Tim LaHaye. OK, so that says a LOT in just two words. I know what the Non-Christian opinion is, now for a Christian voice. The dude is selling a Study Bible with a fold out graphical timetable from the start of the tribulation to the Rapture to Armageddon, $49.99 on your credit card. The credit cards that many believe to be a form of The Mark of The Beast. Now, I’ve heard from somebody, oh, who was it, oh yeah, Solomon, hmmm… “Naked came I into this world, and naked shall I depart, I brought nothing in my hand, and shall take nothing away”. “you can’t take it with you” So, how does Mr LaHaye plan to transfer those funds to the Bank of Heaven? I’m pretty certain that his Visa is going to be rejected for insufficient funds. That and Visa will probably deny it anyway because they have a clause in the contract that you’re not allowed to use your card once you’re dead. And there’s a list of allowed countries where they’ll transfer funds, and I’m certain that Heaven isn’t on the list.

Once there’s a Rapture, if we do get taken out before everything starts getting scary, then all his money would be left to whom, exactly? All The Believers Will Be GONE. Who is going to collect the unclaimed funds? Hmm… The Government, perhaps? The one that’s to be headed by Beel-ze-bub in person? (they have to skip around in three separate books of the Bible to piece together the Rapture anyhow, it’s not in the Revelation.)

If there’s no Easy-Way-Out Free pass and we all have to face the tribulation full on, then any money we gave to Mr LaHaye is like, Gonzo, dude. And for the exact same reason.

One thing definitely going to be Left Behind is my money. And it’s more than the Left Behind series, and a King James Bible that costs less than 5 bucks to print up (I know because there’s a bunch of them on the market for $5) and no need to pay royalties for the contents either.

He’s got a bunch of books and the starting price seems to be $24.99. That means 20 of them would set me back a half grand.

There’s not much chance Rich Folks are the intended audience. So who does that leave (behind) to fork over the bread? Speaking as a Poor Person or at least Not Leisure Class person, I can confidently state that a half grand is not pocket change for quite a huge percentage of the intended audience. If he was pushing them onto people who DO consider a short stack of Benjamins to be Pocket Change then he’s leaving behind substantially more than 80% of the people of the world.

There’s a recognized sin in every church called Simony. Named for a person in the Book of the Acts of the Apostles named Simon Magus, and is the buying and selling of the Holy Ghost or trying to.

Perhaps Mr LaHaye should examine himself, with much prayer, to see if he’s crossed that line.

It’s kind of important to him.

There’s another pair of TV Preachers (one of my pastors called the entire concept “Hell-evangelism”.) selling a similar Bible, similar study guides, on Credit Cards instead of cash basis…

“a beautiful Heirloom quality Bible that will be cherished for generatio…” Say What? If WE are the last generation what non-future non-generation will inherit the book?

There’s a preacher joke, as in something you’ll hear from the pulpit, this guy is told by the angel that “It’s time, you’re going home”. The guy is rich, doesn’t want to leave ALL his riches, the angel rolls his eyes and says “Ok, we’ll let you take two small suitcases” The guy thinks “hmmm, fancy clothes? nah, I’m supposed to get the finest Haute Couture in all all the universe, that stash of diamonds, hmmm same thing… T-bills, nope, where would I cash them. Ah, I know, I’ll take those gold bars!”

So he hustles, packs his bags, tells the angel he’s ready, POOF! he’s passing through the pearly gates, angel hangs back to talk to St Peter, they hear an anguished cry…..

Angel and St Pete look at each other and Pete says “Yep, another one who realized he just brought up two boxes of pavement stones”.