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Let’s all celebrate Mithra’s birthday!

I get to feeling kind of Puritanical at this time of year.... so 'Why didn't Puritans like Christmas? ...They had several reasons, including the fact that it did not originate as a Christian holiday.'   'The upper classes in ancient Rome celebrated Dec. 25 as the birthday of the sun god Mithra. The date fell right in the middle of Saturnalia, a month-long holiday dedicated to food, drink, and revelry, and Pope Julius I is said to have chosen that day to celebrate Christ's birth as a way of co-opting the pagan rituals.' See When Americans banned Christmas--- The first 'War on Christmas' was declared almost 400 years ago, courtesy of our Puritan forefathers. Have a Merry Mithraday!

If you don’t see Merry Christmas in the window, no, you don’t go in that store! The Star of David used to do that trick.

This season's War-On-Christmas email is pushing a holiday ditty whose refrain goes "If you don't see Merry Christmas in the window, then you don't go in that store." Seems like it might be easier to mark those stores with a Star of David on the window, or would that be too obviously Nazi? On the other hand, it is refreshing to see even Dumbfox recognize the imperative of targeting commerce to make your point heard. So, boycotts do work? You can see the Christmas-lovers' point of course. They'd prefer that merchants exploiting the Christmas purchasing season at least be paying lip service to Christmas and not the ever-looming Godless "Holiday" eclipse, supposed. This song reminds us "it's all about the little baby Jesus" and goes on to list all the things Christmas wouldn't be without him. Of course, half the list traces back to pagan tradition, but what to Christian Holiday-goers know of that? And the latter half goes back as far as they remember, as their grandmother and her grandmother before might remember, but no more. The commercial Christmas charts its provenance to the industrial revolution, the birth of consumer goods and marketing. Santa Claus as we recognize him stepped right off Coca-cola calendars of the last mid-century. Christmas was the religious Trojan Horse to pitch the shopping holiday to reluctant hedonists. Now the same parishioners who don't have an needle's-eye chance to get to Heaven, feel like the can pay their tithes in Christmas presents. Yes, I do think it's funny that people who abhor the prospect of disruptive economic boycotts are willing to consider it at the drop of Santa's cap. Unless of course they're satisfied that making this video viral is a shot across the bow enough. I doubt their Christmas Spirit has any room for Lenten restraint. Oddly enough, one of their potential boycott targets, and mine, has hung banners in its outlets to announce they will be open for Christmas, introducing a delectable dilemma. Starbucks says Merry Christmas in the window, so it's exempt from this singing email picket, yet it disrespects Christmas by working through it. What do you do? I answer that one unequivocally. Yes, boycott Starbucks. They fund Israeli settlements in the Occupied Territories. That may be somewhat directly related to their celebrating Hanukkah not Christmas, but that's NO KIND OF REASON to boycott a business. If you want to boycott a store because it's not Christian, take it up with the Anti-Defamation League. Leave bigotry to the Zionists.

John B. Spencer’s lost Christmas lyric for Will Your House Be Blessed?

Gathering songs for a Christmas compilation, I went looking through different versions of "Will This House be Blessed?" by John B. Spencer. While the forgiveness spirit is in keeping with the season, everyone else's cover lacked whatever it was I remembered tied the song literally to Christmas. I finally found Spencer's original recording and there it was, an Easter reference actually, but too much irreligious specificity apparently for subsequent renditions. Everybody since Spencer omits his last verse, instead repeating the first, which they also alter to "Let it go, let it go" and not "Let him go." For the record, versions by Harry Manx, Richard Thompson, and Martin Simpson et al. go by the more assuring title, absent the question mark, ONLY THEN WILL YOUR HOUSE BE BLESSED. But here's how John B sang it: Let him go, let him go, let him go, go, go Let your sword of vengeance rest. ?Do the blind lead the blind?? Don’t be cruel to be kind.? Only then will your house be blessed. Turn your cheek, turn your cheek? Turn your other cheek,? Make your mercy manifest.? When the hawk and the dove? Fly in circles ’round your love,? Only then will your house be blessed. Offer prayer, offer prayer,? Offer one small prayer? To your uninvited guest.? Don’t deny him his right,? Make him welcome through the night. ?Only then will your house be blessed. Pull the nails from the cross. Pull the cross from the hill. Lay the body and soul to rest. May the blood that's been spilt --Drown your guilt. Only then will your house be blessed.

