Trump shows us that sarcasm doesn’t translate over hostile media either.

Sarcasm does’t work on the internet because the general comprehension level there doesn’t rise above dense. Owing to the same common denominator, Poe’s Law applies to the corporate media too, except the adage doesn’t come up when content isn’t crowdsourced. When the public has no hand in the content creation it has no reason to scrutinize a usage manual. Presidential election troll Donald Trump makes utterances everyday that pundits seize upon to discredit which are obviously sarcastic. But to recognize sarcasm as intended would mean conceding to the implicit truth at which he is digging. The US regime did birth ISIS. If both the justice department or the FBI are uninterested in investigating illegal official emails, the Russians may as well be called upon to check into them. If nuclear weapons are too big to detonate, we ought to stop producing them.

Randy Newman dreams of a White President and a sarcasm-enabled internet


“He won’t be the brightest, but he’ll be the whitest, and I’ll vote for that!” sings Randy Newman of his dream president, drawing the reaction he got when he penned “I’m a Redneck” or “Short People.” America needs a laugh track to know what’s funny. In real life we look at each other when we don’t get something, but online, those slow on the uptake know only to be “first” with an indignant response, as usual, humorless.

Newman’s youtube vid even includes his lyrics:

I’M DREAMING

George Washington was a white man
Adams and Jefferson too
Abe Lincoln was a white man, probably
And William McKinley the whitest of them all
Shot down by an immigrant in Buffalo
And a star fell out of heaven

I’m dreaming of a white President
Just like the ones we’ve always had
A real live white man
Who knows the score
How to handle money or start a war
Wouldn’t even have to tell me what we were fighting for
He’d be the right man
If he were a (everybody!)

I’m dreaming of a white President
Someone whom we can understand
Someone who knows where we’re coming from
And that the law of the jungle is not the law of this land

In deepest darkest Africa nineteen three
A little boy says, “Daddy, I just discovered relativity.
A big eclipse is coming
And I’ll prove it. Wait and see!”

“You better eclipse yourself outta here, son
And find yourself a tree
There’s a lion in the front yard
And he knows he won’t catch me.”

How many little Albert Einsteins
Cut down while in their prime?
How many little Ronald Reagans
Gobbled up before their time?

I don’t believe in evolution
But it does occur to me,
What if little William Howard Taft had to face a lion
Or God forbid, climb a tree?
Where would this country be?

I’m dreaming –Buh buh buh buh
‘Cause things have never been this bad
So he won’t run the hundred in ten seconds flat
So he won’t have a pretty jump shot
Or be an Olympic acrobat
So he won’t know much about global warming
Is that really where you’re at?
He won’t be the brightest, perhaps
But he’ll be the whitest
And I’ll vote for that

Whiter than this?
Yes
Whiter than this?
Yes
Whiter than this?
Yes
Whiter than this?
Oh yeah

You can lead a horse to water, but will it give a statement to the press?

From the horse’s mouth: Nope.
On advice of lawyer, don’t talk about arrest. On advice from retired lawyers: civil liberties issue iffy. Advice gleaned from the overworked ACLU: case not as good as others we’ve got. Advice from friends: hope for a plea deal. Request from PPJPC colleagues: pretend we don’t know you. Advice about the press: “Generally they don’t have much interest in this kind of thing.” FAIL.
 
I have to confess, my pretending yesterday about an intentional plan to fly under-the-radar was sarcasm. I had no idea the extent to which the sublimation of the “MEPP” Kulp/Nace arrests was premeditated. No mention of the court date in the PPJPC Active For Justice weekly email, the arrestees’ spirits driven down by the defeatism prescribed above. I raise this criticism not to victimize the defendants further, but to question this apparently endemic predilection for hemlock.

Protesters say arrests unjust

Exactly how valuable is it to have colleagues with legal experience enough to vacillate about your courtroom chances being between cross-your-fingers and dismal? What good a lawyer whose own sense of your pre-verdict innocence is ambivalent? What confidence is lifted being told it will all depend on the judge? I’ve always thought a lawyer who counsels activists to shut up while their prosecution is pending, lest innocence incriminate itself, is not suited to activists as clients.

