Hey! The White Wealth Olymics are on!

Olympic commentators are fawning over the winter sports dynasties, some of them actual petty-royal lineages, from European feifdoms and colonial sultanships, family trees full of resort-dwelling ski bums, literally, jetsetters. Agree the commentators: “It’s in the genes!”

Do the 2012 London Olympics need extra security forces to protect Israeli athletes or to arrest them?

Organizers are worried about inadequate security for the Olympic Games set to begin next month in London. What security threat are they anticipating exactly? It’s true the Olympics have become a bullseye for globalization critics. More and more, both athletes and groupies represent the jet set. But other than past indigenous protests in the Commonwealth territories, which amounted to no more than nonviolent blockades, what does the UK need paramilitary forces to defend against this time? Another 1972 Munich massacre? At the summer Olympics in Munich, the Israeli wrestling team was murdered by PLO terrorists called the “Black September Brigade”, but the official narrative leaves off that the Israeli athletes were targeted because they were IDF soldiers who’d participated in the counter-insurgent near-complete rout of the PLO, known as Black September. So that raises an interesting question. Is London expecting to host Israeli athletes who were veterans of Operation Cast Lead or the attack on the Mavi Marmara, whose assassinations someone might want to avenge? British authorities could address that most handily with preemption, because this time the IDF campaign against Gaza was widely regarded to have violated international law. Warn Team Israel that any such veteran setting foot in England would face prosecution for war crimes. While London is at it, issue the same warning to Team USA. Yeah, and Team UK, and Team Germany, et cetera, for Afghanistan, Libya, now Syria. It’s become the 2012 NATO War Criminals Olympics, gone professional, no amateur status terrorists need apply.

Polo fits White Wealth Winter Olympics

Ralph LaurenYou might wonder why a polo player features so prominently on the official clothing of the 2010 Winter Olympics. Well of course, because the haberdasher au contract is Ralph Lauren, who one-upped Lacoste so many years ago when so many of the hoi polloi began sporting the little alligators that yuppies needed to differentiate themselves once again.

Of course a snotty sport like polo is not unrepresentative of winter sports. It’s exclusive, requires expensive equipment, and near full-time access to snow, meaning globe-trotting jet setters. What’s appropriate too about this logo is its size. You didn’t remember it being so big? It’s targeted at generation Ralph Lauren, now needing reading glasses.

Medal count reflects Wealthy Olympics

The US media ranks the US ahead in the Vancouver Winter Olympics based on most medals won. The non-American consensus rates competitors according to their gold, Germany often leading. If your average win is silver, it does seem queer to declare yourself in first place. Not to mention that total wins appear irrevocably linked to the size of the teams fielded. Inspired by 538 giving 2010 odds based on statistical analysis, I thought about other likely predictors. Number of athletes and population size are both outweighed by Per Capita Income as the deciding factor for final rankings.

Gold
Medals
Total
Medals
 
Country
Team
Size
 
Population
GDP per
capita
Prob.
Rank
8 32 USA 215 309m $ 46k 1
9 27 Germany 153 82m 39k 3
8 20 Norway 99 5m 77k 4
8 17 Canada 206 34m 39k 2
6 11 South Korea 46 50m 16k 9
6 8 Switzerland 146 8m 66k 5
4 13 Austria 81 8m 45k 7
4 10 China 90 1,336m 3k 10
4 8 Sweden 106 9m 43k 6
3 14 Russia 177 142m 9k 8