Tag Archives: Honeypot

Articles out of context for the nefarious purpose of extracting web surfers from their context.

Your father’s Lili Marlene, specifically

On the subject of historical misconceptions, you might say I’m hugely sentimental. So the tale of Lili Marlene catches me up like a honey trap. What does the name conjure for you? A Nazi Mata Hari? A fictional musical persona beloved by soldiers on both sides of the Good War? While even antiwar sentiments wax nostalgic about its universal love-conquers-all popularity, the WWII melody evokes romantic memories fueled by dueling propagandas. And when a victorious meme writes the history, it can erase its footprints, leading from what was effectively a literary rape.

A recent folk reference for example, an otherwise impeccably adroit Lili Marlene Walks Away, about Marlene the streetwalker, leaves me just sick in the heart.

The historical narrative has it that Lili Marlene was actually Lili and Marleen, two girlfriends for whom German soldier Hans Liep pined from the trenches of WWI. With unchivalrous poetic license Liep conflated the two and penned a love poem as it might have been written to him, “signed, Lili Marleen.” Two decades later a German composer set the words to music and then came the outbreak of the next war. The original recording by Lale Anderson was a flop until broadcasts to the front lines over Radio Belgrade captivated homesick Wehrmacht soldiers and eventually the lovelorn battling on both sides. Lili Marlene emerged the most popular song of all time, translated in as many languages as fought in the war. Was this owed to a universal empathy toward the pangs of love, or was it the appeal of a truly catchy melody and lyrics carefully crafted to suit the moment? And how did Lili’s character become redefined?

For the German audience, the character of Lili Marlene did not change. For some the song lost its sheen for having been co-opted by the Third Reich war machine. But even as the singer’s living embodiment of “Lili Marleen” became tarnished by her Faustian-won fame, the title role of “Lili” remained the non-fictional love interest with whom her soldier lover spent every furtive off-duty moment, revisited in memory and in anticipation. Concurrent translations across the European continent stuck to the same essential theme, owing no doubt to listeners being in the main multilingual. They understood enough of the original German not to be sold another Lili Marlene. English was another story, but the Allies didn’t start it.

Nazi propaganda minister Joseph Goebbels at first banned the song because he saw it as demoralizing to soldiers enduring the deprivations of war. He referred to Lili Marlene as “The tearjerker with the death-dance smell” until its popularity reached a critical mass even he couldn’t stop. When opposing forces seemed also to succumb to the song’s wiles, Goebbels sought to intensify the poison’s venom.

The original German lyric was written in an ambiguous voice, either that of the soldier or his faithful girl, revisiting their every last moment together and the promise of more. Even as the imagery may have been accepted as a soldier’s fantasies, the singer’s female gender was consistent with the voice of his lover’s reassurances. As a result, the original singer came to personify the character Lili Marleen. For soldiers of every side the voice they heard was that of “Lili Marlene.”

The popular account goes that when Allied soldiers were observed singing along to Radio Belgrade, an English lyric was ordered post haste lest American GIs and British Tommies be singing in German. Rarely mentioned is that the seduction interrupted had been in English.

A recent compilation of nearly 200 different renditions of Lili Marlene gives an unprecedented look into the WWII propaganda battle waged over control of the Lili Marlene narrative. Many of the key recordings have reached Youtube.

When the Germans surmised that Allied soldiers wanted to do more than whistle along, a lyric was devised for them which changed the ambiguity of the narrator to the first person. YOUR Lili Marleen became MY Lili Marlene. And oddly, but for reasons un-mysterious obviously, the vocalist remained a woman. The English version was supposed to be a translation after all, and no one was under any illusion that the song’s original appeal with soldiers was not owed to the enchantment of the chanteuse.

The plodding, dripping sentimentality of the melody also lent well to marches. Lili Marleen, in English, Marlene, was an ideal tonic for a war long on effort and deprivation.

An American GI today could still be forgiven for hearing Lili Marlene and saying: those aren’t the lyrics I remember. Late and post war USO tours effaced the earlier Nazi radio broadcasts. There was a German English version before the British and American after that, when Lili of the home front became the seductress became the whore.

If the song conjures an American image at all, it’s Marlene Dietrich, who subsequently claimed the song for her own, perhaps why it’s named Marlene and not Marleen, I don’t know. But her vampy rendition colors interpretations to this day. An American film star from the 30s, Dietrich is still mistakenly remembered as a reformed German double agent, possibly the Axis Sally propagandist who originated her namesake song. To my mind, familiarity would be the only reason to favor Dietrich’s rendition of Lili Marlene. The original 1938 German and its first English incarnation in 1942 were both by Lale Andersen, easily the most moving. But Marlene Dietrich wasn’t selling love, or was, to be more precise.