Most troubling is the impression which the ACLU gives in its habitual reluctance to express enthusiasm for a case. The Denver ACLU in particular is famously overburdened, and they are inundated with solicitations for representation. Better in my opinion to decline with apologies than to leave inquirers doubting their trampled civil liberties may not have been sufficiently flattened. Free speech is either or. Restricted free speech is restricted speech. Or are we prepared to call it the 1.01 Amendment (revised for 2011)?

Behind the scenes, only hours after the fact, the ACLU can reveal that the November arrests and the policy which the city acted upon were patently unconstitutional. So how can we expedite that kind of reassurance to activists before the fact? Because of course such arrests are only serving to scare the public from even thinking about dissent. In fact this is the preemptive aim of these actions.

I count my own success at avoiding arrest, as I find myself defying authority sometimes nose to nose, with nonchalance because I know my rights. I KNOW MY RIGHTS. That argument appears to register with police officers when you say it as if you’re reassuring them, projecting a shrug and a smile, relieving them of having to rationalize acting against you. When you are confident of your rights there is nothing to compromise but practical considerations, lawful orders which the officer is able to show you are warranted.

You can retreat to a public sidewalk once a policeman has proven he had sufficient authority to make the request. A landlord who has contracted the use of his land to tenants does not have absolute say without their consultation. It’s not even reasonable of him to call in the police if no one is complaining and you are not creating a disturbance. To know these things empowers you to stand your ground when overzealous officers of the law think they can throw their weight around. How do we rekindle that essential confidence in our civil rights?

Pictured: Ted Nace with Rita, Pattie, Eric, Esther, Bill, and Loring

The other confidence-stealing factor at play in this case is an activist organization insisting that its members protest under a different name, to avoid offending members who didn’t agree. On its website, the PPJPC claims the MEPP as a subcommittee, but for the day of action and in subsequent news coverage, no affiliation.

If you consider that the Middle East Peace Project’s objective is to win over public awareness and sympathy, it seems horribly defeatist to think that you can’t even appeal to your own fellow members. Not to mention that you can’t trade on the reputation that sustains your mother organization, instead you have to emerge out of the blue, like any other holders of extremist views.

When protesters are having to excuse themselves and the unintended perhaps unwarranted commotion they’ve caused, and have to pretend to be acting autonomously because they can’t make their case to their own colleagues, it’s a recipe for what happened here. Activists kowtowed and self-censored.

And so, how to ally yourself with such impediments? Coloradans For Peace has to cut the PPJPC out of the loop so long as its decision makers are so dominated by naysayers, pretenders, NVC appeasers, and a staff which reports their every intention to the police. You can’t even discuss strategy in such a circle.

Muddy wellies across white canvas

Oslo Opera Hus, i Norge
Norway prides itself on its ubiquitous and egalitarian middle class, making of its opera house a celebration of folkstheatre –and it’s no empty boast– Oslo newspapers address eight pages to culture versus one to sport. But I think the architects behind the glacier-slopped Oslo Opera House have struck with typical condescending Nordic sarcasm. Here is an in-edifice to high art on which the people can trod, on every last angle. Even if Scandinavian farmers are not inclined to attend opera performances, they can sight-see from the pretentious exterior. Idealists can assert this art reaches the Hoi Poloi, as it compels visitors to put it all underfoot. It’s form over substance, literally. The result presents aimless booted peasants looking like they wouldn’t know art if they stepped on it.

I can see the pretension to flatten the Sidney Opera House, crossed with Hong Kong harbor’s wreck of the Queen Mary II. The straight lines may have impressed on paper, but crawling over with masses, I see more a sinking white elephant.

The Well of apologism for Obama now seems endless and without limits

obamaLast night at work shortly after the New Year had arrived, I got into a conversation with my two co- workers who began to reprimand me for ‘not giving Barack Obama a chance’. …I was told that ‘he can’t do anything yet, he hasn’t even taken office!’

‘Give him time’, I was admonished.

Yeah, well…. ‘my country right or wrong’ was what I was thinking to myself. To these two very nice and sincere people it was perfectly understandable that Barack Obama somehow could not open his mouth.

Like DUH, Tony… can’t you understand that? Well, like DUH… NO, like I can’t!