A 1930 Spirit of Christmas Past

Black Agenda Report revisited this Christmas poem by Langston Hughes: "Merry Christmas": Published in New Masses (Dec. 1930), p. 4. Merry Christmas, China, From the gun-boats in the river, Ten-inch shells for Christmas gifts, And peace on earth forever. Merry Christmas, India, To Gandhi in his cell, From righteous Christian England, Ring out, bright Christmas bell! Ring Merry Christmas, Africa, From Cairo to the Cape! Ring Hallehuiah! Praise the Lord! (For murder and for rape.) Ring Merry Christmas, Haiti! (And drown the voodoo drums— We'll rob you to the Christian hymns Until the next Christ comes Ring Merry Christmas, Cuba! (While Yankee domination Keeps a nice fat president In a little half-starved nation.) And to you down-and-outers, ("Due to economic laws") Oh, eat, drink, and be merry With a bread-line Santa Claus— While all the world hails Christmas, While all the church bells sway! While, better still, the Christian guns Proclaim this joyous day! While holy steel that makes us strong Spits forth a mighty Yuletide song: SHOOT Merry Christmas everywhere! Let Merry Christmas GAS the air!

Who is that on the back of the poor?

Here's a Christmas gift for your favorite First Worlder. Let them affix their mug behind the face of "Justitia," the Western Goddess of Justice, carried by the laboring poor as she seeks to right inequity without relinquishing her station of privilege. Who is the bloated First World hypocrite -- but you! This statue by Danish artist Jen Galschiot is also known as Survival of the Fattest. Global elitists can celebrate their face on this 8-inch cardboard cutout as it depicts their naked supremacy.   For COP15, Galschiot installed this life-sized statue in the water next to Hans Christian Anderson's Little Mermaid. Climate talk delegates who ventured to see Copenhagen harbor's famous tourist attraction saw a grotesque figure straddling her carrier, whose head struggled to stay above the water.   Picture frames are popular Christmas gifts for those of us who lack nothing, except more frames to decorate pictures of ourselves and our stuff. How's this for framing an emergent identity?

Oh. my… my my my my my…

This is from Craigslist, on the Free Stuff.   The giver says "...would make a great Christmas gift, tell me what you'd like to do with it..."   Ummmm.... I think that what it makes me want to do would be censored.   Happy Birthday to the Prince of Peace. It's from Hallmark Expressions Inc too. Is there ANY concept, any at all, that would be beyond the Corporate For Sale signs? Actually the Snow-dome itself was featured in the "A Merry Madascar" Christmas "special" they're plugging the living Hell out of on NBC since before Thanksgiving. Lots of corporate sponsorship goes into that. Bad Capitalist! Naughty!

The war on Christmas they worry about

What it's going to take to revisit 350ppm, to reverse climate change, is not carbon trading, wind turbines, miraculous scientific leaps, or a COP15 conference. The anti-technology has been known to us since sustainable times, when mankind didn't have to transcend his wants, because it was challenge enough to seek for his needs. Conservation.