The lyric to the original German recording translates thus:

In front of the barracks, in front of the main gate,
Stood a lamppost, if it stands there still,
So will we see each other there again,
By the lamppost we’ll stand,
As before, Lili Marleen. As before, Lili Marleen.

Our two shadows looked like one.
That we were so much in love, at a glance anyone could see.
And everyone will see it,
When we stand by the lamppost,
As before, Lili Marleen. As before, Lili Marleen.

(The motif of female narrator was conceded by a 1943 BBC propaganda rerecording made for broadcast back to Germany. Instead of a love song, the lyric became a war-weary rant where a hoarse-throated middle-aged “Lili” calls for an uprising against Hitler. Loosely translated it went:

Maybe you’ll die in Russia, maybe you’ll die in Africa,
You will die somewhere, that’s what your Führer wants.
But if you see us again, where will this lamppost be?
In another Germany.
Your Lili Marleen.

The Führer is a oppressor, that’s what we all see,
Making every child an orphan, every woman a widow,
It’s all his fault, I want to see? him at the lamppost,
Hang him up at the lamppost.
Your Lili Marleen.

)

The German propagandists were more insidious with their subversion of Andersen’s 1942 recording, sticking closely to the original setting, shifting the narrator squarely to the male, relegating Lili not just to the third person but to the past, and interjecting heaping doses of sentimentality:

Underneath the lantern, by the barrack gate,
There I met Marleen every night at eight.
That was a time in early Spring,
When birds all sing, then love was king
Of my heart and Marleen’s, of my heart and Marleen’s.

The next verse begins with a cringe-worthy overstep of a military put-down, perhaps however to divert critical faculties from the real manipulation. Even though the song is now in English, the soldiers expect it serves German propaganda. Disarmed by the amateurish mocking of “retreat,” the listener is vulnerable as the rest of the lyric preys on a soldier’s insecurity about his sweetheart’s fidelity, the longer the war years become interminable. The subject is the usual propaganda leaflet fare, but animated with the potency of music. Faithful “as before” became “time would part” Marlene.

Waiting for the drumbeat, signaling retreat,
Walking in the shadows, where all lovers meet.
Yes those were days of long ago,
I loved her so, I couldn’t know
That time would part Marleen, that time would part Marleen.

The pace leadens to deliver the fatal pronouncement, again the anticipation of reunion becomes perseveration and lament:

When I heard the bugle, calling me away,
By the gate I kissed her, kissed her tears away.
And by the flick’ring lantern’s light,
I held her tight, t’was our last night,
My last night with Marleen, my last night with Marleen.

The last verse repeats the first, which I omitted earlier. It’s a call to action, obviously absent the original, “Now is the time-” meaning desertion into the aforementioned shadows, “to meet your-” and I must admit to be unsure of a transcription. From Andersen’s accent to the unclear recording quality of her backup chorus, it’s difficult to determine whom Lili wants the soldier to meet. “Your girl” and two other words which rhyme with girl, the first begins with P, the last with S.

Still I hear the bugle, hear its silv’ry call,
Carried by the night air, telling one and all:
Now is the time to meet your pearl,
To meet your girl, to meet your soul,
As once I met Marleen, my sweet Lili Marleen.

Your girl, not Lili Marleen. She’s gone, a love lost to regret. In their German-accented affected English, the male chorus appeared to provide a mocking echo “Now is the time to meet your death.”

Needless to say it was imperative that while Radio Belgrade reached the English and American soldiers in North Africa and Italy, the Allies had to record an antidote. A first version by a Brit kept with the romantic original:

In the dark of evening, where you stand and wait,
Hangs a lantern gleaming by the barrack gate.
We’ll meet again by lantern shine
As we did once upon a time.
We two Lili Marlene, we two Lili Marlene.

Our shadows once stood facing, a tall one and a small.
They mingled in embracing, upon the lighted wall.
And passers by could see and tell
Who kissed my shadow there so well:
My girl Lili Marlene, my girl Lili Marlene.

But that didn’t address the problem of demoralization, Goebbels’ original concern shared by military commanders no matter which side: soldiers overtaken by depression.