What’s wrong with these people I wonder? To add another sample like this one to the narrative, I too was admonished by another friend a week or so previously, who addressed another listening in on us, with the sarcasm that ‘Tony wants a Cuba to be established here in the US’. He told this third person this line with a knowing smirk on his face. (Tony’s so extreme he’s off the wall completely… )

Like DUH, Tony… can’t you see that we must go slow, this is America and not your fantasy dreamland, Dude? Well, like DUH, I don’t understand your apologism for Obama acting completely like just Bush Lite? ‘Slick Willy’ Clinton acted like Bush Lite, too, and you got Bush #2 for it, did you not? Like, DUH!

These people got jobs so they are slow and careful… As my co-worker said to me during our ‘Don’t get impatient with Barack’ conversation…

‘Thank God we got jobs! Sure we hate the jobs we get, but at least we got them.’

I guess that about explains all. We got jobs still so we should give Obama a honeymoon until we lose them too.

‘This country is messed up, and it will take a while to fix things (once again)’, I was told.

Sure, right… My reply to that note was?

What makes you think Barack Obama wants to fix anything? (That never seemed to have crossed their minds!) They both looked rather perplexed at that point…

What makes YOU think that Barack wants to fix anything?

Dave and 911 fail Dale Carnegie at KRCC

911 is a lieCOLORADO SPRINGS- Events took a shrill turn at the KRCC open house this weekend. My friend Dave got evicted from the party. If Dave can gather any consolation, I’d say he’s entitled to feel he did everything he could for the cause. Some would say a more gentle tact would have been more effective, but I think that wisdom is debatable for the 911 TRUTH keepers.

My friend Dave is a tireless advocate for the real story behind 911. He shares an ever-darkening hope -my sense- that if only the truth got out about what happened at the World Trade Center on September 11, 2001, the whole Neocon ball of wax would melt like the towers, if steel can melt away like it did. Dave is so inflamed by the preposterousness of the lies supporting the official version of events, that he is determined to let no opportunity pass to raise his voice to cry foul.

Last Sunday, Dave’s chance was against Amy Goodman, host of Democracy Now!, who came to visit KRCC. DN!, like its corporate news competitors, does not dwell on revisiting 911. Goodman has interviewed the makers of Loose Change, but that has been it. I remember the last time Goodman visited the Springs someone was trying to buttonhole her about 911. (It might have been Dave!) This time, Dave began shouting accusations of Goodman being a “gatekeeper,” as she walked to the stage, basically of her participation in the coverup of the Neocon equivalent of the Reichstag Fire. What can I say, I agree, but I’d rather hope there are bigger fish to heckle. But none really are accessible, are they? So Amy Goodman was Dave’s mark and he was determined to interrupt her speech sooner than wait his turn to ask her pointed questions in person.

What happened however, was that KRCC staff came to herd Dave away. They surrounded him, to quiet his tone and engage him, probably it’s fair to say, by distraction. But he evaded them, trying to get into a videographer’s camera angle. Eventually one of the smaller of the radio staff, a small woman, got in his face, and Dave was gesturing against her with his index finger and speaking with such ferocity that spit was flying. He didn’t purposely spit on her, but word went around that he had, and for the rest of the staff that was enough. Picking on a small woman is going too far, although no one noted that Dave is a pretty small guy himself. They were probably equally matched. But I can add that I’ve come against this woman myself, and she holds no punches when it comes to patronizing sarcasm.

But I am biased in a couple familiar matters. Number one, I can sympathize with being up against this radio staff who will positively broke no alternate view. They are rigid in their sense of what their role is in the community. They seek to generate no complaints. They fear listeners who complain about something being changed. Listeners who complain about something they’d like to see changed, are addressing nothing the radio station has done, the input is uninvited. If allowed to lead to change, most certainly it will generate counter complaints. Ergo, no go. Also, almost uniformly, the radio staff are uninterested in the complexity of news issues. They therefore have no empathy for those who would contend with their news.

I wondered if the radio staff saw the irony that by stepping in to stop Dave, they were being gatekeepers too. Probably they do not even understand the term. They are protecting their little non-profit, “like anything, we have to run it like a business,” and don’t want to jeopardize being able to do what they do. For them it’s enough to be somebody’s favorite little station, as opposed to fighting the good fight, or saving the world. In their own way, with music shows, they do that. But others, who see the potential of their power, guarded for official use only, see the guards as gatekeepers.

I don’t blame the radio staff for calling security on Dave, and I do believe they handled him as gently and as reasonably as they could. I only wish they might have shown some sympathy afterward, instead of treating him like a loon.

