Tag Archives: World Bank

Yay! Ukrainians win austerity measures and right to go in debt to World Bank!

We can keep arguing about who the Ukrainian opposition/protesters were, but the aftermath of the celebrated uprising has wrought this: the new leadership is being courted by the EU and the IMF so long as they agree to club requirements. Make austerity reforms, aka the privatization of public assets, and saddle their economy with debt to the World Bank. Meanwhile Russia is being warned to keep its military out. That should confirm who won in Ukraine.

IMF pick Christine Lagarde-Obamette updates beau mot Cherchez La Femme

One of the boys, literally
IMF DSK replacement Christine Lagarde assumes leadership of the International Monetary Fund today, the world’s most powerful woman. Will she be the spoonful of sweetness to make austerity cuts go down? How’s your blood-sugar crashing on Obama? My guess is this fairy grandmother gambit will go down in Europe like an Obama Smurfette. To further my sexist analogy, imagine Lagarde the stereotypical bank loan officer, absolutely immovable. But Lagarde is personable, kindly, and maternal, and she’s willing to extend your loan, on the condition that you forfeit your house and all your possessions, and rent them from her. In the end you have nothing, but you don’t starve. By the way, the sheriff outside work for her. The IMF and the paramilitary riot police -that’s whose army. It’s a contract re-up you can’t refuse. That’s “austerity,” larceny with the improbably-legitimated veneer of usury, and it’s her last best offer.

Cherchez la femme or “get the woman”, used to be an investigative phrase meaning, find the extra-marital affair behind the political intrigue. The effect of this strategy was so absolute that it came to mean looking for the obvious. And so, isn’t the appointment of the silver-coiffed woman to front the severely PR-challenged, greed-saturated IMF, the obvious choice for a facelift?

Look at the IMF, an old boys network rivaled perhaps only by the World Bank. The solitary Lagarde is the next best thing to the superior exotic, one black man. They didn’t have one, and that novelty might be playing itself out already across the pond.

Augustin Carstens Fat BastardSpeaking of the New World, with Lagarde, the IMF avoided the challenger touted as the champion of emerging nations, Bank of Mexico nomineee and corpulence personified, Augustin Carstens. You might remember Carstens as the obesity-suited Fat Bastard from Austin Powers, who kept begging to be given Mini-Me for a snack.

What an unfortunately apt personification of the banking system Augusten Carstens would have been. Try to find a single photograph that wouldn’t have made the IMF aims plain: the bankers are licking their chops not only for your last penny, they want your ribs.

Mexicans have to brave illegal status in the United States to flee the economic policies enforced by their Fat Bastard.

Advice for next DC Madam

All sex worker administrators working in financial capitals DC or NY or London may want to take note, when affairs go awry, you are entangled with the vice squad, and you are hailed as that episode’s “DC Madam,” consider making your client list known far and wide, instead of hoping to parlay it for reduced charges. Whether convicted or not, you will shortly be found dead, by your hand, without a sign of foul play. A suicide, like journalists, aids, and other compromised folk before you.

Did Deborah Palfrey have any chance, like her colleague Brandy Britton three months before her? Both met with suicide before their tales could really go viral. The Pamela Martin & Associates agency catered to the most powerful mobsters in the world. Including but bigger than US Senators, Vitter or his ilk, including but bigger than government agency or military heads. The now dead girls were in bed with the World Bank and the International Monetary Fund and USAID. Can you name badder johns? Putin’s KGB gang, serviced by the Russian gymnastics team, comes in a distant minor league.