Tim Tebow here’s your sign

Football-Ephesians-Tim-Tebow-Bible-Eye-BlackFootball evangelist Tim Tebow is at it again, proselytizing with his sportsman mascara. This time it’s Ephesians, something about how you’re saved by your belief in Jesus, regardless your deeds. It’s the same mentality that has Americans crusading against the Islamic world, desecrating humanity with an impunity sanctioned by blind faith. It’s the same mindless arrogance that emboldens Brit Hume to call Tiger Woods to Christianity, whose American tradition has it that all your mother killing and father raping will be forgiven. In Hume’s world, Tokyo Rose was tried for inciting war crimes. Hume doesn’t recognize that he’s guilty of worse. In Hume’s Christianity, apparently only Buddhists reap what they sow.

What is the point of the messaging in the eye black? Is it merely more ad space, like the helmets with the American flag decals, or uniforms with the Nike logos or embedded Swooshes, Gatoraid patchs and corporate sponsors of whichever bowl? Dark patches beneath the eyes might be nature’s way of easing the trauma of bright light on hangover sufferers. If the black light-sinks work, then Tebow’s white on black script most certainly impedes his vision.

It was always my impression that football players marked their faces with shoe polish like it was indian war paint, to give themselves a menacing look. I think that’s more Tebow’s motif, to intimidate with self-righteousness.

In which case, the I’m-better-than-you scripture reference would seem more along the lines of the sign which restaurants post above the coat rack: not responsible for stolen items, although common law dictates that if you are seated beyond line of sight of the garments you shed, the restaurant is responsible.

Tim Tebow informs us, through Ephesians, that he has chosen to follow God’s will for him, that his lifetime consist of playing American football. Whether they understands it or not, Tebow and company vitalize the spiritual center of America’s culture of violence. We kick ass, and hold God responsible.

The Cancer Cartel at work again

Think pink Nike jerseyI don’t know how many of you are women’s basketball fans, but just in case you missed last weekend’s action, most of the top-ranked college teams played their games bedecked from head to toe in pink uniforms, compliments of Nike. The Think Pink initiative is a global, unified effort of the Women’s Basketball Coaches Association (WBCA) to raise breast cancer awareness on the court, across campuses, in communities and beyond. More than 800 universities participated in some capacity in the event which happened to coincide with ESPN’s ‘February Frenzy’ of games. Fans of the game were encouraged to don pink in support of the cause.

Now, I don’t know if you’ve seen a typical women’s basketball fan, but I can assure you that pink is not her favorite color. However, like the rest of us, she’s always willing to do her part in the fight against breast cancer.

During last week’s action, in addition to the play-by-play reminder of breast cancer, fans were repeatedly encouraged to give generously to the Kay Yow/WBCA Cancer Fund. We were told that we must band together to stop this ruthless killer of women. Yes, we surely surely must.

My question is why didn’t Nike just write a big check to the fund and be done with it? We could’ve actually WATCHED the Rutgers-Tennessee game, a rematch of last year’s NCAA final; the fund would have its money; more “research” could be done; big Pharma and their minion-surgeons could have their pin money; big food could keep fucking with the food supply so that these fundraisers will always be necessary. And Nike will be at the ready to supply gear for each of them, swoosh color negotiable.

Even more importantly, more women would be convinced to cough up money for an annual mammogram, more biopsies of benign tissue would be done and, in the process, even more of them would get cancer from the large, very unnatural and unhealthy, doses of radiation they regularly receive. I mean, let’s forget that one of the world’s foremost authorities on radiation, John W. Gofman, (MD, PhD, Professor Emeritus at UC-Berkeley–no hack, this guy), estimates that 75% of breast cancer cases could be prevented by avoiding exposure to the ionizing radiation of mammography and x-rays.

Sounds like a win-win for everyone. Except, of course, the people who are supposedly benefiting by thinking pink. Maybe next year they could really get everyone’s attention, not just basketball fans, by naming the campaign Think Dead. Just a thought.

Nike tags more advertizing surface

Viking uniform a maze of swooshesOh my goodness look at the Swooshes TM! Nike strikes again with its branding of the Minnesota Vikings. How many not so subliminal Nike trademarks do you see in this picture? The Viking uniforms sport the same torso swoosh as the Broncos but there’s more! Above the shoulders, behind the arms, and the refashioned horns.

Original Viking helmetIf the NFL is more restrictive than the NCAA about displaying manufacturers logos on uniforms, that’s not keeping Nike from tagging the athletes like so much graffiti.

On the old helmet, the ring around the horn was a semi circle, not a lateral crescent.

Nike swoosh the new uniform

Jake Plummer no longer of the Denver BroncosMy lover won’t talk to me if I refer to the garments of professional athletes as “outfits.” She doesn’t appreciate “costumes” either. Both terms fit to me, considering the theatricality of the performances and outcomes, involving rivalries that could not matter less.
 
The new Bronco look is distinguished by a curvy flank stripe, designed by the uniform’s manufacturer… NIKE! Bronco fans still argue it’s not product placement of the trademark Nike Swoosh. That’s a Bronco fan for you.

NFL rivals Adidas stripes versus Nike swooshI’ll admit when a Bronco is standing up, or is at rest, the orange swoosh forms just an elongated crescent. The real genius of this design is that when the athlete is poised to strike or is in motion, either end of the slash serves to form America’s beloved Just Do It check mark.

Tell me the photo at right doesn’t reflect the real competing titans of the NFL: Adidas versus Nike.