In a second fashion, I really feel for Dave. He’s up against everyone, and it’s not his fault. Dave has studied the evidence, he refuses to live in the darkness of a dark lie, and he wants to make the truth known. Who doesn’t want that? And so he has to break the surface, disrupt everyone’s tidy and comfortable world view. And when a newsperson with the capability to reach millions stops by in the flesh, Dave has to try to get to her conscience. It’s not like Amy Goodman has not studied the 911 controversy. It’s not like a private conversation would have enlightened her to an unearthed development. Dave had to haunt her like a telltale heart, and hope that at the next appearances someone else of like-minded 911 spirit would haunt her there. Until I suppose, she would resolve to broach the subject once more on the air, and again and again, until the truth was exposed. This is what I imagine to be Dave’s hope.

I have another friend in that camp, who was thankfully more civil, and came away thinking perhaps eventually Amy Goodman would be an ally. I had to agree. I speculated with him what might have been her answer to Dave, if she’d been forced to give him a candid answer, which no doubt she is not free to give.

Here’s what we figured Yoda would tell Dave:

Many are the 911 Truth seekers, but greater are the forces behind the official 911 Commission Report. The official channels, have they, and the institutions and the mouthpieces, and the means to present the truth tellers as crazy ill-mannered maniacs (you Dave). Even exploit the inevitably real crazies to full effect they can, and paint the rest by association. Not enough 911 Truth soldiers are there with which to mount an attack. But other battles to fight, there are. Throw our energies into those arenas, we must.

Someday historians will sort this out. The truth behind historic events is never for contemporaries to know. Knowledge is power. Are you in power? The real knowledge then, was not yours. Believe what you want, but suffer the fate of Galileo if you insist on trying to shake the system to its destruction. Galileo tried to put the very infallibility of the church to flame. Hard to blame them for threatening to burn him. Be satisfied with knowing.

Dave, I think you are right. I’m a far less audacious man than you. I’m not much of a friend when I can’t step in to support you, although I can try to explain afterward that you are neither crazy, nor dangerous. You are plenty rude, but you are a likable, well motivated person, looking out for the well being of all.

Is promoting First Affirmative Financial Network promoting ‘economic sustainability’?

Financial sectionIs promoting the First Affirmative Financial Network actually promoting real ‘economic sustainability’? The reason I ask this, is that tonight the Justice and Peace group here in Colorado Springs is hosting the message of this FAFN group in the PPJPC offices downtown. The host (a paid PPJPC office staff member) is somebody that keeps pushing something he calls ‘sustainability, but has never defined what he means by this.

It seems now, that his idea of economic sustainability is having and/ or pushing a stock investment portfolio in so-called ‘green’ companies. Read The Gazette about this outfit Certified green

Yes, Yes. The Gazette is certainly a great champion of environmental causes, right? This color green keeps coming up with the PPJPC, does it not? So now it arises that the PPJPC is championing ‘green investment’ as the idea of how capitalism can solve earth’s problems. Wow! It’s great to have common cause with The Gazette on this one, for sure. That is sarcasm now.

The point is that there is a big difference between championing the environment and the championing the green washing of a certain sector of the corporate world. That is what the First Affirmative Financial Network is more about than anything else, but is the world going to be saved by pushing for people to make nicer investments? That is a totally doubtful idea, and is a simplistic strategy to help save the environment for future generations.

Is the Justice and Peace Commission to be nothing more than green-washing huggers for the city, the military, and a certain sector of the corporate world? I hope not, but that seems to be the direction that some in the PPJPC want to push the group, while keeping out real discussion about what saving the environment for future generations would actually entail.

A. Whitney Brown and The Big Picture

Saturday Night Live Weekend UpdateEvery year or so I search online to see what cartoonist Bill Watterson might have decided to do since putting Calvin and Hobbes to bed in 1995. I showed less diligence with another favorite social satirist whom I’m thrilled to discover has returned to the spotlight. He appeared reclusive, it turns out he’s been mouthing off to great effect on Daily Kos! I can’t describe my giddy thrill to see A. Whitney Brown and his insightful Big Picture again.

In the 1980s, A. Whitney Brown was the brilliant SNL Weekend Update contributor, the archetype for David Spade, waspish and unapproachably sharp. But Brown’s deadpan sarcasm and contrarian wit elevated the public discourse above the comedy, akin to Lenny Bruce or George Carlin, and spoke to the TV audience as if the truth mattered behind the current event.