Tis the season once more….

for the Talk Radio Hate Speech about a "war on Christmas." I don't actually think they're stupid, mind you, they know full well that they're lying... and omitting a HUGE amount of data. So, to fact check them ONCE MORE... The Founding Fathers never instituted either Christmas or Thanksgiving as national holidays. Nor did the Pilgrims. Nor the Puritans. Abraham Lincoln did recognize both, but with the emphasis on Thanksgiving. Some of Lincolns closest friends and advisers were rabid anti-Catholics. King James First was crowned king because he was, at least in name, a Protestant. King James invited the Puritans and the Pilgrims, not very courteously, to get out of England. Because they said he was too Catholic. Their major sticking point was Christmas. He was for it. They were against it. The Hate Radio people insist that we're supposed to rule America and just by consequential extension, the entire world, by the several bickering groups of Late Medieval Feudal Warlords who were killing each other and a whole bunch of civilians in Europe at the time, and had just begun to tear up America, over different interpretations of the Christian faith. As usual in these Battles of (nit)Wits, the primary victims were Other Christians. Because in England at the time there were few openly Non-Christians to be had. Jews maybe. Jews who were burned at the stake, hanged, tortured etc etc right along with people suspected of Witchcraft. Or Christian Blasphemy. Which brings it to the central theme of the Hate Speech Radio Talkmongers. Why, you might ask, did the "founding fathers" NOT establish a natoinal religion? Well, I might answer, the slaughter of Christians by Christians was fresh in their memories. Washington had participated in an extremely bloody extension of an ongoing European "holy" war between Catholics and Protestants. In America the casualty count was comparatively low, mostly because the White Population was relatively low. Which brings up that ugly business of the Founding Fathers being Anti-American, as in, anti-Indian. In the mad rush to cast the Puritans especially but also the Pilgrims as Pure Saints who get to make our daily decisions and run our Government from Beyond The Grave, they have to omit details. Lots of Details. The scene replayed in countless Thanksgiving pageants of Racial Harmony between English Invaders and Americans has many dark corners that the Haters don't want to illuminate. It complicates the simplicity of their "war on christmas" ranting. And if they encouraged their listeners to actually think it would be bad for their bottom line. For instance many Puritans wrestled with the question of Where Did The Indians Originate? Because we're not mentioned in Genesis. Some, like the witch-hunter Cotten Mather,often quoted by the Hate-mongers on Fox News and Clear Channel as being a "Founding Father" whose original intent is Holy and Beyond Question, not only hated Christmas but also many of the toys which are now given for Christmas, meaning Dolls, were declared by him an his contemporaries as being Agents of the Devil. And that Indians have no souls, since we're not

No. 1 domestic terrorist Daniel McGowan

The Huffington Post published a letter by ELF/ALF political prisoner Daniel McGowan, who is allowed to send one letter per week from CMU36, the controversial "Communication Management Unit" whose cover-name is USP Marion. According to McGowan, prison guards call it the "I Unit," which probably does not stand for illegal. As of May 2009, I have been at USP Marion's "Communication Management Unit," or CMU, for roughly nine months and now is a good time to address the misconceptions (and the silence) regarding this unit. I want to offer a snapshot of my day-to-day life here as well as some analysis of what the existence of CMUs in the federal prison system implies. It is my hope that this article will partially fill the void of information that exists concerning the CMU, will help dispel rumors, and will inspire you to support those of us on the inside fighting the existence of these isolation units -- in the courts and in the realm of public opinion. It is best to start from the beginning -- or at least where my story and the CMU meet. My transfer here is no different from that of many of the men here who were living at Federal Correctional Institutions (normal prisons) prior to the genesis of the CMUs. On May 12, 2008, on my way back from a decent lunch, I was told to report to "R&D" (receiving and discharge). I was given two boxes and half an hour to pack up my meager possessions. After complying I was placed in the SHU (secure housing unit or "hole") and put on a bus the next day. There was no hearing and no information given to me or my attorneys -- only after a day was I told I was on my way to Marion, Illinois' CMU. Hearing the term "CMU" made my knees buckle as it drummed up some memory I had of the infamous "control units" at Marion (closed in 1995 and replaced by Florence ADX: the lone Federal "Supermax" prison). Then it hit me. The lawyers, in challenging the application of the terrorist enhancement in my case, made the prescient argument that if I receive the enhancement, the Bureau of Prisons (BoP) would use that to place me in the CMU at FCI Terre Haute, Indiana (at the time just 5 months old). In fact, on the way to FCI Sandstone in August 2007, I not only saw the CMU but met one of its residents while in transit. Let me back up and offer a brief history of the Communication Management Units. The CMU I reside in, at USP Marion, received its first prisoner in May 2008 and when I arrived, held about 17 men, the majority of whom were Muslim. Currently, the unit has 25, with a capacity of 52 cells. In April 2009, we received seven new people, all of whom were from the CMU at FCI Terre Haute. The unit is overwhelmingly Muslim with 18 men identifying as such.