Plus the Allies needed less a song about the girl back home than one about the German lass awaiting the Yankee conqueror. Who are we kidding? Lili Marlene’s German voice did not invoke thoughts of home so much as a foreign woman taunting, however innocent, from behind enemy lines. Eventually those lands would be overrun, her lover to die in their defense, Lili to await the last man standing. How many soldiers listened to Radio Belgrade and did not fantasize about cuckolding their adversary with his beloved Lili Marlene? The Allied troops needed a Lili of not-unfaithful character, but one available to them. It was no big leap for an American lyricist to transform Fritz’s Lili, faithfully waiting for him under the lamppost, to “Lili of the Lamplight,” the only type of German woman with whom American GIs would be able to get near, a prostitute.

Underneath the lantern by the barrack gate,
Darling I remember the way you used to wait.
Twas there that you whispered tenderly
That you loved me, you’d always be
My Lili of the lamplight, my own Lili Marlene.

You’ll always be mine? My love? No, my lover by the lamplight. In the new scheme, the mentions of love and tears become sublimated by kisses, caresses, whispers of tender nothings and feet waiting in the street. Sung to the Allied troops as they marched unto Berlin by a husky voiced vamp. That’s your Lili Marlene.

The mosquito ringtone

My little girls just shared an amazing secret with me. High frequency mosquito ringtones are being used by kids to receive calls and text messages in school, movie theaters, the dinner table, and other off-limit locales. Most adults over 30 can’t hear the ringtones due to presbycusis, a fancy medical term for old ears. The piercing sounds were originally used by British shopkeepers to keep loitering teens at bay, but kids have discovered how to use the teen repellent to their advantage. So clever!
 
The kids and I tried this over and over at different frequencies. I couldn’t hear anything except their squeals of laughter.
 
This is supposed to be a great boon for teens. But with a household of cell-toting young ones, it sounds like a win-win to me!

Troglytes beneath us

Star Trek cloud minder living above Troglytes 
We’ve bred our worker class, Troglytes with no aspiration to look any further than their noses. I saw three gathered at a Starbucks. They’re here.

It was at one of those Starbucks inside a supermarket. They were killing time, standing by the counter, neither consuming anything, nor on the way anywhere it appeared. They kept company with a “Barista” on the clock.

Nothing new I suppose, except I became struck by their passive homogeneity. We are breeding them, this underling class. They’re pudgy, sloppily attired, hands in pockets, quiet, smug, flat footed, close cropped, coming and going from home and TV probably, or another Starbucks. I’ll add too, poor eyesight and terrible complexions but that could just reflect their unassuming, un-charismatic personalities. Their quality of life is their workplace decor, but they miss nothing because we’ve fashioned them with the brains of their parents, fetal alcohol syndrome, pseudo-education, uncritical thinking, squashed expectations, and monosyllabic vocabularies. Give them their pot if they insist on it.

So long as they lower their eyes when we pass, do we care?

Another gay battlefield

One million hate filled Fundamentalist Christians marching in a demonstration against Satan inspired homosexuals? A projected festival of 3 million Gays and friends and family of this segment of society to follow? Moo… Yes, Dorothy, we are not in Kansas any more. Gays have our support in their battle against the Religious Nuts who want to crucify them, whether it be in the US, Nigeria, Moscow, or Brazil.

From Dallas to Dubai, Oh Why?

How was it that my former employer, Halliburton, has floated from Dallas to Houston to now, Dubai? JR, where are you? You left the ranch!

Youngsters might not have ever seen the US’s favorite soap opera of all time, ‘Dallas’, where JR Ewing was owner of Ewing Oil? For years fans made pilgrimage’s to the ranch, Southfork (read South forked tongue), where JR reigned supreme in this sappy TeleFantasy. JR is now our vice presdent (in real life) and his company is called Halliburton, a major source of corruption throughout the world as well as in the White House.

When Dick Cheney was getting his start, it consisted of buying up Dresser Industries in Dallas, where I worked as a production machinist way back in the early ’80s. The company made oil field equipment and used a lot of asbestos in its production. Cheney gobbled up the company for Halliburton at cut rate prices, thinking for sure that his high connections would get the company off very easy from all the workers and their families suing the outfit for exposing them to this deadly substance. He was right, the injured workers had to settle for pennies as they begin to die off. Halliburton had filed for bankruptcy!

As we all well know, this evil company headed by Satan (Dick Cheney) has risen from Hell to infect the world once again with its sin. Most notably in Iraq, where it has taken the US tax payer to the cleaners, as literally billions have disappeared under its watch. Might there be liability of some form ahead? Plus, the company has ripped off various cleanup funds for hurricane hit areas, most notably Katrina, but also including other storms. Halliburton is corruption personified.