Brown published a book based on his SNL segment, THE BIG PICTURE, which remains one of my favorite recommendations. As a used-bookstore owner, I know it sold well because there are a lot of copies still floating around. But like Jack Handy’s Deep Thoughts, or Allen Smith’s Life in a Putty Knife Factory, or Fran Lebowitz’s Metropolitan Life for that matter, the popularity of comedy books does not usually survive into succeeding decades. Whenever I see that a copy might have reached our 50¢ table, I snag it to take home. Today I’m going to revisit that stash and make sure to redistribute it with the good news.

You can catch Brown on YouTube, explaining why he still supports the troops. He’s been involved with Air America Radio, the Daily Show -of course, and his own projects at myeverything.com and more.

THE BIG PICTURE still has to my mind the most lucid explanation of the economic crime that is the National Deficit. Unless Brown can get his title back in print, I hope he releases it to the Gutenberg Project, to reach everyone again. Here’s a start:

We live in a nation of 25 million illiterates. I read that in USA Today. That’s a scary thought, one out of ten adult Americans can’t even read USA Today. What are they all going to do in life? They can’t all write for it. Maybe they can dictate the editorials.

—-A. Whitney Brown, The Big Picture

White Native Americans

A branch of our local library is hosting a discussion about a recent work of popular fiction, One Thousand White Women by Jim Fergus. I’m thinking of stopping by to puke.

The novel begins by alluding that its unspeakable historical premise has factual merit. ALLEGEDLY the author’s great great aunt, a “May Dodd”, left a journal about her life experience, hidden all these years in shame by her family. The author takes it upon himself to tell her repressed tale, and because it is the untold fate of 999 nameless more, we infer it to be one of the dark secrets of the American national identity.

The story concerns 1000 white women who were traded to the Indians in exchange for resettlement and peace. One thousand white women. The title does grab you. It has undeniable where-the-white-women-at? appeal.

Another prominant White IndianThe phenomena also shares something with the White Indian Series by Donald Porter. That’s a western series for readers who couldn’t be bothered to know about the lives of the Native Americans unless they were WHITE Native Americans. These readers can’t sympathize with Indians as victims, unless they are white Indian victims, and then preferably of course they should be white Indian victims of Indians.

The mythic white Indian abounds on film, and it’s not just Indians. The story of The Last Samurai had to be about a white man in Japan (Tom Cruise) or who would care?

Here you have the fate of 1000 women sold, sacrificed or let loose down the river to become Indian squaws. One part romantic fantasy, several parts feminist grudge, (1000 parts rape fetish?), all at the hands of red heathen.

To be fair, the author does provide a disclaimer that 1000 white women never changed hands. Fergus implies however that an original Cheyenne proposal to be given 1000 white women was real and asks readers to ponder, what if?

If true, it’s a piercing lesson on the embarrassing legacy that can come from sarcasm.

How deeply insulting is it to suggest that Indian tribal leaders would have asked the army negotiators for white women? And as a condition of laying down their weapons? I think it’s indescribably racist to be susceptible to thinking that Indian fathers and braves sought white mates with whom to raise new generations of their tribe.

Neither in-breeding nor poor education are excuses enough for this prevalent self-centered bigotry.

A first kiss

I watched a Buster Keaton film featuring a locomotive in the title role as THE GENERAL. It’s the silent comedy whose civil war settings took Keaton way over budget, flopped and ruined his career. In the sixties the film was rediscovered and is now hailed as one of the ten greatest films of all ever.

In my favorite scene, Buster and his long-time enamorada, damsel in distress whom he has just rescued, are being chased by Union soldiers in another train. Buster asks her to help feed wood into the boiler while he works the controls. At first she complies but perhaps tiring thinks to make herself useful tidying instead. When Buster turns and sees her sweeping, he admonishes her that the fire must be tended. Thereupon she walks to the tender and meticuously carries a smallish branch of wood over to the boiler oven, while Buster watches quite incredulous. He interrupts her before she can fetch another load, pointing to a chip of wood on the floor which he takes up and hands to her. She takes it oblivious to his sarcasm, dutifully opens the oven door, tosses it inside, and closes the door again. Buster now leaps to her neck as if to throttle her, and begins to shake her wildly until suddenly he kisses her smack on the lips. Then they release each other and resume their train chase.