Little Eichmann Country-Western anthem

Of course, that describes most of the Pseudo-patriotic crap infesting the airwaves now... But there's one I heard "that's the way things were and still ought to be" Like honoring our preachers, leaders, teachers and heroes and believing everything they said Charlie Manson was a preacher. Preached Armageddon really really strong. Cotten Mather was a Preacher who gets quoted a lot by the Reich Wing, (Like Chuck Norris and Dawg the Bounty Hunter, just another couple of Wannabe Pigs) whenever they say that America should be a Religious Dictatorship... Who also said that Native Americans were a construct of Satan because we're not specifically mentioned in Genesis, that we had no souls and should be exterminated. And that the people who allowed their kids to play with dolls were practicing witchcraft and should be killed. And the Kiddoes themselves... Imagine, if you will, somebody offing your rug-rats because you gave them a Teddy Bear or let them watch Mickey Mouse or Bugs Bunny.... And the Good Pastor Mather also owned Slaves. Leaders? McCarthy, for instance, with all the Liars, Murderers and Thieves who were and are his Fellow Travelers, like Reagan, Nixon, Bush (all the Bush Klan), Billy Sunday who was one of Their Crowd and also a Nazi Sympathizer (and, leave us not forget, a Preacher), People who could feel at ease at a Country Club or a Klan Rally? We should believe everything they said or say? Really? We're supposed to (here in Colorado Springs) Revere and Honor "heroes" like Custer and Chivington and Palmer... Racist SCUM who tried to wipe a whole race of Americans from the face of the world. When Custer is quoted in the book (and film) Little Big Man as saying It's more important to kill the women and children, because if we let them breed there wouldn't be any point killing the men It's an accurate representation of what the punk murdering bastard actually DID say. And we've got an Idol of his disciple William Jackson Palmer parked right in the middle of a busy intersection. By the way, Custer and Chivington and Palmer also believed in and quoted Cotten Mather... And the "War on Christmas" loudmouths should remember this, Cotten Mather was a Puritan... whose family had been run out of England for criticizing their Religious Dictatorship and, importantly, pissing off King James by opposing the celebration of CHRISTMAS because it's a Catholic holiday I don't remember the name of the singer, but it's one of those redneck punks who offers to beat up on anybody who disagrees with him. Yep, real Role Model for a working Civilization. The kid who sings the song is (to me) a youngster. Mid twenties, maybe thirties. No way in HELL could this dude remember anything at all about the 70s even. Far Less the 40s, 50s and 60s that's he's so nostalgic about. When Apartheid was the Official Law of the Land in 20 states. People of "color" could be arrested or even hanged for not stepping off the sidewalk to let the Master Race walk past. THAT'S the way things were, and I for one actually

