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Election Day video documentary ideas
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Monthly Archives: November 2008
Canadian Palin prank call over our heads
American media outlets are distributing an expurgated transcript of the CKOI prank call to Governor Sarah Palin. Lots of the jokes made for International listeners were apparently lost on American reporters, as obviously on Palin. Prank caller assistant “Frank the Worker” introduces French President “Sarkozy” who then refers to French faux-ex-pat pop icon Johnny Hallyday as his American adviser, and the Quebec pop country buffoon Stef Carse as the Prime Minister of Canada, not Stephan Harper, the single Canadian we might know, in particular if we were governor of Alaska. Then the Masked Avenger tells Palin that his wife Carla Bruni wrote a song for her, “De rouge a levre sur un cochon” which means “lipstick on a pig!”
To be sure he speaks the phrase quickly, as if disbelieving himself that anyone would not recognize the joke.
The Masked Avengers, comedians Marc-Antoine Audette and Sebastien Trudel, often make fun of the typical American’s complete ignorance of Canadian politics. This prank call refers to the Prime Minister of Quebec Jean Charest, whom the caller assumes Palin would know, being “so next to him.” But they pretend his name is Richard Z. Sirois, who Canadian listeners would recognize is their CKOI cohost of “Les Cerveaux de l’info” (their radio show “The Info Brains”). It might be noted that the duo pulled an identical prank call on George W. Bush in 2000.
Here’s the full unexpurgated transcript of the CKOI prank call made to Governor Sarah Palin. Corrections are in bold. Notes and translations are in brackets.
HANDLER: This is Betsy.
RADIO HOST: Hello, Betsy.
HANDLER: Hi
RADIO HOST: Hi, this is Franc L’ouvrier, [trans. Frank the factory worker, a pun on Joe the Plumber] I am with president Sarkozy, on the line for Gov. Palin
HANDLER: Yes, one second please. Can you hold on one second, please?
RADIO HOST: Yeah, no problem.
HANDLER: Alright, thanks.
HANDLER 2: Hi, I’m gonna hand the phone over to her.
RADIO HOST: OK, thank you very much, I’m gonna put the president on the line
GOV. SARAH PALIN: This is Sarah.
RADIO HOST: Uh yeah, Gov. Palin?
GOV. PALIN: Hello.
RADIO HOST: Just hold on for President Sarkozy, one moment.
GOV. PALIN: [off line] Oh, it’s not him yet. I always do that.
FAKE SARKOZY: Yes, hello, Gov. Palin.
GOV. PALIN: [off line] I’ll just have people hand it to me right when it’s him.
FAKE SARKOZY: Yes, hello, Mrs. Governor?
GOV. PALIN: Hello, this is Sarah. How are you?
FAKE SARKOZY: Fine, and you? This is Nikolas Sarkozy speaking. How are you?
GOV. PALIN: Oh, so good, it’s so good to hear you. Thank you for calling us.
FAKE SARKOZY: Oh, it’s a pleasure.
GOV. PALIN: Thank you sir. We have such great respect for you, John McCain and I. We love you, and thank you for taking a few minutes to talk to me.
FAKE SARKOZY: I followed your campaigns very closely with my special American advisor, Johnny Hallyday.
GOV. PALIN: Yes, good.
FAKE SARKOZY: Excellent, are you confident?
GOV. PALIN: Very confident, and we’re thankful that polls are showing that the race is tightening.
FAKE SARKOZY: Well, I know very well that the campaign can be exhausting. How do you feel right now, my dear?
GOV. PALIN: I feel so good, I feel like we’re in a marathon and at the very end of the marathon you get your second wind and you plow through the finish.
FAKE SARKOZY: You see, I got elected in France because I’m real, and you seem to be someone who’s real as well.
GOV. PALIN: Yes, Nikolas we so appreciate this opportunity.
FAKE SARKOZY: You know, I see you as a president one day too.
GOV. PALIN: Haha, maybe in eight years.
FAKE SARKOZY: Well, I hope for you, you know we have a lot on common because personally, one of my favorite activities is to hunt, too.
GOV. PALIN: Oh, very good, we should go hunting together.
FAKE SARKOZY: Exactly, we could go try hunting by helicopter like you did. I never did that. Like we say in France, “on pourrait tuer des bebe phoques aussi.” [trans. “We could kill some baby seals too.”]
GOV. PALIN: Well, I think we could have a lot of fun together as we’re getting work done. We could kill two birds with one stone that way.
FAKE SARKOZY: I just love killing those animals, mm mm, take away a life, that is so fun. I’d really love to go as long as we don’t bring vice president Cheney, haha.
GOV. PALIN: No, I’ll be a careful shot, yes.
FAKE SARKOZY: Yes, you know we have a lot in common because except that from my house [note: bad French accent makes this sound like “ass”] I can see Belgium. That’s kind of less interesting than you.
