Tag Archives: Teabag

Tea Partygoers may be embarrassing morons, but they know more than you

Acacia Park, April 15, 2010TEABAG SPRINGS, CO- Acacia Park overfilled with angry white folks for their Tax Day protest, though talk of actual tax resistance was as unlikely as spilled tea. Instead our local teabags espoused Fox talking points about the illegitimacy of our current government, etc. Aside from the socialist herring, how right they are.

The teabags have that over liberals and progressives, they know both parties are irredeemable. Their bucket brigades may be ferrying accelerants, but at least they know the house is on fire.

Acacia Park, April 15, 2010
Following Rush Limbaugh’s tip for preemptive framing of racist-infiltrator provocateurs, these gentlemen prepared a sign, but set it aside when invariably it pointed to naught but the teabagger beside them.

Acacia Park, April 15, 2010
On their lunch hour, a clutch of Palmer High School students decided to march across the park with hastily drawn signs which read “We love Obama.” An angry woman (pictured) immediately blocked their way asking: “How old are you? Are you voters?” When they answered no, the woman told them, “If you’re not voters, you should leave.” But the students marched past her attempts to take their picture and proceeded bravely through the crowd. Their chant of the same refrain “We support Obama” were quickly drowned by the huskier Teabag shouts of “USA, USA.”

Acacia Park, April 15, 2010
As per the usual musical acts which have accompanied past Acacia Park Tea Rallies, the crowd assembles to what sounds like a Doobie Brothers medley, including Neil Diamond’s anthem “They’re coming to America,” chosen it would seem because “America” figures prominently, and not because it’s an homage to immigrants.

Teabag Constitution Day, Acacia Park

THE NOT-WITH-MY-TAXES PATRIOTS are holding another tea party tomorrow, to mark Constitution Day Sept 17, 11AM downtown in Acacia Park, where two friends got permission to table there tomorrow to represent the Special Olympics and pass out applications.

It’s a terrible joke, but these teabaggers bring out my inner idiot. WE ARE TOMORROW going to don robes and false beards and circulate like multi-gendered Jesuses, through the throngs of angry Christians, passing out business cards on which we printed the passage from Matthew, what you did for the least of your brothers…

But I’d really like to recruit an intrepid African American male to help me with a hypothesis. I’m pretty sure that at the height of the crowd’s passions tomorrow, a single black voice raised against them, without his appearing to have allies nearby, will result in a spontaneous lunge to try to lynch him. Then we’ll pounce, with the on-duty portion of the CSPD who aren’t attending the event, and arrest the bigots. There won’t be anybody left in the park.

No Teabagger, Glenn Beck is a Teabag

GolemWe’ve been calling them teabaggers, the impulsive naysayers to reform and a rededicated social conscience; so named because they decry “taxation without representation.” Having lost the election of 2008, their idiocy is no longer represented in Washington by someone they feel they can share a beer with. So they hold “tea parties,” minus the jettisoning of capitalist goods. They protest all government spending, question Barack Obama’s birth certificate, and rail against immigrants, socialism, and the decline of White America. We call them “Teabaggers,” but the term conjures an unmerited sexual act. We should call them “Teabags” instead. I’d like a dittohead wingnut nickname that sounds more like scumbag.