Santa bought little; Barack to throw paper dollars into air

The Christmas shopping season was the worst in four decades with sales slumping everywhere. Wal-Mart and other retailers warn after weak December So our new fearless leader, Barack, plans to continue Bush's program of throwing deficit dollars into the wind towards the rich. Everybody's on board the road to bankrupting the US government! What happens if the printing out of new dollars to give to bankrupt companies 'fails'? What happens if they still go under? Who will have been placed into holding the debt? Why that would be you and your kids, and you might well not even have your over mortgaged house as a roof over your head, nor have a job to hold onto? Due to the loss of value to the national currency, you could find prices going UP, Up, UP! You will find yourself living in a country sunk into holding trillions of dollars of debt it now owes. However, since your country's government will still be holding the balance of the world's nuclear weaponry, there is a silver radioactive cloud to the future here. What country is going to be collecting on what your government owes them? Sound like a scene from the movie, The Godfather? What's a little collateral damage here or there since you are a Proud American? What's a little debt among 'friends'? A week or so ago I came across a homeless person living in his car, but he had bumper stickers placed all over it with 'United We Stand' as the message. That can be your inspiring message in this rather bleak scenario. At least you will be an American and America does best at passing off misery onto others... others like YOU. LAs Homeless blog asks, Do we set up car parks for Homeless Living? A good question...

Falling onto the sky….

Hairy Christmas and a Hippie New Year. People popping off fireworks and the occasional firearm, making the poor stupid little dog next door bark insanely. Ok, headphones on, music, relaxing ahhhh... Anyhow, these are some of the jewelry pictures. So, how they evolved, when I was recycling some computer parts, I had the magneto from a floppy drive and was trying to visualize how best to take it apart, strip the copper wire from it efficiently. One of my nieces and her friend were there, the little girl said "Oh, that would make a really pretty necklace." And she was right. So I started making them like that, there's about a hundred dfferent kinds of these magnetoes in various disk drives. Plenty of creative room using circle patterns. Me likey muchly. And then, I moved up here. People told me about the Medicine Wheel, which I had never seen. So I looked it up. There's one up near Sturgis which has been a prayer site for centuries, best guess is just before the Spanish came up from Mexico, and the Anasazi had just faded into the desert pueblos. The tradition is, when you go there, you're in the center of the Heart of the Earth. Meaning the Black Hills. The Sioux and the other northern nations say that it's alive, this heart. And, when you look down on the Black Hills, from high enough up, and can see the whole thing, it DOES look a whole lot like a human heart. Some of the prophets, like Black Elk, say and said that this land could be killed. Maybe they're right. The name Bad Lands only means that it's not any good for farming, you can't grow much there, it's "bad land". The blood-soaking and general rape of this Heart of the World didn't really start until the early 1800s. First it was over the Fur Trade. Indians took what furs they needed to survive, leave the rest. The French and especially the English had a huge market for it back in Europe, so Money reared it's ugly head. Then gold was discovered there. Standing Bear Butte, where the Great Medicine Wheel is, was suddenly the center of a raging war. For centuries, 500 years at least, people had gone there to experience the strongest of Medicine. Medicine is a catch all translation of a huge number of Indian words, spirit and magic and life and it's all woven together, no part is separate from the rest, it's the Great Circle. One of the translated words is manitou. Another is the garden of the Gods. See, most of this I only learned once I came here. The kokapelli, for instance, it's a bizarre coincidence like the medicine wheels I put together.... But when I was crippled up, recovering from the first surgeries like 16 years ago, sitting in a wheelchair, at my sister's apartment, feeling sorry for myself... and one of my nieces had gotten a bag of toys from her school... and one of the toys was a Recorder. Ein Zauber-Flut. La Flauta Inglesa.(the English Flute) La Flauta Dulce - sweet flute. The kids were running around blowing