GOV. PALIN: Well, see, we’re right next door to other countries that we all need to be working with, yes.
FAKE SARKOZY: Some people said in the last days, and I thought that was mean, that you weren’t experienced enough in foreign relations and you know, that’s completely false. That’s what I said to my great friend, Prime Minister of Canada, Steph Carse [local Canadian singer who rerecorded Achy Breaky Heart, not Stephen Harper].
GOV. PALIN: Well, you know, he’s doing fine too, when you come into a position underestimated, it gives you an opportunity to prove the pundits and the critics wrong. You work that much harder.
FAKE SARKOZY: I was wondering, because you are SO NEXT TO HIM, one of my good friends the PM of Quebec, Mister Richard Zed Sirois. [Mr. Richard Z. Sirois is their KVOI “Les Cerveaux de l’info” radio co-host, not Quebec Prime Minister Jean Charest] Have you met him recently? Has he come to one of your rallies?
GOV. PALIN: I haven’t seen him at one of the rallies, but it’s been great working with the Canadian officials in my role as governor. We have a great cooperative effort there, as we work on all of our resource development projects. You know, I look forward to working with you and getting to meet you personally and your beautiful wife, oh my goodness; you’ve added a lot of energy to your country with that beautiful family of yours.
FAKE SARKOZY: Thank you very much, you know my wife Carla would love to meet you. You know, even though she was a bit jealous that I was supposed to speak to you today.
GOV. PALIN: Well give her a big hug for me.
FAKE SARKOZY: You know my wife is a popular singer and a former HOT TOP MODEL. And she’s so hot in bed, she even wrote a song for you.
GOV. PALIN: Oh my goodness, I didn’t know that.
FAKE SARKOZY: Yes, in French it’s called “de rouge a levre sur une cochonne” [trans. “Lipstick on a pig!” but pig in the feminine can also mean a floozy], or if you prefer in English “Joe the Plumber” (sings:) “It is Life, Joe the Plumber”.
GOV. PALIN: Maybe she understands some of the unfair criticism, but I bet you she’s such a hard worker too and she realizes you just plow through that criticism.
FAKE SARKOZY: I just want to be sure, I don’t quite understand the phenomenon Joe the Plumber, that’s not your husband, right?
GOV. PALIN: That’s not my husband, but he’s a normal American who just works hard and doesn’t want government to take his money.
FAKE SARKOZY: Yes, yes, I understand. We have the equivalent of Joe the Plumber in France, it’s called “Marcel the Guy with Bread Under his Armpit”. Oui.
GOV. PALIN: Right, that’s what it’s all about, the middle class and government needing to work for them. You’re a very good example for us here.
FAKE SARKOZY: I seen a bit, but NBC, even Fox News wasn’t an ally, an ally, sorry about as much as usual.
GOV. PALIN: Yes, that’s what we’re up against.
FAKE SARKOZY: I must say, Gov. Palin, I love the documentary they made on your life – you know, Hustler’s “Nailin’ Palin”.
GOV. PALIN: Oh good, thank you.
FAKE SARKOZY: That was really edgy.
GOV. PALIN: Well good.
FAKE SARKOZY: I really loved you. And I must say something else Governor, [drops French accent] you’ve been pranked by the Masked Avengers, we’re two comedians from Montreal.
GOV. PALIN: Oh, [sic] we’ve been pranked. What radio station is this?
FAKE SARKOZY: This is for CKOY in Montreal.
GOV. PALIN: In Montreal? tell me their radio station call letters.
FAKE SARKOZY: CK… Hello? [to listeners] If one voice can change the world for Obama, one Viagra can change the world for McCain.
PALIN AID: I’m sorry, I have to let you go, thank you.
FAKE SARKOZY: Yay! Woohoo!
Palin seeks refuge in Colorado Springs
ISN’T THIS JUST SO EMBARRASSING? On Monday Sarah Palin returns for a third engagement in Colorado Springs. The Republicans have no safe haven for their “rogue” governor but America’s bastion of militant evangelism we call home. Obviously in their eyes we’re a beacon of nothing brighter than idiocy. And McCain’s campaign strategists dare not expose Palin in a public venue, but in a private airplane hanger located well within military contractor grounds. On election eve, the GOP needs to show Palin with a crowd of supporters who won’t be booing or laughing or trying to slip out in horror. We need to tell Palin to go back to Wasilla, and take her new fans with her.
Frankly, I’m not sure whether the subject of Sarah Palin is fodder for laughter more than it has become a painful embarrassment. I couldn’t listen to the Canadian CKOI prank phone call without cringing for Palin’s awful creepiness. It’s not only unimaginable that she command a position of authority, would you want to have to make polite conversation with her, if only to ask about her wild ride?
Alright, one last exploitive laugh.