But wait! This All American company has just relocated to Dubai, one of the 9 emirates that make up the United Arab Emirates. You might think this all logical, as so the company maintians due to Dubai being the center of the world’s major oil producing region? But only about 7% of the economic activity of Dubai is related to oil. The main source of income is from tourism! Yes, tourism.

I know, I know. You are probably sick of visitng Disneyland and Las Vegas, and have suggested to yoour husband or wife or Significant Other,

‘Hey, why don’t we vacation in Dubai this year?’

And they might have whined n response. ‘Dubai?’

Yes, Dubai. Let us tell you why, Dubai!

You see, Dubai is about 1 million population, making it 1/3 of the population of the UAE’s 9 emirates. But there are 3 times more men than women living there. What gives? And who are these folk?

Well, only less than 20% of them have citizenship. Huh? Well, basically Dubai’s small citizenry live in a gated community like those gated communities found in upper class enclaves in Dallas and Houston. The 80% plus of other residents are ‘servants’. Or to be more exact, many of them are basically slaves. It’s kind of like Texas, but even more Texas than the original.

Dick Cheney and his cohorts at Halliburton will feel just fine there. English is the language of the schools, and also the language of business. It’s a dictatorship, theocracy, and a Kingdom. Plus, the banking laws are just right! What liability?

But most of all, it is the sex capital of the region! Non citizen ‘guest workers’ automatically have their passports confiscated by the police upon entering The Emirate. That includes female ‘guest workers’ especially. That’s what makes tourism supreem in Dubai! ‘Businessmen’ come from worldwide for Dubai’s beaches and its uh?, nightlife. Got the picture?

Check out this documentary on Dubai’s trade in slave flesh. Made by concerned Armenians, no less.
Desert Nights‘. It is 45 minutes long, more or less, and gets more interesting as it goes. Perhaps you wanted to visit Bangcock? But why not follow the Halliburton executive crowd and get to know the slaves of Dubai instead?

Coahuila, gay marriage capital of Mexico!

While the NFL was promoting male chocolate wrestling during its halftime, Mexico’s PRI (Partido Revolutionario Institucional) decided to try to make its image gayer, Moo.

The PRI is the party of long time Mexican dictatorship, and suffers from shall we say?… a poor marketing image? So how to deal with that and contrast themselves as hot compared to their stodgy Catholic companions, the PAN? They decided in Coahuila to allow gay marriages!

That’s like if Idaho or Arizona’s state governments were to do such a thing here in the US. Plus, it helps the tourist trade in economically depressed Saltillo, the state capital. Look out Las Vegas! It will become a gay Mecca.

Saltillo is the new sin city of North America! Andale! But who the hell is ever going to see the PRI as the party of Mexican liberalism?

Dept. of Homeland Stupidity to play again in Super Bowl this weekend

How many American clowns does it take to screw on a light bulb? Heck, I don’t know, but I do know part of the answer to how many police/military agencies it takes to play Homeland Stupidity at the Super Bowl this weekend!

I’ve been making up some stuff recently but this one is for real. According to the US Customs and Border Protection, they will be one of 30 federal agencies there, but they did not state the number of state and local uniformed clowns that will show up. We can only guess? No naked breasts this year though, so you might want to rent a tape in that Department, or you women/ your women will just be watching the tight ends.

The Borriello Brothers secret ingredient

The best pizza in Colorado Springs is made by the Borriello Brothers at the foot of General Palmer’s statue, on Platte Avenue between Nevada and Webber, across from Palmer High School.

I followed some fans from a YMCA basketball game and was warned that addiction would ensue. I can report only that they were right, and I have no idea as to the secret ingredient. I think it’s cheese. I felt like a loser not knowing which delicacies to request for the toppings, but I followed the youngsters’ request for plain cheese pizza. Now there’s no turning back, it’s plain cheese for me, and from nobody but the Borriello Brothers.

Now if they could use only non-BGH dairy products and whole grain ground wheat, I could feel good about my new diet.

The Democrats’ masochistic bondage games with Dubya and Dick

All the press is gaga about the conclusions of the Iran Study Group Report, but what is this thing? It is more than just Republican James Baker the the Third pronouncing his so very esteemed judgements about the fighting.

What we have here is the most climaxic portion of the Democratic Party’s bondage game with the Bush Adminstration, where Hillary and Nancy Pelosi get to play their masochistic roles to the hilt! …. Yes! Hit them harder, Dub! Oh…. Whip it quick, Dick!

