SOMEONE HAS TO ASK IT: Have professional journalists REALLY agreed to climb in bed with their military handlers?! Couldn’t they have negotiated a better label for themselves than EMBEDS?

Doesn’t the term too easily lead one to think that they might be regarded by their cowboy handers as HOARS? SHIYLS? Or CELLOWTS?

The embedded reporters are opportunists certainly. But surely they can be permitted some pride! Was there not one other term more dignified? IN-POCKETS?

I should clarify that in defaming these embedded reporters, I do not intend any offense toward persons of loose sexual morals.

Persons of easy virtue have nothing on those who ride high in tank convoys mispresenting America’s lethal wargame excursion, who sing for their dinner, tonight’s song being our military’s INDIGNANCE that the Iraqi combatant won’t stand still to face our overwhelming firepower.

Apparently we must insist that the enemy stand up like targets at a firing range because we need to expend and requisition more big electronic explosives. Probably fewer weapons manufacturers stand to benefit from the testing of small firearms ordnance in street to street combat.