If McCain knows how to find Osama bin Laden…
and is a highly visible, very influential member of what was the Ruling Party since 9/11, supposedly very heavy with the Pentagon and the President, … why didn’t he and they actually do it in the past 7 years?
Why would he hold out that hope to the Republicans, who obviously are embarrassed that they’re not over there themselves, but only if he gets elected President?
Why wouldn’t he simply share with the Pentagon and the President, who would obviously benefit from such knowledge?
I mean, he knows how to do it, right? But he’s only going to do it IF he’s elected President.
Could it be, you think, maybe, … That McCain is LYING once again…
Local election officials not helping vote
COLORADO SPRINGS- Mark Lewis continues to document vote suppression in El Paso County. Half as many early voting facilities as 2006, wait times of 2-4 hours. Videos being compiled at videothevote.
Republicans admit! Not-Joe the Not-Plumber Welfare Fraud!!
They’re calling it persecution and retaliation for standing up and basically Lying His Ass Off for McCain…
But there is a closed investigation by the Ohio welfare officials. The only way there could be an investigation by the agency is the Not-Plumber, who says he makes more than three times Minimum Wage, $40K per year… was getting public assistance of some type.
And still not being able to pay his taxes.
The nature of the investigation is sealed, “privacy issues”, but the fact remains, if he hadn’t gotten Welfare the welfare officers couldn’t investigate.
Protective Services, say you? Not so, says I.
That would be something started by the Police, not the welfare folks.
Now, I know, somewhere deep in his nasty little heart, John McCain actually does care as much for the people who only earn Minimum Wage, as he does for somebody making what should be a comfortable living.
Just, you know, voting against raising Minimum Wage every time it comes up for a vote, spends more in a DAY to run the Straight Talk Express Bus than a minimum wage worker makes in ten months.
Never disagrees with the Repuke-lickin’ position that “Working Poor” is a contradiction in terms.
And that deregulation, lots of it, breaking unions, Tax breaks for the rich, all the goodies that would supposedly make a non-union non-certified non-plumber probably would, according to Repuke Propaganda, make him a successful businessman, right…
But he apparently not only couldn’t pay his very low taxes he also took Welfare.
Now, it’s not unusual for Republicans to lie.
In fact, they make a habit of it and they seem to be proud of how effectively they Lie.
Kind of like, a Young, healthy Not-Joe the Not-Plumber supposedly supports the war but ain’t over there fighting in it.
The Personal Cowardice inherent in it is deeply ingrained in the Republican Experience.
But if anything, the fact that Sam the Non-Plumber couldn’t make it in what the Repukes feel is the Ideal Business Environment, then blames it on somebody who was not in power and policies that are not even in place… and have never actually been in place in America.
That’s equally as Hypocritical as their positions on the war.
Memorable McCain debate moments
Memorable moments from the 2008 presidential debates? After not making eye contact with Obama for the entirety of the first debate, McCain refused Obama’s outreached hand, directing his opponent to shake hands with his wife Cindy instead.
Out of the blue, McCain made an off-hand complaint about his pen being old. Prompting this graphic.
McCain’s self-parody of a previous debate, when he didn’t know in which direction to walk, yielded a hilarious photograph, which inspired this diagram.
GOP soft money clothes laundering
Sarah Palin is now pointing out that what she’s wearing is from her “favorite consignment shop in Anchorage Alaska.” Are GOP campaign stylists now stocking the store in Alaska? Stocking it for Sarah Palin? Couldn’t a consignment collection be the ultimate slush fund in miniature, a wardrobe based on the soft money concept? It’s literally political rally wardrobe-laundering!
Purchased from Neiman Marcus, the item can be put on the books at the consignment store for a nominal consignment price. The paper trail can go through the favorite shop, but the clothes can go straight from the GOP personal shoppers in Sarah Palin’s entourage, to Sarah Palin’s steamer trunk.
The infamous 150 thousand dollar shopping isn’t above par for a television wardrobe. Isn’t that figure but a fraction of what Cindy McCain wore in one RNC appearance? The $150K brouhaha masks the larger story, that Sarah Palin is no more a Washington outsider than George W. Bush. Though she plays a western territory governor risen from small time mayor, in reality Palin courted the Republican elite and charmed the GOP Neocons who are looking for another good-ol-boy figurehead to pitch their anti-democratic agenda.
The photo at top was taken of Sarah Palin as she was being ferried from Alaska to Minnesota for her unveiling at the RNC. While the newspaper caption read, Sarah Palin and unidentified male, in fact that figure is Steve Schmidt, head of the McCain campaign, who coached Palin for the entirety of her trip.
In the best of election outcomes…
I’ve been fantasizing for decreasingly brief moments of late, about the outcome of this election. There’s still time to make a wish. Join me! It’s one thing to win the lotto, and another to have everyone win.
