Verifying the Sarah Palin Chronicles

Palin family unwed mothersSarah Palin is probably like most people, she’d rather her medical records remain confidential. Most of us resist even the indignity of taking a drug test to qualify for a job. But executive level positions require the insurance of a bill of health, clean or not. Unfortunately for Sarah, the employers making the hiring decision for the Executive Branch are We the People.

I do hope there’s an Executive Privilege to invoke which can protect the details of some categories. If FDR could keep his wheelchair a secret, I don’t mind not knowing about mental health lapses, STDs, or conditions Palin had to invent to score antibiotics for a spouse’s infection. Sarah may not seem bright, or educated, but TV viewers can all attest she doesn’t lack sanity or stamina. I doubt a psychiatrist would consider her behavior to be in any way aberrant for a public figure.

What probably really chafes Sarah is that fewer of her viewers seem concerned for her health, than are eager to check out her strange pregnancy story. Ordinarily, I’d think reproductive health histories should be the last to merit scrutiny, but what if the details in question concern a politician who wants to make it her business to regulate the reproductive rights of others?

Should a daughter’s right to privacy supersede a policy maker’s family-values facade? If a politician wants to laud high fructose corn syrup as part of a child’s healthy diet, I’d like them to acknowledge if their children are obese. Don’t preach the practicality of abstinence if your children are reproducing out of bounds. Maybe your clan can afford unwanted pregnancies, at least admit it.

I don’t have a problem with Jamie Lynn Spears’ second teen pregnancy, she has the financial resources to have oodles of babies. Of what quality, I can’t judge. But I’m not much in favor of Disney holding her up as an example for teenagers who aren’t buffered from minimum wage jobs and no daycare.

More mothers than we could probably guess have raised a grandchild as their own, to save face for a daughter’s premarital accident. Nothing untoward about secret keeping, it’s just tragic that women are forced to hide. Perhaps we should wish that society be more accepting. Would Sarah Palin’s fundamentalism be taking us in that direction?

Baby TrigSarah Palin’s reproductive dogma would be hypocritical if it turns out that her fifth baby Trig was in reality her daughter Bristol’s. Why do we presume to judge unless we know for sure? Why does Palin refuse to release her health records? She’s told the media she will, but November 4th approaches…

It’s reported the Trig pregnancy went undetected by Sarah’s staff, while by coincidence, over the same period 16-year-old Bristol was kept out of school on account of “mono.” Sarah was on a business trip in Texas when she says her water broke. She boarded the plane to Alaska, still without anyone knowing about her condition, and gave birth later that evening. Who really cares if it happened that way or not, except that Palin is an outspoken puritan.

Who cares if Senator Larry Craig solicits illicit sex in public bathroom stalls? Except he’s a leading demagogue against gay equal rights.

And their denials would make them liars. Since when do we tolerate duplicity from public officials?

There’s a chance Sarah Palin has complicated her story with the public announcement of daughter Bristol’s unplanned pregnancy and intention to wed her unwitting teenage partner. It would appear this revelation was made primarily to deflect suspicions about which of them gave birth to the April baby. Sarah’s argument is that Bristol couldn’t be five months pregnant now if Bristol had been Trig’s real mother. Except the public will have little way to know how far along Bristol really is or was, if at all. Until well after the election.

All those facts will be very easy to contain after the election.

The American public needn’t know Bristol Palin’s private life. But we have every obligation to discover if Sarah Palin is the straight shooter she pretends.

Not your mother’s Peace Corps

Teaching abstinence to the AIDS afflicted.Did you hear in Ghana today President Bush is having lunch with US Peace Corps workers? Wherever did his handlers find even one Peace Corps volunteer who would feign tolerance to our callous mini-tyrant? In indifference-ravaged Africa no less! Is the Peace Corps not what it used to be, or not what we thought it was?

President Kennedy started the Peace Corps as a means for America to put a better face forward than the one the world saw in our exploitive capitalists. Though our politicians spoke of democracy and human rights, our soldiers usually demonstrated our industrial sense of entitlement to third world resources and labor. The Peace Corps was a deliberate counter to the suspicion that our usual diplomats, consultants and NGOs were riddled with CIA. In fact the Peace Corps was recruiting ground for the CIA.

Colorado College president Richard Celeste, himself a former Peace Corps director, likes to tell the story about volunteers working in Asia who knew the whereabouts of an insurgent, if only they’d known the CIA was after him. This is offered as proof of the firewall between US intelligence and the Corps. Of late, as we come to understand Black Ops and CIA ulterior motives, the anecdote comes to suggest the opposite. Revelations like Confessions of a Economic Hit Man indict the Peace Corps fully.

Since Celeste’s tenure, Colorado College boasts of being a leading contributor of students into the Peace Corps. With their advocacy of abstinence, are these civil NGOs distinguishable from missionaries?

