Tag Archives: Tiger Woods

Remember the horrendous scandal and the Media Blitz(es) That followed?

Mark Sanford, Governor of South Carolina… Used government money to finance Argentine Tryst. A full Seven Hours every day for a month analyzing the story and berating him…. woops didn’t happen… Sorry.

Senator Larry Craig, (R) Idaho (I da pimp! bad joke) practicing the unsafest of all Sex Acts, random anonymous sex, in a Mens Room at the Minneapolis Airport, Married, family man, cheating on his wife.

They followed him everywhere, then when he disappeared they staked out his boat, his house, his mom’s house and his kids school trying to get pictures of him… ooopsie… That didn’t happen either.

Bob Allen of Florida, State Representative, (R) in a men’s room repeatedly, so afraid of Black Dudes raping and robbing him that he followed them into the John and paid them 20 a piece to fellate them…
Married, Cheating on his wife…
When he went in to Sex Rehab the National Enquirer poked cameras into every opening in the fence looking to catch a picture of him. Nope, not that either…
My favorite, Vitter of Louisiana getting caught with his diapers down… He of “Family Values” and Unimpeachable Morals fame.
All of them, when they apologized, did so clearly, succinctly and humbly, then submitted themselves to the questions of the repor…

Wait a minute. None of them apologized, at all, ever. Since they were all members of the Bu’ush Regime and active supporters of the War Of Terror, their actions DID affect more than just their families and thus, they DID owe America an apology. Not merely for being Sexual Hypocrites, but for the God-Damn 8 year killing Spree “their” troops have been engaged in. That’s pretty damn major. All of them made a big hoo-hah over criminalizing Sex between Consenting Adults and de-criminalizing Hate Crimes. (not just the Hate Crimes against gay People either)

None of them bothered with Rehab, none of them hounded and their families hounded for what’s now 3 Freakin’ Months, mon… nothing at all like what a guy who plays the dorkiest game in existence for a living is subjected to.

People PAY the government officials for leadership and for being Role Models for their kids. It’s one of the Job REQUIREMENTS for Christ’s Sake.

But a guy who plays a game for a living, is really required to do nothing but smack a very small ball with a very crooked stick into a very small hole that’s anywhere between 75 and 200 yards away.

And do it consistently. It doesn’t matter if they have a messed up politicial, social or personal life. Some of the courses he plays on had never had a Black golfer in any of their tournaments EVER when he started. Some of them at the time still forbad blacks to actually play there, pay to play there, with no chance at winning money. So why the anger? Are they really such shitty parents that they need a middle aged black man who they’ve never met to be a Role Model for their piglets?

Since WHEN? Would they walk into the Midnight Rose or the Brass Ass (for our international audience, those are local casino establishments) and march up to the Penny Slots machines, demand that in order to win (more like, LOSE) money at the One Armed Bandit they first have to pledge to be Morally Superior, saints in fact, and to raise the children of Millions of really lazy parents who don’t have the skill or ambition to do it themselves?

Shit, they don’t even do it for Professional Leaders like Politicians and Preachers (I bet Haggard thought he was sliding on this score)

P.S. all of them, except the Golf Player, are back at their chosen professions. And probably their favorite hobbies. The only one else who had a serious chance of losing his career is the preacher.

They went out Tiger hunting, with their elephants and guns…

… and Paul, Ringo and the estates of John and George are gonna sue me…
But in the Smokescreen Media, where rumors of a Black Man having sex is more important than massive firepower being thrown at what was the poorest country on earth, until they dismantled the economy of Haiti, well…
They have to do SOMETHING to distract people from such unimportant stuff like the Former First “lady” Clinton saying that IRAN has a military dictatorship, while and at the same time the U.S. Army is busy dismantling the Local Government in Helmand Province and replacing it with a U.S. Military Dictatorship.

At an undisclosed price vis-avis Loss of Human Life.
The Army says Ooops, 12 civilians blown to hell by one of their “Smart” Bombs. They don’t say how many were children, my guess is “all”.
If I’m wrong, Prove it.
They’re also only reporting ONE incident. That usually means they did a lot of OOPSIE moments.

Hey, hey, USA
How Many Civilian Kids did you Kill Today?

So, they’re recycling the Tiger Woods crap, “How DARE that uppity negro have sex with more than one person? Doesn’t he know that because he can play golf very well, he’s supposed to be a Role Model for our kids?”

Because, you know, the Haters SERIOUSLY aren’t good Role Models, so they have to set up somebody who doesn’t even KNOW their kids as a Role Model.

Look how well their efforts to be “role models” to kids in Afghanistan are panning out.

“Now, Kids, if you insist on following your own culture which is several thousand years older than ours, and believing that your culture and religious mores are every bit as good as Our Superior White-Oriented Culture, then we’ll have to snuff your uppity little brown arses”

And of course do it in the name of Christ and Freedom.

And smokescreen it with lurid stories of a Black man having sex with white women.

Tim Tebow here’s your sign

Football-Ephesians-Tim-Tebow-Bible-Eye-BlackFootball evangelist Tim Tebow is at it again, proselytizing with his sportsman mascara. This time it’s Ephesians, something about how you’re saved by your belief in Jesus, regardless your deeds. It’s the same mentality that has Americans crusading against the Islamic world, desecrating humanity with an impunity sanctioned by blind faith. It’s the same mindless arrogance that emboldens Brit Hume to call Tiger Woods to Christianity, whose American tradition has it that all your mother killing and father raping will be forgiven. In Hume’s world, Tokyo Rose was tried for inciting war crimes. Hume doesn’t recognize that he’s guilty of worse. In Hume’s Christianity, apparently only Buddhists reap what they sow.

What is the point of the messaging in the eye black? Is it merely more ad space, like the helmets with the American flag decals, or uniforms with the Nike logos or embedded Swooshes, Gatoraid patchs and corporate sponsors of whichever bowl? Dark patches beneath the eyes might be nature’s way of easing the trauma of bright light on hangover sufferers. If the black light-sinks work, then Tebow’s white on black script most certainly impedes his vision.

It was always my impression that football players marked their faces with shoe polish like it was indian war paint, to give themselves a menacing look. I think that’s more Tebow’s motif, to intimidate with self-righteousness.

In which case, the I’m-better-than-you scripture reference would seem more along the lines of the sign which restaurants post above the coat rack: not responsible for stolen items, although common law dictates that if you are seated beyond line of sight of the garments you shed, the restaurant is responsible.

Tim Tebow informs us, through Ephesians, that he has chosen to follow God’s will for him, that his lifetime consist of playing American football. Whether they understands it or not, Tebow and company vitalize the spiritual center of America’s culture of violence. We kick ass, and hold God responsible.

Tiger Woods leaves a voicemail

Tiger Woods and wife Elin Nordegren“Hey, it’s, uh, it’s Tiger. I need you to do me a huge favor. Um, can you please, uh, take your name off your phone. My wife went through my phone. And, uh, may be calling you. If you can, please take your name off that and, um, and what do you call it just have it as a number on the voice mail, just have it as your telephone number. That’s it, OK. You gotta do this for me. Huge. Quickly. All right. Bye”