Wimp Howard Dean and DP head announced pre-election that this Democratic Party bondage game would be continued to be played no matter what, but nobody liberal believed him. But then Nancy Pelosi came along and appointed Silvestre Reyes to be top dog of the House Intelligence Committee. Within a day or two, Silvestre the Cat was calling for not a withdrawal of US troops from Iraq, but yet more to be sent in. Whip them Dubya. Whip them Dick. Pelosi is loving you hard.

To add to this extreme level of masochism by the Democratic Party, they agreed to sit in with Baker the Third and cochair the Iran Study Thing with Republican pirate, Baker the Third. Conclusion? We need to stay in there longer. Ouch! But it is such a controversial form of masochism for the Democrats to say that, too. I have never seen such a tolerance for punishment!

The report also called with getting buddy buddy with Iran and Syria to soothe the perversion in Iraq down just a bit, but Dick and Dubya want to flail those two countries apart, too. Masochists like the Democratic Party leadership can never top well from down below, it seems. Plus, Nancy and Hillary are playing with these sadist savages, Dick and Dubya, without seemingly ever having decided on a ‘safe’ word like, Out Now! Guys! It Hurts too much!

The new prurience in men’s magazines

The new non nude nudie mags 
FHM, STUFF, MAXIM, RAZOR, et al.
Porn is back at the 7-11. It’s the resurgence of clean porn to counter the free-for-all no-holes-barred internet, just like Hugh Hefner’s Playboy Magazine put glossy clean brakes on the sexual revolution.

The old gloss coat nudies 
Hef put a gloss coat on the age-old girly magazine and put it unto the coffee table, Guccione dirtied it up with Penthouse and put it back under the mattress and Flynt left no fig leaf unturned with Hustler and put pornography right back in the garage. But after the ugly fin de siecle the puritans are back.

Now we have the nouveau prurient clothed seductresses. Here little flesh is revealed that is not already displayed on every popular magazine cover. Naked media stars, but covered. That’s another story, nudity in fashion magazine magazines.

Today’s men’s magazine’s entice but don’t deliver, they tease, and apparently that’s enough. In the porn heydays of the seventies, the magazines were owned by independent publishers. You could say “I read Playboy for the articles” and it’d be true. Many anti-establishment stories could only see daylight through the independent press. But the magazines today belong to the publishing empires which belong to the advertizing empires which belong to the consumer goods empire. You can’t use sex to sell anything if the boys are getting the sex. Visually at least.

The curious aspect of the today’s bathroom reading for boys is the lack of sexual depth. It’s all surface. It’s curves and titilation without a sense of anything lying beneath, inside, beyond. It’s beads of water, not sweat.

Surface and complexion is all that matters. Breast implants don’t matter because they’ll be under wrap. You’re not going to keep them, you’re not even going to undress them. Knock them against the bathroom door at the nightclub, disrobe them in the darkness at her place, you’ll be gone before it’s light. Only the visual coutour matters.

To whom? The virgin spectator.

Mini Metro-Mite

Metro-Mite saves you money
One of my most cherished possessions, a 1963 International Harvester Metro-Mite, here disguised as a delivery step van the size of a children’s toy passing for a promotional piggy bank pretending to be for a kid.
 
I can’t find the facsimile right now so I have to settle for this picture.

Songs banned by Clear Channel radio stations

As part of the project to mirror web resource material that the media would otherwise hope to bury, here is the list of music recordings which Clear Channel banned from the airwaves of its enormous network of radio stations. On the heels of 9/11, Clear Channel asserted these songs had “questionable content.”

