone’s Vault on a barren Eastern Colorado field.

I find it hard to believe, actually, that Falcon’s father, couldn’t tell at a glance whether his helium borne backyard project was carrying the significant extra weight of a child. That was no UFO to the balloon’s engineer, who’d have to have noticed if ballast had been dropped at the takeoff point to compensate for a supposed passenger.

Similarly, police helicopters are equipped with infrared sensors which would have revealed immediately if a human body was aboard. The entire media distraction was a fabrication.