Tag Archives: Tabloids

John Travolta caught cheating uh, fans

By all appearances, a traditional paparazzi scoop. Wanna bet Brand Travolta has calculated that being “unmasked as a cheating spouse” will be outweighed by positive inferences of the shifty Scientologist’s virility? The photo on the tabloid cover appears to have caught Travolta mid-tryst, half-toweled, before he could dress and flee. Except his hairpiece isn’t the least ruffled, and the headline implies that Travolta’s adulteress is a woman. Travolta being bald and gay must be taking a toll on the star’s billing. No doubt this product placement will play in Peoria where moviegoers haven’t read about Travolta’s refrigerated wig vault, or that Team Travolta has final approval over every photo shoot to certify that his fake hair passes muster, or his industry-celebrated status as alpha queen of the set. If Hollywood would stop behaving like there’s something wrong with that, there wouldn’t be anything wrong with that.

Gender Respect in Tabloids & Wrestling

So I figured a way to tie a few concepts into one on the subject of two headlines on Gossip Tabloids in the supermarket check-out lane. National Enquirer headline “Roy, of Siegfried and Roy caught on video soliciting GAY sex!” My out-loud reaction was “Oh My GOD! Siegfried and Roy are GAY? I haven’t been this disillusioned since I found out Pro Wrestling was Fixed!” The Enquirer and every other “news” pooper similar thereto, you see, have been publicizing the non-secret that they have a love-love thing going on. So what would be a more Man-bites-dog type of real shocker headline would be if Roy had solicited sex from a woman. I mean, they’ve been so far out of the closet that I doubt they could find the closet or maybe don’t even have one.

The next one is from a paper owned by a Far Right person who has an avowed hatred of Liberals, meaning everybody to the Left of Vlad the Impaler. “Obama dumps Oprah”, which shows their basic confusion.

Because they’ve been publishing crap like Obama GAY, Oprah GAY, Oprah having a marriage with TWO Gay Women and so forth and so on. They’re still pissed off that they couldn’t successfully sue her for Libel when she had a guest on her show who dared to mention the Dreaded Anti-Meat Industry “myth” about Mad Cow disease. How DARE those liberals have Free Speech! Don’t they know that Ronald McDonald fought and DIED for their Freedom? What a Ray Kroc of shit.

So which is it, is Obama GAY, is Oprah GAY, are either of them GAY, how did they find time to explore the Hetero side of life, when, where, who? They’re serving up a line of crap that’s been slurped down and more requested from people who have no IDEA of what it would feel like to actually think for themselves for a change.

All they have to do is mention the GAY word and the morons who buy into it will say “Obama teletubby. Teletubby GAY… All Obama Secret-Muslim Gay Liberal… think too hard, head hurt, must watch Fox… beeep beeep beeep”

Homophobes like the ones who watch Pro-Wrestling, enjoy seeing two large men simulating Man-Rape on each other and think it’s REAL. And also will strongly deny that it has any Homoerotic pornography working.

In other words, people who are easily confused.

They probably don’t have any idea that the entire mess is filled with contradiction.

“Gender Identity, what’s THAT? Gender Respect, say, isn’t that some of that P.C. crap Glenn Beck warned us not to listen to? PC GAY… PC Spongebob… must not think, think hurt head too much, must watch Fox beep beep beeeeeeeeeeep!

The Spears sisters genetic tree stump

Result of face growing around premature nose job.Dumbshell Britney Spears’ little sister is having a baby. The clan are mega millionaires, why shouldn’t they decide what they please? Clearly they’ve already decided a premature preteen nose job is fine, even if your face is going to outgrow it. Time for another!
 
Baby at sixteen. Please. A young mother in Bangladesh is on her third by sixteen. Young Indonesian tsunami survivors were starting second families by sixteen.

What does the Spears pregnancy say about American teens in general, ill-served by abstinence-only sex-ed, who are finding themselves pregnant? Most of those young mothers do not have media fortunes to fall back on and can expect basically lives of uneducated hardship. Historically, before public education, before the middle class, girls were pregnant as early as nature provided to yield the next generation of workers. Their witless beaus as well were shackled to prospect-less futures.

Appropriately enough the Spears celebrity news critics treat this development like it was a stumbled performance on American Idol. What does this mean for the profile-challenged Spears’ career? What advice can they offer to improve viewer poll reception in the next round? Will Nickelodeon dump pregnant Jamie Lynn from Zoey 101 because her figure may no longer be believed as a sixteen year old passing as a middle schooler. Oh my God. Forget about dumping the errant Bratz Doll because she presents too skewed a role model to America’s preteens.

Why are our culture deciders glamorizing White Trash?

In other Trailer Park news, a worker at a Lowes store discovers that a coworker is his biological mom who had given him up for adoption. What does that say about genetic self-determination? Even with new parents he couldn’t roll further than a mega store aisle from that tree.