Drowning Pool “Bodies”
Mudvayne “Death Blooms”
Megadeth “Dread and the Fugitive,” “Sweating Bullets”
Saliva “Click Click Boom”
P.O.D. “Boom”
Metallica “Seek and Destroy,” “Harvester or Sorrow,” “Enter Sandman,”
“Fade to Black”
All Rage Against The Machine songs
Nine Inch Nails “Head Like a Hole”
Godsmack “Bad Religion”
Tool “Intolerance”
Soundgarden “Blow Up the Outside World”
AC/DC “Shot Down in Flames,” “Shoot to Thrill,” “Dirty Deeds”
“Highway to Hell,” “Safe in New York City,” “TNT,” “Hell’s Bells”
Black Sabbath “War Pigs,” “Sabbath Bloody Sabbath,” “Suicide Solution”
Dio “Holy Diver”
Steve Miller “Jet Airliner”
Van Halen “Jump”
Queen “Another One Bites the Dust,” “Killer Queen”
Pat Benatar “Hit Me with Your Best Shot,” “Love is a Battlefield”
Oingo Boingo “Dead Man’s Party”
REM “It’s the End of the World as We Know It”
Talking Heads “Burning Down the House”
Judas Priest “Some Heads Are Gonna Roll”
Pink Floyd “Run Like Hell,” “Mother”
Savage Garden “Crash and Burn”
Dave Matthews Band “Crash Into Me”
Bangles “Walk Like an Egyptian”
Pretenders “My City Was Gone”
Alanis Morissette “Ironic”
Barenaked Ladies “Falling for the First Time”
Fuel “Bad Day”
John Parr “St. Elmo’s Fire”
Peter Gabriel “When You’re Falling”
Kansas “Dust in the Wind”
Led Zeppelin “Stairway to Heaven”
The Beatles “A Day in the Life,” “Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds,”
“Ticket To Ride,” “Obla Di, Obla Da”
Bob Dylan/Guns N Roses “Knockin’ on Heaven’s Door”
Arthur Brown “Fire”
Blue Oyster Cult “Burnin’ For You”
Paul McCartney and Wings “Live and Let Die”
Jimmy Hendrix “Hey Joe”
Jackson Brown “Doctor My Eyes”
John Mellencamp “Crumbling Down.” “I’m On Fire”
U2 “Sunday Bloody Sunday”
Boston “Smokin”
Billy Joel “Only the Good Die Young”
Barry McGuire “Eve of Destruction”
Steam “Na Na Na Na Hey Hey”
Drifters “On Broadway”
Shelly Fabares “Johnny Angel”
Los Bravos “Black is Black”
Peter and Gordon “I Go To Pieces,” “A World Without Love”
Elvis “(You’re the) Devil in Disguise”
Zombies “She’s Not There”
Elton John “Benny & The Jets,” “Daniel,” “Rocket Man”
Jerry Lee Lewis “Great Balls of Fire”
Santana “Evil Ways”
Louis Armstrong “What A Wonderful World”
Youngbloods “Get Together”
Ad Libs “The Boy from New York City”
Peter Paul and Mary “Blowin’ in the Wind,” “Leavin’ on a Jet Plane”
Rolling Stones “Ruby Tuesday”
Simon And Garfunkel “Bridge Over Troubled Water”
Happenings “See You in Septemeber”
Carole King “I Feel the Earth Move”
Yager and Evans “In the Year 2525”
Norman Greenbaum “Spirit in the Sky”
Brooklyn Bridge “Worst That Could Happen”
Three Degrees “When Will I See You Again”
Cat Stevens “Peace Train,” “Morning Has Broken”
Jan and Dean “Dead Man’s Curve”
Martha & the Vandellas “Nowhere to Run”
Martha and the Vandellas/Van Halen “Dancing in the Streets”
Hollies “He Ain’t Heavy, He’s My Brother”
San Cooke Herman Hermits, “Wonder World”
Petula Clark “A Sign of the Times”
Don McLean “American Pie”
J. Frank Wilson “Last Kiss”
Buddy Holly and the Crickets “That’ll Be the Day”
John Lennon “Imagine”
Bobby Darin “Mack the Knife”
The Clash “Rock the Casbah”
Surfaris “Wipeout”
Blood Sweat and Tears “And When I Die”
Dave Clark Five “Bits and Pieces”
Tramps “Disco Inferno”
Paper Lace “The Night Chicago Died”
Frank Sinatra “New York, New York”
Creedence Clearwater Revival “Travelin’ Band”
The Gap Band “You Dropped a Bomb On Me”
Alien Ant Farm “Smooth Criminal”
3 Doors Down “Duck and Run”
The Doors “The End”
Third Eye Blind “Jumper”
Neil Diamond “America”
Lenny Kravitz “Fly Away”
Tom Petty “Free Fallin'”
Bruce Springsteen “I’m On Fire,” “Goin’ Down”
Phil Collins “In the Air Tonight”
Alice in Chains “Rooster,” “Sea of Sorrow,” “Down in a Hole,”
“Them Bone”
Beastie Boys “Sure Shot,” “Sabotage”
The Cult “Fire Woman”
Everclear “Santa Monica”
Filter “Hey Man, Nice Shot”
Foo Fighters “Learn to Fly”
Korn “Falling Away From Me”
Red Hot Chili Peppers “Aeroplane,” “Under the Bridge”
Smashing Pumpkins “Bullet With Butterfly Wings”
System of a Down “Chop Suey!”
Skeeter Davis “End of the World”
Rickey Nelson “Travelin’ Man”
Chi-Lites “Have You Seen Her”
Animals “We Gotta Get Out of This Place”
Fontella Bass “Rescue Me”
Mitch Ryder and the Detroit Wheels “Devil with the Blue Dress”
James Taylor “Fire and Rain”
Edwin Starr/Bruce Springstein “War”
Lynyrd Skynyrd “Tuesday’s Gone”
Limp Bizkit “Break Stuff”
Green Day “Brain Stew”
Temple of the Dog “Say Hello to Heaven”
Sugar Ray “Fly”
Local H “Bound for the Floor”
Slipknot “Left Behind, Wait and Bleed”
Bush “Speed Kills”
311 “Down”
Stone Temple Pilots “Big Bang Baby,” “Dead and Bloated”
Soundgarden “Fell on Black Days,” “Black Hole Sun”