Paul Theroux, 2007:

Poor Africa, the happy hunting ground of the mythomaniac, the rock star buffing up his or her image, the missionary with a faith to sell, the child buyer, the retailer of dirty drugs or toxic cigarettes, the editor in search of a scoop, the empire builder, the aid worker, the tycoon wishing to rid himself of his millions, the school builder with a bucket of patronage, the experimenting economist, the diamond merchant, the oil executive, the explorer, the slave trader, the eco-tourist, the adventure traveler, the bird watcher, the travel writer, the escapee, the colonial and his crapulosities, the banker, the busybody, the Mandela-sniffer, the political fantasist, the buccaneer and your cousin the Peace Corps Volunteer.

Role models defined loosely

Disney studio actress contracted for next five High School Musicals
Call me a prude, but I don’t think a children’s studio should renew the contract of a young actress who has adult photographs circulating on the web. Particularly if she’s meant to be a youth role model and especially if the wholesome character Vanessa Hudgens portrays is younger than her real-life age. Imagine if paparazzi caught Urkel or Gary Coleman drinking at a bar for example.
Likewise do you wonder if a pregnant Jamie Lynn Spears should retain her tweenager role at Nickelodeon’s Chastity High? How are young viewers to reconcile Zoey of abstinence 101 with the tabloids which will describe Zoey the young mother? Is it the unspoken result of a mindless sitcom episode they might have missed?
But I also find it unseemly for Disney Channel actresses to be mascara’d like Bratz Dolls. It’s the painted lady look. Where is the Disney piper leading our children? To the sex service industry?

Arizona, our lovely sun state is shocking!

Tired of Tupperware parties, Amway sales parties, lingerie sales parties, Mary Kay cosmetics sales parties, Women? Want to make a fortune and socialize with other ladies of your type at the same time? Great!

From Phoenix, in our lovely sun state of Arizona, a new opportunity for getting rich shockingly quick is emerging. We are talking about pink stun gun sales parties! Taser parties stunning success with female clients

Yes, Arizona seems to be the perfect birthplace for this new social engagement. Pretty soon, moms all across America will be buying these high voltage birth control machines for their teenage daughters to go along with the more basic Biblical Abstinence Education course. Focus on the family!

Now, isn’t this much better than having to carry around pepper spray bottles in your purses, take feminist karate courses taught by imposing lesbians, or just calling 9/11, Ladies? Plus, if you catch the old man or teen boy watching porn on the INTERNET, you can always deliver them a gentle reminder of how you feel about such things. This is a sales item that no home can be without safely. Buy one now! ***note- The Pink Taser will soon be available in Tangerine, Fuchsia, and Nude, too.

Buy your new sex toy HERE! And just wait to our ‘peace officers’ got a shot of this! Bondage and domination has never been easier and more convenient!

The Spears sisters genetic tree stump

Result of face growing around premature nose job.Dumbshell Britney Spears’ little sister is having a baby. The clan are mega millionaires, why shouldn’t they decide what they please? Clearly they’ve already decided a premature preteen nose job is fine, even if your face is going to outgrow it. Time for another!
Baby at sixteen. Please. A young mother in Bangladesh is on her third by sixteen. Young Indonesian tsunami survivors were starting second families by sixteen.

What does the Spears pregnancy say about American teens in general, ill-served by abstinence-only sex-ed, who are finding themselves pregnant? Most of those young mothers do not have media fortunes to fall back on and can expect basically lives of uneducated hardship. Historically, before public education, before the middle class, girls were pregnant as early as nature provided to yield the next generation of workers. Their witless beaus as well were shackled to prospect-less futures.

Appropriately enough the Spears celebrity news critics treat this development like it was a stumbled performance on American Idol. What does this mean for the profile-challenged Spears’ career? What advice can they offer to improve viewer poll reception in the next round? Will Nickelodeon dump pregnant Jamie Lynn from Zoey 101 because her figure may no longer be believed as a sixteen year old passing as a middle schooler. Oh my God. Forget about dumping the errant Bratz Doll because she presents too skewed a role model to America’s preteens.

Why are our culture deciders glamorizing White Trash?

In other Trailer Park news, a worker at a Lowes store discovers that a coworker is his biological mom who had given him up for adoption. What does that say about genetic self-determination? Even with new parents he couldn’t roll further than a mega store aisle from that tree.

Pornology- is it available at Poor Richards?

I just learned about this book, Pornology, over at alternet where they had an article about it. So I’m wondering whether I should go over to Poor Richard’s and get a copy?

You see, like so many sad individuals of my sex, I have a porn addiction. I wrestle with this devil (sometimes day and night!) for weeks at a time. I am hoping that the female author, named Ayn (wonder if her parents gave her this name due to their studious readings in Ayn Rand Thought?) Carrillo-Gailey, of this work can give me insight to help cure me of this nasty affliction? Wonder if New Life Church could help?

I’m wondering, also, if I could go insane as so many have done through the ages due to their inability to focus on realities while under the curse of obsession with their affliction of onanism? Luckily, District 11 has a middle school course in endocrinology and abstinence that will probably inoculate our children from becoming addicted to this vice. I just wish that they had had this course back in the ’50s and ’60s when I was a kid. Plus, I was altered by not having alternet to alert me to finding fine books on this delicate subject such as Pornology seems to be.

Please Poor Richard have a copy available for me when I get to your store. This definitely looks to be good writing!