Harold Pinter on drama and US banditry

"What has happened to our moral sensibility? Did we ever have any? What do these words mean? Do they refer to a term very rarely employed these days - conscience? A conscience to do not only with our own acts but to do with our shared responsibility in the acts of others? Is all this dead?" -Harold Pinter (1930-2008) I'm reminded of a friend of mine who asked "You know what PTSD is? It's a bad conscience." An outspoken critic of the Iraq War, Harold Pinter died Christmas Eve. Here is the address he prerecorded for his acceptance of the Nobel Prize in 2005, when he had become too infirm to attend in person. Nobel Lecture: Art, Truth & Politics In 1958 I wrote the following: 'There are no hard distinctions between what is real and what is unreal, nor between what is true and what is false. A thing is not necessarily either true or false; it can be both true and false.' I believe that these assertions still make sense and do still apply to the exploration of reality through art. So as a writer I stand by them but as a citizen I cannot. As a citizen I must ask: What is true? What is false? Truth in drama is forever elusive. You never quite find it but the search for it is compulsive. The search is clearly what drives the endeavour. The search is your task. More often than not you stumble upon the truth in the dark, colliding with it or just glimpsing an image or a shape which seems to correspond to the truth, often without realising that you have done so. But the real truth is that there never is any such thing as one truth to be found in dramatic art. There are many. These truths challenge each other, recoil from each other, reflect each other, ignore each other, tease each other, are blind to each other. Sometimes you feel you have the truth of a moment in your hand, then it slips through your fingers and is lost. I have often been asked how my plays come about. I cannot say. Nor can I ever sum up my plays, except to say that this is what happened. That is what they said. That is what they did. Most of the plays are engendered by a line, a word or an image. The given word is often shortly followed by the image. I shall give two examples of two lines which came right out of the blue into my head, followed by an image, followed by me. The plays are The Homecoming and Old Times. The first line of The Homecoming is 'What have you done with the scissors?' The first line of Old Times is 'Dark.' In each case I had no further information. In the first case someone was obviously looking for a pair of scissors and was demanding their whereabouts of someone else he suspected had probably stolen them. But I somehow knew that the person addressed didn't give a damn

Alternative Christmas Message of Iran’s President, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, to the British people

Maybe it's of interest to have this Translation of the Alternative Christmas Message, 24 December 2008 on hand, since there is sure to be a lot of hateful propaganda in the US and British press about it. Yes, there already has been. Here you can read the translation of the Alternative Christmas Message, delivered by the President of Iran, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad. "In the Name of God the Compassionate, the Merciful. Upon the anniversary of the birth of Jesus, Son of Mary, the Word of God, the Messenger of mercy, I would like to congratulate the followers of Abrahamic faiths, especially the followers of Jesus Christ, and the people of Britain. The Almighty created the universe for human beings and human beings for Himself. He created every human being with the ability to reach the heights of perfection. He called on man to make every effort to live a good life in this world and to work to achieve his everlasting life. On this difficult and challenging journey of man from dust to the divine, He did not leave humanity to its own devices. He chose from those He created the most excellent as His Prophets to guide humanity. All Prophets called for the worship of God, for love and brotherhood, for the establishment of justice and for love in human society. Jesus, the Son of Mary, is the standard-bearer of justice, of love for our fellow human beings, of the fight against tyranny, discrimination and injustice. All the problems that have bedevilled humanity throughout the ages came about because humanity followed an evil path and disregarded the message of the Prophets. Now as human society faces a myriad of problems and a succession of complex crises, the root causes can be found in humanity's rejection of that message, in particular the indifference of some governments and powers towards the teachings of the divine Prophets, especially those of Jesus Christ. The crises in society, the family, morality, politics, security and the economy which have made life hard for humanity and continue to put great pressure on all nations have come about because the Prophets have been forgotten, the Almighty has been forgotten and some leaders are estranged from God. If Christ were on earth today, undoubtedly He would stand with the people in opposition to bullying, ill-tempered and expansionist powers. If Christ were on earth today, undoubtedly He would hoist the banner of justice and love for humanity to oppose warmongers, occupiers, terrorists and bullies the world over. If Christ were on earth today, undoubtedly He would fight against the tyrannical policies of prevailing global economic and political systems, as He did in His lifetime. The solution to today's problems is a return to the call of the divine Prophets. The solution to these crises is to follow the Prophets - they were sent by the Almighty for the good of humanity. Today, the general will of nations is calling for fundamental change. This is now taking place. Demands for