Best cookie ever

All your bases are belong to usWhen Consumer Reports Magazine set out to rate commercial chocolate chip cookies against each other, they needed a benchmark. To that end they hired professional bakers to optimize a chocolate chip cookie recipe. Because the cookie itself was a cultural convention, it was perhaps no surprise that reverse engineering backed them into the conventional Tollhouse Cookie recipe. But with a couple twists.

First, the use of dark brown sugar as opposed to regular, second, the addition of vanilla extract, third, unsalted sweet butter, and fourth, particular care in mixing the ingredients.

It wasn’t as simple as throwing everything into the bowl. Each addition would be mixed at slow speed for a specified time with a high speed burst at the end. Texture seemed to make the critical distinction. If you’re going to start now, you’ll have to wait until the butter is room temperature.

What follows is the CONSUMER REPORTS recipe, first published in 1982.

We wanted a cookie with a chewy interior, crunchy edges, well-blended flavor, and a high overall chocolate impact . –Consumer Reports Magazine

2-1/4 Cups Flour
1 level Teaspoon Baking Soda
1 level Teaspoon Salt
3/4 Cup White Sugar
3/4 Cup Packed Dark Brown Sugar
2 sticks (1/2 pound) Sweet Butter, room temperature
1 teaspoon Vanilla Extract
2 Large Eggs
12-ounce Semisweet Chocolate Chips

Preheat oven to 375F.

Mix the flour, baking soda and salt in a bowl and set aside.

Use a stand-type electric mixer to mix the two sugars briefly at low speed.

Add the butter in small gobbets, mixing first at low speed and then at high. Beat the mixture until it’s pale, light, and very fluffy. Add the vanilla at the mixer’s lowest speed, then beat at high speed for a few seconds.

Add the eggs, again at the lowest speed, switching to high speed for the final second or so. The eggs should be well beaten in, and the mix should look creamed, not curdled.

Add the flour mixture, a half cup at a time, mixing at low speed for about one minute, then at high speed for a few seconds.

Scrape down the bowl’s sides with a spatula, add the chocolate chips, and mix at low speed for about 10 seconds. If need be, scrape the bowl’s sides again and mix for a few more seconds.

Put tablespoons of the mix on an ungreased cookie sheet.

Bake until the cookies are pale golden brown (nine minutes in an electric oven, 10 to 11 minutes in a gas one).

Remove and let cool on a rack.

Makes about 30 medium cookies.

Berries

Not a berry sorryHaving a predeliction for juices and jams, I thought I’d read about berries. Here are the edible berries in relationship to one another, approximately:
 
RUBUS: (Bramble berries)
Blackberry     Chehalim
    Loganberry   Phenomenal Berry   Black Logan
Red raspberry     Marionberry
    Nessberry     Olallieberry
Dewberry     Boysenberry     Youngberry
    Tayberry
Raspberry Gold   Fall gold
Black raspberry/Blackcap Mysore/Hill
Artic raspberry
Cloudberry
Wineberry/Wine raspberry
Salmonberry
Thimbleberry
Whitebark raspberry/Blue raspberry/Blackcap raspberry
 
MISC.:
Wolfberries/Goji berries
Nannyberry/Sheepberry/Sweet Viburnum
Honeyberry/Blue-berried honeysuckle/Sweetberry honeysuckle
Pyracantha berries
Elderberry
Hackberry
Barberry
 
RIBES: (Ribena!)
Blackcurrant   -illegal to grow in US until recently
Redcurrant
Whitecurrant
Gooseberry
Zante currant   -actually a dried grape
Ocean Spray “Currants”   -actually dried cranberries
 
