But this ain’t one of them. I mean, Gitmo is still open, torture is still happening, the murderous God-damned wars for profit are still happening…. and he hasn’t managed to fix 30 years worth of pure destructive “trickle down free market” economic policies which favor only people willing and able to loot other peoples’ treasuries. But according to Right Wing bullshit-monger The Daily Caller, there’s a massive increase, (not true, the figure is less than half a percentage point) in pedestrian deaths. And that Michelle Obama is at fault because she encouraged kids to get out from in front of the TV and go for walks, exercise, do things for which the human body is geared. The “Debating” points… as reported at HuffPo:

Slight Uptick In Pedestrian Deaths Is Apparently Michelle Obama’s Fault
Jason Linkins jason@huffingtonpost.com

As Ashley Halsey III, in the Washington Post, reports:

It is the kind risk teenagers take: darting across six lanes of traffic, paying no mind to the flashing sign warning pedestrians to await the green light.

Wayne Cuffy and his buddies bolted across Landover Road on their way to the mall Tuesday night, a mistake that cost the 15-year-old his life when he stepped in front of a Ford Expedition at Dodge Park Road.

A terrible tragedy, to be sure, one that figures into new statistics from the Governor’s Highway Safety Administration, which finds that pedestrian deaths ticked upwards by a teensy 0.4 percent in 2010. And all of those deaths could have been prevented if only Michelle Obama hadn’t been encouraging Wayne Cuffy and his buddies to get out there and start exercising, right?

The Daily Caller is pretty sure they have this all figured out, anyway:

Pedestrian deaths increased sharply during the first half of 2010, according to the Governors Highway Safety Association (GHSA). The reason may be First Lady Michelle Obama and her “Let’s Move” campaign.

That’s right! While an intelligent read of everyone else’s reporting on the slight uptick in pedestrian deaths might lead you to conclude that more pedestrians are distracted by their iPods and smart-phones, or that pedestrians are growing more aggressive, The Daily Caller’s Amanda Carey is pretty sure that this is all being caused by that time Michelle Obama urged children, “Let’s Move!” as though she meant, “Let’s move right in front of some moving cars!”

Carey basically echoes this piece from the Washington Examiner, in which the executive director of GHSA discusses the extent to which Michelle Obama is to blame for people dying in the streets in a way that I would term “highly equivocal”:

GHSA executive director Barbara Harsha said her organization doesn’t know why there were more deaths in the first six months of 2010 than in 2009, but the increase is notable because overall traffic fatalities went down 8 percent during this period, and the increase ends four straight years of steady declines in pedestrian deaths.

But the “get moving” movement, led by Obama’s “Let’s Move” campaign to eliminate childhood obesity, could be to blame, Harsha told The Washington Examiner.

“There’s an emphasis these days to getting fit, and I think people doing that are more exposed to risk [of getting hit by a vehicle],” said Harsha, who conceded to having no scientific evidence that the Let’s Move campaign has led to an increase in walkers and runners, or deaths.

“This is all speculative,” Harsha said. “Obviously, further study is needed.”

Kids, before you exercise, remember to get yourself stretched out at least as far as the above stretches the meanings of words like “told” and “conceded.”

UPDATE: GHSA’s communications director, Jonathan Adkins, tells the Huffington Post: “Barbara Harsha was completely misquoted by the D.C. Examiner. Certainly, we don’t blame Mrs. Obama for the uptick in pedestrian deaths. In fact, we support “Get Moving” programs. We just want to ensure pedestrian safety.”

Meanwhile, deaths from heart disease — the nation’s leading killer of humans — were down considerably in 2010, beating expectations. Medical professionals, however, worry that these trends will be reversed if more isn’t done to stem the “twin epidemics of diabetes and obesity in young people.” So, yeah, maybe now isn’t the best time to conclude from the GHSA study that the safest thing you can do is sit on your couch all afternoon, stewing in your own filth and drinking ranch dressing straight from the bottle. But if you hate Michelle Obama, by all means, indulge

One of my liberal friends posted that to yet another left-wing forum, with the following commentary.

The last paragraph lays out the irony. These are the same folks who oppose health care because all those sick people did it to themselves by sitting on the couch eating Cheetoes.

I wrote one article in the Rants & Raves section of Craigslist pointing out the fact that even if the light hasn’t changed, a pedestrian in the crosswalk (or even jaywalking) Has The Right-Of-Way end of sentence period. Screaming out the passenger side of your best friends ride to the pedestrian “Hey, get the Fuck out of MY road” marks you as an idiot, for one thing, extremely childish, and a lawbreaker. Harassing other users of the road, no matter what vehicle they’re using, especially their feet, is not only socially retarded behavior, it’s illegal. Honking your stupid horn in any situation other than to signal an impending hazard is also illegal.

People who don’t bother to read those portions of the Drivers License Test and the accompanying manual shouldn’t be allowed to drive, in a civilized society.

Lucky for them we don’t have a civilized society. My post on Craigslist R&R got flagged. The person who replied to it by saying he would simply run over anybody in his mad rush to claim his non-existent Right of Way, and subsequently call the police to report it after he got home, (several crimes there, including murder)… His post wasn’t flagged.

Ehh… just goes to show we’ve got a lot of semi-educated Right Wing Morons in town.

But the Road Rage, fueled by Right Wing Talk Radio, that would be probably THE most significant factor in pedestrians getting hit.

If you’re crossing the street or even walking on the sidewalk parallel to the street and you hear a loud motor, AM radio playing and some idiot leaning on his horn and cursing, just realize that you’re witnessing a crime, AND that you and anybody else in reach of his vehicle are in danger.