Merry Christmas, Santa has a new ride

Season's Felicitations from Not My Tribe COLORADO, 2008- A Manitou family in Crystal Hills opted to hang Christmas lights on their old truck in lieu of their home. Was it to economize, to conserve, or to commemorate 2008 as the year of the pickup? If I'm the only Grinch ascribing that interpretation, I still think it's unassailable. 2008 was the year the pickup truck hit the crash test barrier. Gas prices of four dollars per gallon tarnished the appeal of the pickup. Even now as inexplicably low fuel costs are dangled before Americans like a dealer's freebie, the downward spinning economy has doomed the in-utile utility vehicle and there's no getting back up on that saddle. Is that any kind of Christmas message? Sure! It's Obama's urbane, metropolitan, social-conscious, victory over the Republican cowboy. Common sense over common simple. Practical over pretend.

Mexico’s headless Drug War soldiers

Mexico's current Right Wing government has been duped into fighting a US 'war on drugs' inside Mexico. Actually it has been paid money big time to do so. Mexico also is fighting D.Cs war on immigrants, too, as its own treatment of Central American immigrants entering Mexican territory is abysmal, and yes it too is mainly being paid for by US dollars. The daily casualties in Mexico just yesterday from this war were 33 nationwide, 14 of them in Ciudad Juarez alone, the city right across from El Paso, Texas. And then there were Mexico's headless Drug War soldiers. If the US wants to give Mexico a Christmas gift of a different type, it might ought to call off this nonsense, and change the whole way it deals with drugs? If not, we may soon see headless American soldiers from this war, not from the idiotically US government named 'Global War on Terrorism'. How many wars against shadows can the Right Wing nuts running the US lose at one time? On to Afghanistan, Obama! You'll be bigger losers than even Cheney and Dubya were when it's all said and done. The press doesn't cover in the US the real results of the US sponsored and run Drug War on Mexico soil. There's basically nothing about the headless Mexican soldiers this week in the papers here, but instead we get treated to pictures of the photos of the Sinaloa beauty queen busted for supposedly riding in a vehicle full of gang members and guns. The stop was made by Mexican soldiers who still have their heads attached. MESSAGE- The Drug War is effective. REALITY- The Drug War is a ongoing disaster.

Throwing a shoe at Bush was not enough- Dubya and Cheney need to be tortured for National Security reasons

It seems to me that the wrong guy is being tortured right now, pre-Christmas.   I'm talking about the Iraqi reporter who threw the shoe at America's smirking Clown President, George W. Bush. Why is he being tortured and not the clown named Dubya? We all know, thanks to Dick Cheney, that torture is a useful 'tool' for pricks like Dick Cheney. It simply gives them a sense of worth. But let's face it, these two, Dick and Dubya, endangered US National Security for eight years, and are hiding away in secret many more of their acts of international terrorism, many of which continue to endanger the American people ourselves. It looks to me that torture is just the right thing to do to obtain this vital information from these two criminals, and possibly stop yet more subversion from taking place even after they leave their criminal posts as head mafiosos. Let's face it, it would not take much to break down the clown Dubya's resistance. He squeal like a pig if even the slightest pressure is applied to his nuts. Think of the amount of much needed information that could be obtained about his still hidden collaborators and their roles in spreading terrorism world wide. They're still active you know, and America needs this information to stop yet more acts of terrorism from being committed by the US government in the days ahead. Sure, I know! Squeezing Dubya's nuts is an objectionable and dirty thing to do. Under normal circumstances it would be morally wrong to do it, but today National Security is at the stake. So let's light the fire, squeeze the nuts, and get this useful information out of Dick and Dubya. It's the right thing to do. Our country needs this information! If they do not squeal after their nuts are squeezed (hard to imagine happening from pigs like them), then crush the nuts and light the fire around the stake! That'll get them talking. Oh! And buy the way, this is not really torture at all, but just some rough handling, that's all. But why do these criminals think that they have a right to be coddled? Free Iraq! Free the Iraqi shoe thrower! Jail Bush, and go to work on him! It's a National Security issue and we all need to write tot he Department of Homeland Security and demand that this information being obtained from Dubya and Dick... By any means necessary... it's the pragmatic American way!