VACCINIUM:
Cranberry Southern Mountain Cranberry/Bearberry/Dingleberry
Blueberry   Northern Highbush   Rubel
    Southern Highbush/Darrow’s/Evergreen
    O’Neal Cape Fear Blue Ridge Georgia Stem Legacy Summit Ozarkblue
    Lowbush
    Rabbiteye blueberry
    Sparkleberry
    Elliot’s
    Canadian/Sourtop/Velvetleaf Huckleberry
Bilberry/Whortleberry
    Blaeberry Whinberry Myrtle blueberry Fraughan Black-hearts
Lingonberry/Cowberry/Partridgeberry/Mountain cranberry
Crowberry/Rockberry
Bearberry Alpine/Red Arberry Foxberry Kinnikinnick Mealberry Sandberry
Huckleberry Red Huckleberry Box Huckleberry
 
A Box huckleberry plant in New Bloomfield PA is the oldest living thing in the world. Locals call the nine acre colony the Jerusalem Huckleberry and it is estimated to be 13,000 years old.

A Second Life design special order

The D-Type Jaguar by AutoartIn the virtual world of Second Life you can have whatever you want. It’s a Sims world where you can show everyone what you’d like to have in your first life if you could afford it. It’s conspicuous would-be consumption.

The limit? What money you’re willing to fork over for a a virtual piece of the rock, and the time and skill you’re willing to put into showing off. SL is a perfect fit for graphic artists: designers, architects or programmers. Those of us in need of those skills in the virtual showcase can hire them. I’ve seen some incredible objects in Second Life, fantastic houses, super sleek planes, even a submarine. Super modern conveyances, but I haven’t seen the perfect car.

What would make the ideal car in SL, a virtual world without physical constraints, where you can’t even enjoy the ride?

In Second Life, transport itself is a non-starter. In SL you can teleport anywhere, you can breath underwater, and you can fly. The sharper homes don’t even bother with stairs or elevators, of what purpose is any vehicle? What purpose? the aforementioned got-one factor.

The ultimate SL ride is therefore no debate. It’s the Jaguar D-type. Only six were ever built. Fresh out of the factory they placed first, second and fourth in the 1956 Le Mans. The next year race organizers had to limit the engine size to prevent another Jaguar rout. The 12-cylinder D-type combined unbriddled power and unfettered racing lines, never to be surpassed. The Jaguar’s dark green paint job defined England’s Racing Green.

I bet when you close your eyes and picture the primordial race car, whether on a slot car track, a hotweels loop, or a cross-country rally, it’s the D-type off-center fin you see behind a helmeted man with goggles. The precurser to everybody’s favorite Jaguar, the (E-type) XKE, emulated by the Corvette, the Dino, the GT, the Viper, and the 280Z, was the Jaguar D-type.

If in Second Life you can have anything, what kind of male could you possibly be without that car?

The Tallgrass theme

Not My Tribe uses the Tallgrass theme, an adaption from Wp-Andreas with a number of modifications, among them: meta tags, artifact ID, single post handling, mouseover.

Tallgrass features an extended header to disguise the blog nature of the architecture, adding tags found otherwise in traditional publishing websites. View the source code to see and borrow them. The meta tags change depending on the hierarchy of the page in question. Tallgrass features improved handling of page descriptions and abstracts.

There’s an artifact ID line to distinguish individually generated reads.

Tallgrass also features links to the previous and next posts, and mention of the author and publishing date beneath the post title.

We’ve also added a post number tag adjacent the post title for providing a temporary url to the article which presents it in the context of recent articles instead of alone.

There is also a mouseover title which uses Javascript but which has introduced a conflict with the WordPress header superfunction.

Laptop essentials

Hoodman Sun Shade E2000 for PowerbookThis is an essential for the laptop as side arm. If you keep your laptop at the ready to prepare notes or type on impulse, you need to adapt your screen for sunlight. Waiting in the car provides ideal isolation for tackling backlogged projects if you can see the cursor. Early photographers faced a similar problem excluding light and solved it then. Hoods.
 
Targus Traveler CoolpadHere’s another easy remedy for laptops which run hot. This swivel base provides the extra clearance for air cooling, the usual benefits of being able to turn your laptop on an axis without scratching or shaking anything, and it takes almost no additional space in your bag.

My Little Server

Whirlpool serverMi Fa Mi Re Sol. Very inexpensive with the basic configuration, easily modified for RAID and backup. Made by Whirlpool, with an emergency shut-off that’s aesthetic.
 
A time back we wrote a parser to handle text blocks, from INI files to content, for a website content-handling system. What do you call a universal PHP function that does everything? The tidyness of it all brought to mind only a jiggle. Mi-fa-mi-re-sol. My Little Parser.