Let’s assume a Democratic landslide. It’s not improbable. In the wake of the Bush deluge, the economic and moral collapse of a once diffident cultural hegemony, in light of the investment bank highway robbery and the American legacy plunged into permanent war, couldn’t it be imagined that Americans might have wised up about Republicans? What are these Republicans after all but thieves? How can conservatism be taken to represent anything anymore but ignorant apologists for entrenched corruption?
I think it’s a lovely thought to imagine P.T. Barnum’s adage proving trump, that all Americans can’t stay fooled all the time. And so, what then? How to dispose of Republican stragglers intent on making a last stand with their authority?
We ride them out of town on a rail. Send them to Iraq with personal instructions to stand in for the boys coming home. Make them rebuild Iraq with their bare hands. Make them do, as we forced the Germans to do as we liberated Europe, to help clean the mass graves of the concentration camps. Grind their noses into their immoral mess. Hope they contract a conscience and die of it. That’s for starters.
The smug pencil pushers, GOP operatives who paid the lip service to tolerating torture, condoned what the other imbeciles about them didn’t realize was legislated against already in common law. My sympathies will run insufficient you dopey fiends.
Mine is a bloody fantasy. Blind complicity to mass murder, mass ignorance, mass apathy, amoral immorality, the norm slacker. No more.
It’s time for righteous indignation to stomp on the banal serial injustice minions. We don’t want them crowding our pursuit of happiness, constraining us with conservative red tape which is just administrativ-ese for chicken-shit cheese place-holding.
Republicans deserve foreshortened lives. Not the noose for most, of course, but a doctor’s prognosis that, by measure of how much life they’ve sucked out of other people, how much spirit they have wasted, how much suffering they have caused, how many rights they’ve denied, how much they’ve taken from others, that much should be debited from what they have been banking as their due for their patriotic allegiance.
An eye for an eye. A tooth for a denture denied to an uninsured American. That simple.
We used to damn just the Neocons, but they rode on the shoulders of the Republicans, among others. Isn’t it the hour of reckoning for the Red Blue Meanies?
Fantasy Option Two:
Speaking of Blue Meanies, What if the Republicans win next Tuesday? What then? Cancel the champagne, hold the tar and feathers.
If the Republicans and their anti-democry programs escape the tether of the public’s grasp, it’s curtains most certainly for the land of liberty. But as we fall into post-industrial decay, I wish this fate for the Dems. Every last ordinary registered Democrat must repudiate their pseudo-party. Make their representatives don the lapel pins of their masters. Democrat and Republican politicians are the same.
It pains me to imagine being told that the Republican machine wasn’t built in a day, that Democrats must knuckle down for the long haul to build a similar base. Quietly and patiently put their people into the right local offices, that they might too, someday, rig the election in the Democrats’ favor. But this begs a question the Dems will never resolve. Republicans from top to bottom are smug, selfish dogs. Unthinking brutes by definition. That’s what it takes to run a well-oiled graft machine. Look at your fellow Dems and tell me they will have the stamina and self-interest to work those lower echelons with dumb tenacity. Republicans have staffed the halls of bureaucracy because it suits their temperament. How is a do-gooder supposed to lie, cheat and steal, for a living, elbowing his fellow man?
Fewer trick or treaters to bridge politics
COLORADO SPRINGS- Trick-or-treating appeared to fall to a trickle this year, at least in four neighborhoods from which I heard. Everyone’s main haul was the candy leftover from the anticipated turnout.
This wasn’t the first Halloween to fall on a Friday. In fact, for Colorado this was the most temperate October 31 evening in recent memory. Was it a darker sky? The street certainly was deserted.
I couldn’t help but think the public climate feels more hostile. Less trust, less amicable disagreement. Could it be less excitement about letting your kids interact with your estranged neighbors?
Obama needs your support in Pueblo
PUEBLO- NOV 1st.
It may be the last Colorado whistle stop on the way to the White House. Come see Candidate Obama and make sure he hears what you expect from him. No more wars period. Not in Sudan, Somalia, Iran, Pakistan, Afghanistan, Iraq, Columbia, Bolivia, or Haiti. No more economic war of attrition against America’s own people.
You and I know there aren’t any White Supremacists of sufficient IQ, nor Cuban Loyalist mobsters, nor CIA rogues, nor Southern Separatist holdout, nor probably Zionist hit squad, who have it out for Barack Obama. Nobody is threatened by his intended reform but the Neocons. If the Bush Cheney Gang aren’t convinced they’ve squeezed the American economy of its last trillion dollars, I don’t imagine they plan to let anyone interrupt their gig.
The eyes of America are on this election and on Barack Obama. We aren’t seeing record voter registrations and early voting turnout for any other reason than that the citizens want change. They’re counting on their right, as advertised on TV, to elect the person they want to the presidency. No Texas Book Depository, nor shadow government cabal is going to get in the people’s way.