America’s Biblical fairy tale- The President’s caring capitalism

It's that time of year again, where fairy tales abound. Ho-Ho-Ho!   America's fairy fairytale of Biblical proportions is the one about the President guiding a caring capitalism forward to the little American kids. On, Dancer! On, Torturer! On, Sniper! On, Bomber! We've got presents of democracy, liberty, and freedom to deliver to you all! You gotta believe in the God of American capitalism though, otherwise a great horde of locusts will descend on your tribe! And our Almighty President will OK it that we rape your women, kill your first born sons, and then rain down a flood of horror which will awash your lands, and sink all except the aircraft carrier with the American flag! ...if you do not believe? The President cares, but you must believe or? ... well else! Moses first brought the fairy tale of the caring Almighty God! Then Paul spread the message of the Almighty God's son, who cared for those sinners... as long as they believe in him. Otherwise, this gentle man and his father promised an eternal Hell to you. Today our Almighty caring president promises his caring capitalism will free your souls through the power of your faith in it all. You Must have faith in America's Biblical fairy tale! Children, sleep! Inaugeration Day comes soon! The President cares, and caring capitalism will be your Almighty Salvation! Onward, Silly Christian soldiers carrying the Cro... no the caring Capitalism forward to the Turks! Ho-Ho-Ho! Seasons Greetings!

North Pole-tergeists from Christmas Passed

A highlight of the Christmas season every year is gathering my big family together under one roof -- my children, my parents, five siblings and their spouses, and twelve (thirteen by year's end!) nieces and nephews. Everyone is married now, save me and the kids, but I can recall many holidays when new boy- or girlfriends were part of the celebration. Tales of our past houseguests poke edgewise into at least one family conversation every year. Each of these dear departed-from-us souls has left behind fond memories, and I imagine that we've provided them with a few stories as well. Like how my sisters and I share a secret language of syllables and partial thoughts that no one can follow, not even our mother. Or how all three of my brothers-in-law swill too much grog every year and end up running naked through whatever neighborhood we're in, losing wallets and shoes and sustaining minor injuries in the imponderable annual ritual. It's no wonder that the poor dears rarely returned the following year. It isn't that we didn't want to bring them into the fold; we did, and we tried. "Once when Joey was in first grade and I was in fifth, she went to a different school than the rest of us because we'd just moved back here from Topeka and there wasn't room at DR so I walked her to school and one of our friends, whose parents were Irish. . ." But with stories flying and a lifetime of shared experiences providing the framework, the new loves found themselves smack in the middle of what must've seemed to be a verbal maelstrom. Occasionally my younger brother Andy would attempt interaction through the use of punnery. I know this was a friendly overture to our visitors because the entire family, so far as I can tell, despises puns, mostly because of him. When I was in high school, 11-year-old Andy -- redheaded, bespectacled, buck-toothed Andy -- would hang about ten feet away from my friends and interject punny witticisms whenever he could. My friends laughed (laughed!) at his horrid intrusions which would incense me. "Mom! Andy is bugging us! He's telling stupid jokes again!" My mom would admonish him, much too kindly to satisfy me, "Andy, sweetie, leave the big girls alone, and stop making puns. People hate puns." Punnitry, for those who've been spared the exposure, is largely the trick of compacting two or more ideas within a single word or expression. It's wordplay at its most punitive. To wit: Punnery is a rewording experience, especially around Christmas time. That's when people exchange hellos and good buys with each other, the time of year when every girl wants her past forgotten and her presents remembered, the time of year when mothers have to separate the men from the toys. Yes, that kind of punnishment. Studies have shown a correlation between punderstanding and sound intellect, so the dumb jokes aren't really so dumb. Puns are found in many of Shakespeare's plays and in the Bible,

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