TeaBags, Militia, Minutemen… get off your “Patriot” arse and donate your rifles to the Army. Uncle Sam needs YOU(r rifles)!
You silly bastards say you bought them, and keep buying more, for the “defense” of America, right? Against OTHER AMERICANS of course.
But the Army says it needs more high powered rifles, you know, the ones that you buy to make yourselves feel less pathetic and weak and victimierrr ummm.. “More Macho”.(strong hint: you can’t buy manhood… if you could George Bush and Karl Rove and Glenn Beck would have already bought up all the available supply.) My cousin Hank was assigned to a detail burning a warehouse filled with New, still-in-the-packing-grease AK47s in Iraq after GulfWarz One.

One of several. They put Willy Peter (W. P. = white phosphorous) which burns hot enough to melt concrete,throughout the warehouse.
For the longest time the Russians were practically giving them away, $50 to offset shipping and handling + a promise that you would use them to make trouble.

People sell them at gun shows starting at $200 apiece.
Usually, the Pentagon pays premium prices for essentially Garbage. Like the M16. I fired that one in the Air Force. Piece of Shit doesn’t do it justice. One reason was the M1 Garand and it’s derivatives, like the M14, could chamber and fire Russian ammunition. Which is a couple of microns shorter in the shell than the American .30 caliber. More or less. The shell is smaller, the slug isn’t. Bottom line, if a GI captured an AK in the many many many Non-Declared Wars like VietNam, Algeria,, Korea, etc.
It would be extra weight to carry around because once you popped off the remaining shells in the magazine, your Government Issue .30 cal rounds wouldn’t fit the chamber.

Russian ammo was a subscription-only service.

Part of the selling points for the M16 was that nobody else’s ammo fit it. You buy the rifles for an ungodly expensive price, then you sell the immortal souls of all your soldiers to Colt Arms for the Purina Gun Chow.

So, now, the Army in it’s Infinite let-us-buy-bullshit Financial Wisdom, discovers they need new guns. Those of you who bought Korean and Algerian era M1 and M14 rifles for cheap once the Army had Reduction In Force measures and dumped them onto the Surplus market, you know those rifles still worked and still DO work perfectly for their assigned tasks. Which is of course Killing People. There’s a bunch of Mausers, in the same caliber used by the AK, made for trade to the Spanish Civil War, you can buy for 25-40 bux apiece if you buy them by the hundred lot. Still work perfectly. The Afghans and the Pakistan traders had a field day with them using them against the Soviets. Probably about half the sniper rifles being used against the Invaders and Occupiers oops I mean “Liberators and Nation-builders” are of that grade.

Mauser, unlike Colt, NEVER made anything that was a cheap piece of shit.

The Army was paying (in 1979) $700 per each for M16 rifles new in the package.
Colt made a “killing” on them and by selling them to our “satellites” like VietNam and the Puppet Shah Mohamed Reza Pahlavi. The marketing line: You want Our Military Support, you buy Our Hardware.

Didn’t work for those WW2 mess kits, you know the ones? They were designed to fit on your web belt rather than any practical functionality. They’re an oblong almost ovoid shape instead of round, which would be an actually intelligent piece of engineering. The War Department also bought about 10 of them for each GI during the war. You can’t cook in the skillet portion of it, well, you can, but it will wind up making the GI chow taste even worse. Because of the shape, uneven heat distribution.

Soldiers in Algeria and VietNam would buy the French mess kits which are actually round. Thank God for a nation whose National Pastime is cooking.

The appropriate answer to “Who shit in YOUR mess-kit?” well, the War Department did. Before they were even made.
And the same with the rifles.

So, all you “Patriots”, do the Right (wing) thing. Give the Army your AK47s that you bought for cheap on the surplus market, and your M1 and M14 rifles you bought the same way. You got several Taxpayer Subsidized price breaks on them. Don’t forget to give them your shells. Purina Gun Chow is mighty expensive.

Otherwise the Army will do what they usually do and get Ripped Off by the “defense” contractors. Ripped off for OUR tax money.

You remember Taxes, right? The stuff you’re opposed to even though the Military you love so much is the main drain on Tax money? Yeah, THOSE taxes.

I plumb reckon, however, that you ain’t gonna also ENLIST or anything like that. How foolish of me to actually consider the notion that you ChickenHawk Losers would do something like that. You prefer to hang around in America, waving your machine guns and threatening American Liberals. Because your ChickenHawk Propaganda leaders at DumFox Noose Nutwerx assured you that Liberals are unarmed and also weaklings. Guess it’s easier trying to make war on people you think won’t shoot back, RIGHT?

Summation: You sorry bastards want a war, you want to kill, but you don’t want to give YOUR service or YOUR money over to the maintenance of the Wars of Conquest which benefit none but your Corporate Masters. So for the first time in your miserable misspent lives, do the Right Thing and send them your guns.

It’s the least you can do. Your kids will breathe easier knowing that Daddy isn’t going to get into one of his Screaming Fits about Liberals and accidentally (or perhaps not) shoot them.

It’s much easier to breathe when you don’t have bullets in your lungs.